Bi Bi girls

LegacyUser

I’m 27, reasonably attractive (I’m told), quite successful and I’d like to think a gentleman. Meeting girls is never a problem, however, I’m totally unable to keep them because when I tell them I’m bi-sexual they find it a total turn off. I have never cheated on past partners and feel that most girls immediately dismiss me. This is not really a problem in Europe only here in Ireland. Any suggestions?

LegacyUser

Well do you bring it up immediately? Might scare them off if they don't understand.

Wurly

Unregistered wrote: »

I’m 27, reasonably attractive (I’m told), quite successful and I’d like to think a gentleman. Meeting girls is never a problem, however, I’m totally unable to keep them because when I tell them I’m bi-sexual they find it a total turn off. I have never cheated on past partners and feel that most girls immediately dismiss me. This is not really a problem in Europe only here in Ireland. Any suggestions?

Maybe reserve telling them until they get to know you first. If then you feel a relationship may blossom, tell them then.

If it's not a big deal for you, then it shouldn't be for anyone else.

I think the reason for the prejudice is all to do with stereotypes. That somehow being bi will make you more promiscuous or more likely to cheat. As you say yourself - not the case. But I think that may be what these girls are thinking. I haven't come across a bisexual guy before in the world of dating. Maybe most girls haven't either and the thought confuses them or makes them uneasy.

So - as with anyone else, show the girl that you are a good person who will treat her with respect etc etc. Should you feel something may come of it with her, then tell her.

It could be argued that you simply don't have to say anything. I mean, if it's not going to affect them, then why tell them? But again, it's part of who you are and you shouldn't have to keep a big part of yourself under wraps to placate someone else.

At the risk of sounding cliche - the one for you wont judge you. If they do, you're better off not having them in your life.

Personally speaking - I honestly don't think having a bisexual partner would turn me off. Granted, I have never been in that situation but I really don't think it would. Why should it really? Ya know?

Chin up - don't let this eat away at your confidence either. You just haven't met the right person yet. This is who YOU are after all. Be proud of that.

LegacyUser

Thanks for your advice and I'd just like to state that I don't introduce myself and tell them straight off the bat. I don't really consider it a big deal and only disclose it if it's to a girl I could see being happy with. I feel they have the right to know before entering a long term relationship and wouldn't want them to think i'm either ashamed or have been lying to them.

Wurly

Unregistered wrote: »

I've gotta be honest, I'd avoid you like the plague too.

I like a man to be a man, 100% hetro -I find bisexual and metro types a right turn off. Sexual tourists.

Also whats your appearance like?

If you are all over-coiffed and metro looking a lot of women will avoid you like the plague, majority of women like a masculine looking man....

That means dont be plucking your eyebrows, creating toipery out of your facial hair etc and fussing about yourself too much, instant turn off for a lot of women.

I'm sorry but I really find your post quite offensive.

You have automatically assumed that he is not manly and is just doing this out of sexual greed.

The last time I checked, sexual orientation was not a choice.

It is okay that this type of person would not be for you. It is NOT okay to assume that he is completely camp and choosing his sexuality. You are criticising his orientation by your sweeping generalisation of him being a 'sexual tourist'. Yes, it is possible to be attracted to both sexes. What's the problem?

Lord knows, there are a lot of bad men out there. I can't imagine turning away a genuinely good and honest man, just because he is bisexual.

The fact that he has said that he has no problem attracting girls in the first place would suggest he's not going around with flowers in his hair so to speak.

OP - this is the stereotype that exists unfortunately. Like I say, you need to let your personality out first.

shellyboo

Unregistered wrote: »

Thanks for your advice and I'd just like to state that I don't introduce myself and tell them straight off the bat. I don't really consider it a big deal and only disclose it if it's to a girl I could see being happy with. I feel they have the right to know before entering a long term relationship and wouldn't want them to think i'm either ashamed or have been lying to them.

Unfortunately, OP, these girls are within their rights to decide you're not for them because of your orientation.

I think, as someone said above, the one who's right for you isn't going to have a problem with it. Would you even be comfortable dating someone who had a problem with bisexuality when it's part of who you are? It'd be like a really religious person dating an agnostic... it's only going to cause problems.

