Starting over

LegacyUser

Had a rough time on and off since I was small but lately it's just been awful. I know a lot of people are getting things really rough.
I have lived in the same small town my whole life, same people, same thing day in day out, no work, living at home. I'm just tired of it all. My body and mind feel like giving up every day.
My question is has anyone just upped sticks and moved somewhere, where they don't know anyone and made a go of it? It's what I feel like doing. I mean moving far enough away to make a fresh start but close enough to visit home once in a while.
The thing that puts me off the idea is that I can't seem to find even basic work and that if it doesn't work out or I end up being a bigger loner, I'll have to move back home til I plan my next move.

Eve_Dublin

"Fortune favours the brave"...no truer word has been spoken! I'm emigrating on my own to a different country where I know nobody and only have an intermediate grasp of the language to teach English in a few months. Lived abroad before but always with friends or boyfriends but this time round it's just me. Absolutely terrified...I literally feel nauseous thinking about it but it's exciting and I wouldn't swap this feeling of uncertainty, apprehension and fear of the unknown for anything in the world.

Don't want to rain on your parade but you also have to remember that "Wherever you go, there you are". If you think you're down because of your current circumstances then yeah, a change of location could be good (it sounds like a head-wreaking situation you're in at the moment, tbh) but remember that no matter how exotic a place might seem in a magazine or on the telly, life there can become monotonous and boring at times as well. You'll have to get a job, pay rent, clean your flat, make dinner, encounter boring, rude and ignorant people just like anywhere else. You have to be prepared for that. The grass ain't always greener on the other side but I can relate to your feeling of just wanting to get away and start afresh. Like Sunflower, it can work out for you..or it might not. Who knows. You'll never know 'till you take a chance and sure, that's what it should be all about.

Good luck!

Ajos

I got a Green Card in the lottery a little over five years ago and moved to New York. I didn't know a single person here or have any work lined up. I got an apartment over Cragslist, said goodbye to everybody, got on a plane and that was that. I remember being in the taxi on the way to my new place, hoping that it actually existed and that I hadn't just been scammed for a deposit!

It was the best decision I ever made. Like yourself I had been feeling that I was in a real rut personally and professionally and I really wanted to shake things up. It worked! My plan was to give myself three months and if I hadn't gotten some kind of toehold by then I would admit defeat and return home. By the end of three months I was absolutely nowhere, but I realized there was no way I could leave without really pushing it to the edge and keep my self respect. It took nine months of moving into progressively cheaper apartments, paying off one credit card with another and eating a lot of beans on toast before I landed a decent job, but it was well worth pushing through the difficult parts.

It's true that, as Eve says, "Wherever you go, there you are" and any insecurities or issues you have will certainly travel with you, but there's a lot to be said for removing yourself from your support network (not totally, and not forever) and finding out how you do on your own. You'll gain a whole new level of respect for yourself.

Also, it's fascinating to see what kind of friends you make as an adult when you don't have any mates to fall back on and you're forced to make a new social life from scratch. You probably have a lot of friends that are your friends because you've known them for a long time (and there's a lot to be said for that - old friends are one thing I really miss) but you're a different person now and the kind of people you find yourself gravitating towards may surprise you.

I know I was extemely lucky with the Green Card, but there are still lots of options open to you. I travel home generally a couple of times a year, and now that I'm established my family and friends travel out to see me every so often - it's not like the old days when somebody would leave and never see their families again. So yeah, do it! Worst case you don't like it, move back and pick up where you left off. Best case - sky's the limit!

LegacyUser

I've done this twice. First time when I was 20. I got a bit fedup with Dublin so I just up and left and moved to a different country. I lived there for 2 years. It was the best thing I ever did.

Then I moved back to Dublin for two years and got really fedup with the place again.

I wanted somewhere with nice weather and not too far from home, so I went onto Google Earth and picked a random city on the east coast of Spain. I had never heard of the place before, but the sattelite images looked nice . So I booked a flight, packed a school-sized bag with clothes, and off I went. I've been here now for just over two years and haven't been happier.

OP, go travelling or move somewhere. You will learn so much about yourself and hopefully be a much happier person.