grr......

LegacyUser

ok i dont really know what to say.. im feeling a bit down.. i feel iv missed the opportunity to have fun and from here on in it will be all serious even though i am only just gone 21 since october...

i was in college at sixteen and had two degrees in June 2008.. was in a long term relationship for most of college and hence didnt REALLY exprience the college life...dont get me wrong i did go out loads just didnt have the whole living away from home whole independent life business going on..

anyway i finished college last june and last october got my first four fe1 exams and did the second four this april which didnt go too well lets just say i am expecting to have to repeat them..at first i was a bit bummed but then i kind of perked up and realised feck it thats life and you cant take it too seriously and plus with this economy even if i did pass them id never get to college this september anyhow as no solicitor is going to take on an apprentice in these times... so that perked me up about that...

then...really long and complicated story cut short...i was no longer content in my relationship realising i wasn't fulfilling any of my dreams to travel have fun etc while your young...we are only broke up two months if even so im still not fully over my downer period but im getting there i know a boyfriend isnt the be all and end all...

so then i went and decided to go to america for the summer and because i finished my degree last june i cannot qualify for the j1..im depressed as i could never do this when i was in college because forts of all the thought never crossed my mind and second of all i wasnt 21..and the girl i was travelling with wont go to new zealand for the summer even though it will cost the exact same amount she just wont go even though she wont go to usa witout me...so then i decided ok ill go to america basically on a two month holiday..she can get the visa and work. i had planned on getting 2 grand as spending money for going which would translate into 2700 us dollars and over 8 weeks that would give me 330each week to live off and we were meeting up with college friends of hers and they had an apartment with tonnes of people living in it for 40 dollars a week and that woulda been sound id have been able to live off 290 dollars a week defo..then she decided she wasnt bothered really because she still madly in love with her boyfriend who broke up with her over two months ago and she is afraid of what he would think of her going even though it was her idea to go in the first place...

so now im just depressed... i cant go anywhere next summer because hopefully i will defo have gotten all of the fe1s by then and be looking for an apprenticeship for college next october and ill have to be working on it all next summer to ensure i have it secured for college in october...and the worst thing is it could come next october and i could still have no apprenticeship and have wasted a whole year at home again...

so basically i feel as though it has all pased me by...and i know how ludicrous this all sounds especially given i am only 21 years of age..but this is just the way i feel and i have no hope for fun in the future other than the routine out every weekend getting sloshed etc bla bla...

i dont really know what i want people to say...i know im being silly and i have all my life before me...but i cant help but want to get college out of the way next year!!! i know i could just take off now for a year and spend a bomb of money traveling and come back absolutely up to my eyes in debt but then i would also want to go to college but blackhall place isnt state funded its private so all fees are payable by me...thousands and thousands of euro not including the bloody cost of renting in dublin for the years ill be there..so the sensible side of me is like no you couldnt possibly go away and have fun but the spontaneous side wants to just get out of here and have an experience... i dont bloody know!!!

ellie1

Go to the us with your 2000 euro and stay with her mates. A friend of mine was 21 and was supposed to go travelling with a group but they all dropped out. She went and stayed with one of the groups friends and had a blast..she said it was the scariest thing she ever did but the best.. she came back very independant and confident..

LegacyUser

So your issue is that you're very young, well educated, many friends, have experienced relationships and have money to go on trips to America and NZ if you want? What's to feel down about?

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

So your issue is that you're very young, well educated, many friends, have experienced relationships and have money to go on trips to America and NZ if you want? What's to feel down about?

ah that i dont feel as though i have the time to go have fun because the other side of my personality knows i should just stay here and finish my education...

id be borrowing the money on top of a 5000 euro loan..

i dont know..i know im being ridiculous! think im looking for someone to tell me that im being silly i have all my life ahead of me to concentrate on college and to have fun now!! because i cant convince myself to do it...my father isnt being pushy about college but i know hed love for me to go and do it now!!

to go on my own to people i only met a few times i dont know if id have the neck to do that!! it sounds cool and fun though!! my parents would look at me as though i have ten heads!

thanks for the replies guys!!

smemon

pfffft...

21? this is the sort of thing you should be saying to yourself in 10 years time when you have a partner, child, mortgage etc...

Now is not the time to be reminiscing and reflecting on missed opportunities. Doesn't matter what you do, just do something rather than thinking about loads of things, then doing nothing

I think about things like this myself but i'm just happy to be alive and have a roof over my head Throwing myself out of a plane this summer too which is one of those things i can cross off the 'list of things do do before i die' list

Chillax You still have about 75% of your life left.

Orion

I'd spend the 2 grand on punctuation lessons. I believe Blackhall Place insists on legal documents being very precise - they even insist on capital letters occasionally and they're absolutely anal about apostrophes!

Nevyn

Macros42 Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

Overheal

i cant go anywhere next summer because hopefully i will defo have gotten all of the fe1s by then and be looking for an apprenticeship for college next october and ill have to be working on it all next summer to ensure i have it secured for college in october...and the worst thing is it could come next october and i could still have no apprenticeship and have wasted a whole year at home again...

You mean this year, 2009 right, not 2010? You people always drove me crazy with that fupping vernacular.

Its totally reasonable to be bummed now that your summer plans have been swept from under your feet. But realistically you need not be stopped by your friend. Different for a girl I suppose. But my cousin (22) just recently got in his car for and drove down through central america for the heck of it. Spent 6 weeks down there on whatever funds he mustered and took some amazing photos. I would have joined him but I just don't enjoy that same freedom right now. Not something to get too hung up on. Your time will come.

As for this apprenticeship business and if you dont have one for the next year, doesnt that potentially rip open a very huge opening in your schedule to pull off a sabbatical? Something to think about. Instead of doing an all or nothing this summer why dont you save the majority of your travel fund and go do something a bit shorter-span this summer: try 2-3 weeks instead of 2 months. Thats plenty of time to blow off steam, see new shyte, and still have money left over (lucky sod) to do something else in the winter or next spring, and would be able to see multiple destinations. And you would still have time to prepare for all your acedemicy whatsits.