Wurly

Unregistered wrote: »

Thanks for your advice and I'd just like to state that I don't introduce myself and tell them straight off the bat. I don't really consider it a big deal and only disclose it if it's to a girl I could see being happy with. I feel they have the right to know before entering a long term relationship and wouldn't want them to think i'm either ashamed or have been lying to them.

Yeah - I completely understand that. Well, in that case it appears that you are doing everything right in that regard.

You are not saying it too early and you're being honest.

I think you're going to just have to wait it out. Like - you can't change who you are (as if you would want to). Not everyone will be as judgemental as these girls.

Again - your orientation is unfortunately plagued by stereotypes and there are people who will judge you on this.

I suppose the thing that matters here is how you deal with this. If you tell them and you get judged - well just think 'f*ck it. they're not worth it' and move on. Don't let it make you feel bad about yourself.

Does that help at all? I hope so. With this situation, there is nothing else to say but 'be who you are and the right person(s) will come along'. I know it sounds all very lame. But really, it's true... Unless you wanna live a lie... No? Didn't think so. And you're right too.;)

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I'm female and two of my last partners were bisexual. I actually prefer to date bisexual men because I find they are more open-minded (generally) and it really increases the types of fantasies when can talk about when having sex. So we are out there - you just have to know where to look!

As for the poster who says she prefers manly men - I think that's a very bigotted statement. One's sexuality has nothing to do with how manly you are. Are you suggesting, for example, that gay men are less manly than straight men? And sexual tourism??? OMG! Bisexuality just means you are attracted to both genders...it doesnt mean you are promiscuous and incapable of fidelity in a relationship (for that matter, just look at the number of straight men and women that cheat!).

OP, you're doing nothing wrong. Continue to be upfront and honest about your sexuality because you'll eventually find a woman who respects you and desires you for it.

LegacyUser

I don't find it offensive that people assume I'm some sort of mincing queen but I do think it's funny. You don't know me and your assumptions are totally incorrect.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

I’m 27, reasonably attractive (I’m told), quite successful and I’d like to think a gentleman. Meeting girls is never a problem, however, I’m totally unable to keep them because when I tell them I’m bi-sexual they find it a total turn off. I have never cheated on past partners and feel that most girls immediately dismiss me. This is not really a problem in Europe only here in Ireland. Any suggestions?

Hmm I see where this is a problem for you. UNfortunately I would not be comfortable dating a bi guy as (wrongly perhaps) there would always be the niggling doubt that he'd prefer to be with a guy/would maybe be comparing sex with sex with a guy / likewise relationaship comparisons. Its totally unfamiliar territory, and not easy to get around in my head. if I liked the guy enough, I'd try, but I honestly think those doubts would always be at the back of my mind. I don't really get how you can fancy both sexes, but thats my problem.

That said, I'm sure there are girls more open-minded out there, keep looking.

LegacyUser

Trí wrote: »

You have automatically assumed that he is not manly and is just doing this out of sexual greed.
It is NOT okay to assume that he is completely camp and choosing his sexuality.

Whoah! I did not assume anything, I asked a question! And I strongly object to the inference that I said he was choosing his sexuality, I did not and do not believe that to be the case. If you got that from sexual tourists then you misunderstood. Lets be 100% clear on that!

Also whats your appearance like?

IS a question not an assumption! and

If you are all over-coiffed

Thats "IF" -which is not assuming or stating as a fact, totally different!
The OP was looking for some feedback as to why he is alienating women and I was trying to give him some honest answers!

You are criticising his orientation by your sweeping generalisation of him being a 'sexual tourist'. Yes, it is possible to be attracted to both sexes. What's the problem?

HEY there, dont dare go putting words into my mouth that I did not say and do not feel. I was not criticising his orientation, I know well its possible to be attracted to both sexes I am not a stranger to bi-sexualism by any stretch of the imagination.

YOU are the one making wrong assumptions if anybody.

I offered a theory based on some hypothetical possibilities, you jumped to a few conclusions assuming I am some sort of bigot which I can assure you I am not.

As for sexual tourists, its an in joke I have with a bi friend of mine, no offence meant. Its probably the wrong forum for it.

LegacyUser

While I don't find some of the above posts offensive I do find them funny. Firstly I'm 100% man. Why would you assume otherwise when you don't know me? Hair products, designer clothes and facial hair do not add up to bisexuality. I'm afraid you're only showing your own ignorance with that point.

Xiney

Unregistered wrote: »

As for sexual tourists, its an in joke I have with a bi friend of mine, no offence meant. Its probably the wrong forum for it.

You're right - this isn't the forum for jokes.

Wurly

Unregistered wrote: »

Whoah! I did not assume anything, I asked a question! And I strongly object to the inference that I said he was choosing his sexuality, I did not and do not believe that to be the case. If you got that from sexual tourists then you misunderstood. Lets be 100% clear on that!



IS a question not an assumption! and



Thats "IF" -which is not assuming or stating as a fact, totally different!
The OP was looking for some feedback as to why he is alienating women and I was trying to give him some honest answers!



HEY there, dont dare go putting words into my mouth that I did not say and do not feel. I was not criticising his orientation, I know well its possible to be attracted to both sexes I am not a stranger to bi-sexualism by any stretch of the imagination.

YOU are the one making wrong assumptions if anybody.

I offered a theory based on some hypothetical possibilities, you jumped to a few conclusions assuming I am some sort of bigot which I can assure you I am not.

As for sexual tourists, its an in joke I have with a bi friend of mine, no offence meant. Its probably the wrong forum for it.

No worries. Re-read your post again. It was very strong. You called him a sexual tourist. Tourist would suggest 'touring'. In that he was 'touring' with his sexuality.

My post was based on the wording of your post and how strong it came across. If you don't want to be seen as a bigot, then maybe word what you want to say a bit differently.

I didn't 'dare' put words in your mouth. Please relax the cacks there a bit.

I make no apologies for my post. It WAS offensive. I was offended and it looks like I wasn't the only one.

Barracudaincork

Unregistered wrote: »

I’m 27, reasonably attractive (I’m told), quite successful and I’d like to think a gentleman. Meeting girls is never a problem, however, I’m totally unable to keep them because when I tell them I’m bi-sexual they find it a total turn off. I have never cheated on past partners and feel that most girls immediately dismiss me. This is not really a problem in Europe only here in Ireland. Any suggestions?

First things first, Ireland is in Europe, we are not a continent all by ourselves

Secondly, id say the reason women are not keen is that they have two lots of sexes to now feel jealous and insecure over.

None of how they react to you, is to do with you, its all to do with their own issues. Which in fairness stinks!

What can you do about it? Nothing as such, as you cant help how narrowminded people are, but you can get on with the dating scene and keep trying and you will find your Mr or Mrs right and as for the others Stuff em!

pikachucheeks

Unregistered wrote: »

I’m 27, reasonably attractive (I’m told), quite successful and I’d like to think a gentleman. Meeting girls is never a problem, however, I’m totally unable to keep them because when I tell them I’m bi-sexual they find it a total turn off. I have never cheated on past partners and feel that most girls immediately dismiss me. This is not really a problem in Europe only here in Ireland. Any suggestions?

I think when you find someone you'd like to get into a relationship with, when explaining you're bisexual, also dismiss the common misconceptions and stereotypes.

It's a shame you have to defend yourself, and your sexuality, but a lot of people do seem to be baffled by whole nature of being bisexual, especially regarding bisexual males.

Just let the person know that just because you like both sexes doesn't mean you'll cheat, be unfaithful, etc - it just means exactly that ; you are attracted to both sexes.

Barracudaincork wrote: »

id say the reason women are not keen is that they have two lots of sexes to now feel jealous and insecure over.

None of how they react to you, is to do with you, its all to do with their own issues...

I'd agree with this, actually! I think some women might be put off dating a bisexual because of insecurity - Wondering if you'll be checking out other guys, wondering if when you're with her, would you prefer to be with another guy - as well as wondering if you'd rather be with another girl!

I think this attitude stems from lack of knowledge. In general, Ireland is still quite a sexually closed place. People are seen as either gay or straight - the whole idea of being bisexual is still very much undiscussed and undiscovered.

Basically, if you're seeing a nice woman, and you feel the time is right to discuss your sexual orientation, tell her - and explain to her that just because you like both sexes, doesn't mean you'll be any worse of a boyfriend, or any more likely to cheat! and it doesn't mean she'll have to worry anymore than she would in any other relationship.

doncarlos

partyguinness wrote: »

That is a terrible stereotype and narrow view.

Probably, but who is to say that a lot of girls don't have the same view?

OP, why tell them at all? Fair enough if your about to get engaged or something but apart from that what business is it of theirs?

Bottle_of_Smoke

Maybe they know they'd feel really humiliated if you left them for a guy. I know you haven't cheated before but everyone has the potential to cheat.

I'm not sure if there's anything you can do, just wait on the person who doesn't feel threatened by it.

McGinty

Hi Op

Let me start by saying I really commend your honesty so you sound like a decent, nice man and for most women that is a good start. Whilst I concur you probably would be more open minded, etc regarding relationships and sex it would put me off. Having said that if I met you, really liked you for who you are I'd probably overlook it but I know too I would have insecurities and I would fear that if we were to make a committment such as marriage, would you want to eventually have sex with a man because you are missing out on that side of your life. I can't speak for other women but I know when I have met a man I would size him up for potential relationship material, I don't know if this is right or wrong but it is how I think, so I would have to ascertain would you be content to have heterosexual sex for the duration that we are together, which could lead to marriage/living together/having kids, now I know what I am saying is pretty heavy, but it is how I believe a lot of women think. You are right to be true to yourself and to be honest because you will meet the right woman. Incidentally I am bi-sexual myself but I am more drawn to men so I have chosen not to meet with women etc, so I can understand the complexity of one's sexuality. I wish you the very best of luck and again I really commend your honesty, at least you let a woman know where she stands, sadly, not many are going to be that open here, we've only just come out of the dark ages here in Ireland, heck condoms have only been legal since the early 90s, but good luck.

partyguinness

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

Maybe they know they'd feel really humiliated if you left them for a guy. I know you haven't cheated before but everyone has the potential to cheat.

I'm not sure if there's anything you can do, just wait on the person who doesn't feel threatened by it.

Are you saying that because he is bi that makes him more likely to cheat?

Nevyn

Ireland compared to nearly all of our fellow EU countires is woefully behind when it comes to sex and sexuality eduction. Biphoibia is pretty rampant here and people who are Bi are often discrimatinated by both hetrosexuals and homosexual alike.

Bisexual males tend to be less accepted then bisexual female but the same predjuices are faced by both.

OP congratlations on being happy with your sexuality and comfortable with who you are
unfortuntly not everyone else is that comfortable or that aware or secure when it comes to what it means to be bisexual and in a reltioanship with a person who is bisexual, there is a lot of lack of understanding out there.

But not every woman will react in that way on finding out that you are bisexual but you just have to keep your confidence up and keep looking.

kmick

Simple - dont tell them. Back when I first came to Dublin I met a lot of people who were 'Bi'. They had never been with a same sex partner but were happy to tell everyone within earshot how bi they were. I always thought to myself why are you telling me this but I was obviosuly a well mannered country boy so I said nothing.

Most people dont care what way you swing as long as you dont swing it near them if its unwelcome. There is an element of this going on with potential partners who you casually mention you are bi too.

shellyboo

kmick wrote: »

Most people dont care what way you swing as long as you dont swing it near them if its unwelcome. There is an element of this going on with potential partners who you casually mention you are bi too.

But the point is, why would he want to be with someone who thinks his sexuality is unwelcome? Would you want to go out with someone who objected to a fundamental aspect of your life, your personality, your sexuality? I don't think so.

LegacyUser

Hi OP

I just thought you'd appreciate knowing that as an Irish woman, when I first met my boyfriend he told me straight off that he was bisexual and I have to admit, I did wonder if it would influence how I saw him (other posters have mentioned thinking things like "Is he comparing the sex"- I remember wondering that!). I decided to give it a go however, and we've now been dating for 18 months, and it's one of the best relationships I've been in, he's a fantastic guy. I trust him completely, and I'm completely confident that it's me he wants and not any other guy or girl. I'm sorry that you're finding that Irish girls have a problem with your sexuality, all I can say to you is persevere, there are some of us out there that aren't so quick to dismiss potential!

smileykey

Don't keep it from them. If they can't accept you for who you are then forget about them. You're right to tell them straight away, and tbh I think they have a right to know. It wouldn't bother me either way but I would like to know from the onset, its an honesty/openess thing. And its good for you too, that way you won't be putting effort into a potential relationship with a woman who doesn't understand/doesn't want to understand you or a part of you.

Bottle_of_Smoke

partyguinness wrote: »

Are you saying that because he is bi that makes him more likely to cheat?

No. I was saying a girl might feel more humilated if her boyfriend cheated on them with a guy. That's not really in the equation with a straight guy

LegacyUser

Whats also interesting in this debate is the very anti-bisexual attitudes from the gay community. Been verbally abused by people in the past. Really angry and dismissive also. Funny old world.

MariMel

My apologies for hijacking this thread with this question.......
Can someone who is bi-sexual ever truely be happy in a long term monogamous relationship, like a marriage?

I ask because I am friends with a bi-sexual man, to all intents and purposes a very happily married man, (I also know them as a couple and believe them to be very good together) whoever his wife does not know that he meets another married man who;s wife aswell does not know of this side to her husband. (he has told me that his wife not know nor will she ever know)

Can someone who is bisexual or has had same sex experiences in the past genuinely decide not to have those experiences again? Isn;t it denying a fundamental part of their makeup?
Or is it as 'simple' as saying.....I love this person and am making a commitment to be faithful and mantain a monogamous realtionship and saying that they no longer wish to be with another person reagardless of gender?

Please forgive my ignorance on this matter and it is a genuine question and I hope I do not offend anyone by my asking.

cafecolour

It's a bit of a conundrum. A lot of girls won't date a 'bi' guy - essentially assuming they are really gay, and/or will eventually leave them for a guy. A lot of gay men won't date a bi guy (seriously date versus sleep with/**** buddy with), as they essentially assume they'll leave them for a woman eventually or are a closet case.

However, they are def some who know better - I have at least two female friends that seem to like to date bi guys.

Not a hard and fast rule, but I'd say women more from some subcultures (geek women, arty women, etc.) may be more open to it then your more mainstream clubber type.

Nevyn

MariMel wrote: »

My apologies for hijacking this thread with this question.......
Can someone who is bi-sexual ever truely be happy in a long term monogamous relationship, like a marriage?

Yes.

MariMel wrote: »

I ask because I am friends with a bi-sexual man, to all intents and purposes a very happily married man, (I also know them as a couple and believe them to be very good together) whoever his wife does not know that he meets another married man who;s wife aswell does not know of this side to her husband. (he has told me that his wife not know nor will she ever know)

That is a pretty shítty way to treat is wife imho.

MariMel wrote: »

Can someone who is bisexual or has had same sex experiences in the past genuinely decide not to have those experiences again?

Yes

MariMel wrote: »

Isn;t it denying a fundamental part of their makeup?

No.

MariMel wrote: »

Or is it as 'simple' as saying.....I love this person and am making a commitment to be faithful and mantain a monogamous realtionship and saying that they no longer wish to be with another person reagardless of gender?

Yes.

MariMel wrote: »

Please forgive my ignorance on this matter and it is a genuine question and I hope I do not offend anyone by my asking.

I'm not offended by it.

LegacyUser

It's precisely behaviour like that man cheating on his wife that made me start this thread. That is truly disgraceful behaviour that gives all men a bad name, regardless of their sexuality.

LegacyUser

2 questions.
Does the OP have similar experiences when he tries to pick up guys?

How do you know it's because you are bisexual and not just that they aren't into you?

LegacyUser

OP here. The answer to your question regarding picking up guys is more complicated. I don't ever see myself being in a relationship with a guy. Just me, not what I'm after. When it comes to emotional relationships I can only involve myself seriously with women. I do want kids and a family life someday. Although I have been shot down by guys in the past when they find out i'm bi and not gay. Also i've had girls tell me they love me in the past and then when i tell them i'm bi-sexual they apologise and say the can't be in a long term relationship with a bi-sexual man. So I don't think it's my personality.

Taltos

Unregistered wrote: »

I don't ever see myself being in a relationship with a guy. Just me, not what I'm after. When it comes to emotional relationships I can only involve myself seriously with women.

Unregistered wrote: »

Also i've had girls tell me they love me in the past and then when i tell them i'm bi-sexual they apologise and say the can't be in a long term relationship with a bi-sexual man.

Op - if the 2 quotes above are true then why would you even worry about telling a girl you are BI - most especially if you never see yourself as being in a relationship with a guy?

Is it a test or something that you feel you need to put your girlfriends through?

Seriously - it should be enough that you are in a relationship and happy without bringing up that you are attracted to other girls let alone other guys. I once mentioned to my oh that I was attracted to other girls - went down like a lead balloon.

So how are you expecting them to react to this and should you really instead be looking at your motivation in telling them?
It should be enough that they are in a monogomous relationship with you - no other parties involved or mentioned...

Nevyn

Just cos a person isn't interested in pursuing a relationship for what ever reason with one of the genders they are attracted to that doesn't mean they are not Bi and even that doesn't mean they still aren't attracted and won't look or be caught looking and for some of us we don't wish to be living our lives hiding that part of ourselves constantly worried that the person we are in a relationship with will catch us looking.

Taltos

Hi Th

Yup I get this and I am not by any stretch saying hide who you are - that is totally wrong.
I am just saying that maybe there is no need to spell it out for your o/h
People are perceptive and chances are they will know - hopefully they will be comfortable enough once they gain confidence in the relationship to question one about it - but as alot of the Irish are not too open minded this might put a bit of stress on the relationship too early into it.

I do think once you both have each others 100% trust there should be a chat - but as I said most folk are perceptive and will already know.

Sorry if I gave the impression that this was something to hide - it is not at all.
I was just trying to impress that when you are with someone - it is important for them to know in the early days that they are the center of your universe that is all

LegacyUser

I've actually found the opposite to be true. Girls don't seem very perceptive at all. Often they don't even believe me even when i tell them and think i'm taking the piss. I still think it's their right to know before they invest a large amount of time/emotion in their/our future.

Taltos

Wow - cause my oh tends to see right through me tbh.
Cannot hide anything.

I can understand and think it is great that you are being 100% open and honest with them - especially as you do not want to get hurt later.

Not sure what to advise now sorry.
1. Pick up girl and tell her all about yourself and have her tell you she is not interested
2. Spend some time getting to know the girl and letting her know about the real you before asking out - maybe this is not working so well
3. Go out with girl and wait a few weeks until it comes up - risk you will be called untrustworthy.

Talk about a lose-lose
I guess all I can suggest is maybe try to meet different types of girls. There have to be loads out there that are comfortable in their own sexuality not to feel threatened by this.
Seriously - would they have this kind of issue if you were to tell them you were attracted to one of their female friends???

So - yes it might be you - or it could just be the types of women you are currently attracting. Pity - I would have thought that your honest would be a plus not a minus.

Nevyn

Again it's the lack of education and awareness about differnt sexualities in this country.
Some women will spot it, I've cottoned on to a few guys who have never outted themselves to me in anyway having a very covert look at a handsome guy, we still react to and treat bi guys a lot shabbier then bi girls and tbh both get grief from the straight and gay communities and people.

shellyboo

Taltos wrote: »

Seriously - would they have this kind of issue if you were to tell them you were attracted to one of their female friends???

It's a completely different situation, Taltos. The OP is not telling them he fancies another man or a woman or anyboy, he's telling them he's bisexual; the same way you'd tell someone anything that's relevant to the relationship... like that you don't believe in sex before marriage, or you're allergic to latex...

It's not about fancying other people.

Taltos

shellyboo wrote: »

It's a completely different situation, Taltos. The OP is not telling them he fancies another man or a woman or anyboy, he's telling them he's bisexual; the same way you'd tell someone anything that's relevant to the relationship... like that you don't believe in sex before marriage, or you're allergic to latex...

It's not about fancying other people.

I get that Shellyboo and maybe it was just the language I used.
I was just trying to show that whether the op is attracted to a guy or a girl should not be a problem here.
He is choosing to be with one person - be they male or female.Back to Thae's point - I think it is just the people he has been choosing are maybe not educated enough or comfortable enough to see that he is choosing to be with them.
The only reason I had suggested not being totally honest at the beginning is that it might allow his partner to get to know him better - but I have to admit that then the whole dishonesty label destroys that anyway, which I commented on later in this thread.

At this stage I was just trying to give the OP some suggestions on how to get past this - think his best bet now is to try to expand his circle a bit to meet different people - hopefully there he will meet someone who will love him and accept him for who he is.

OP - on a sep note - a guy I used to work with is Bi and he is now happily married and now living in the states. So don't give up and don't let folk get you down about yourself.

LegacyUser

OP here. Thanks for these positive post guys. And I find your friends story very encouraging Taltos. Hopefully one day I'll be lucky enough to have the same good
fortune.