Things have passed me by

LegacyUser

I'm in my late 20's and I feel as though I've let so much pass me by.
I've been offered college places 5 times since finishing school and have refused them all. I didn't feel interested in them and was too busy enjoying myself.
Now I'm a few years off 30, living at home, no work, people my age are engaged or settling down.
I feel like i've let great chances fall through my fingers.
I started to get my act together in the past while and last year and this year I got application forms for college in Dublin, something I'd love. But I was in a long term relationship, living together and thought we were going somewhere so I shelved applying.
We split up recently and now it's just made my regrets and anger even stronger.
I feel as though having to wait another year for applying is just too much, as I'd love to be focusing on my career and getting out there now.
I know this isn't much compared with how hard some people have things but I just needed to get it out there!

Kidchameleon

Hi,

I would say that it is never too late to get yourself sorted. Theres no point sitting around, thinking 'ive wasted my life', get out there, get educated, age doesent matter. I know some very successful people who only started learning at 40!!!!

Good Luck.

sunnyside

Unregistered wrote: »

Now I'm a few years off 30,!

You can still have it all by the time you are 30, might require a few years hard work to balance out the years spent paryting but it's hardly impossible.

Sounds as if life was easy up until now, but often the things that are worth having like education require hard work.

Good luck.

Wurly

You are young. In your late twenties - things have NOT passed you by.

You made decisions that were right for you at the time. You cannot regret this. Besides regrets not changing anything, they will stunt you from moving forward.

Figure out what you want to do and go for it. Things will most definitely pass you by if you wallow in the past.

You get one crack at this life. Everything you have done so far has led you to this point. You are at a crossroads. Choose your path and stick with it.

None of us are here forever. Have fun, see a bit of the world and do whatever it is that makes you happy.

Lastly - do not judge your own life on what others are doing. So what if x is engaged or y has bought a house. Everyone has their cross to bear. It may look like everyone else has it sorted but I can assure you, almost no-one feels that way about their life.

Get out there and do it. Life's too short for regrets.

Handsome Bob

We can always start over OP, no matter the age we're at (there are quite a few silver haired students doing the rounds these days so thirty is nothing!).

I think you need to be brave enough to commit the next few years to further education. Sure, it will be three more years minimum at home but what are three years compared to the rest of your life? Every one derserves a shot at third level education, don't sell yourself short OP just because of hang ups about your age. And remember, if you do take on a course there will be plenty of people in the same boat as you, so there is nothing to fear.

LegacyUser

Gosh, thanks so much for those positive replies. I'm just so used to kicking myself, I forgot how nice some positive thinking can be

I suppose another year isn't long to wait. Perhaps I could get experience to help me figure out what to do?

And I know things could be worse...so thanks

Handsome Bob

Unregistered wrote: »

Gosh, thanks so much for those positive replies. I'm just so used to kicking myself, I forgot how nice some positive thinking can be

I suppose another year isn't long to wait. Perhaps I could get experience to help me figure out what to do?

And I know things could be worse...so thanks

Hey OP, that may not be a bad thing at all. So many people go into Uni and into a course they haven't fully thought about. For a lot of people the course turns out to be nothing like what they expected and they then drop out. Take this year to think about it, it's a big decision and I'm sure you want to get it right first time around.

Agent J

Ever here the "Sunscreen Song" by Baz lurmann? Its from 1999. I suggest you go and legally download a copy from a reputable site....

There is a great line in it.

"Don't waste your time on jealously.. Sometimes you are ahead, something you arent. The race is long and ultimately it is only with yourself".

I know its hard to see all this going on around you and wondering why you arent doing likewise.
If you feel like things are passing you by then you have a choice about what happens next. You cant undo the last few years but you can choose to make the best of the next few.

I'm in my mid twenties(Gods i feel old just saying that... *wait to be berated by older people*) and i failed out of college. Twice. Not only did i pick the wrong course i repeated a failed year.
Its 4 years later and i have a pretty decent interesting(Not to mention stressful) job, Almost finished my 2nd College diploma, picked up a few certificates as well and have half the work done for 3 seperate degrees in different areas. I've done it very piecemeal, doing night courses as certs, then turning them into diplomas and maybe in future into degrees so i have a out point along the way.

But here is the thing. They dont really mean that much but they help.

lehcar

I went to college straight out of secondary. Academically, it was a total waste of time--the last lecture I attended was half-way thru first year. The degree was useful in getting a better job and salary afterwards, but that's all it was worth--definitely bad ROI on 3 years invested. However, college was a great social education for me [only child, rural Catholic upbringing and boys-only school], which was very valuable.

So OP, you're fine. If any degree course had really grabbed you, you'd probably have gone for it. You didn't make the mistake of going for one "just because", like I and many others did. On that note, be wary of going to college "just because" you feel you should--if you don't see a clear benefit, think hard.

People who grow thru life usually make a significant change around 30. It might be to knuckle down to climbing the corp ladder, or easing back to start a family, or returning to work after getting kids to school age, or emigrating to see the world, or or or... For example, by 36, I had walked away from both my marriage and full-time employment. At that stage, you should have ceased fulfilling family and society expectations of you, and started to drive for what you yourself want.

It doesn't stop there either [does it ever stop?]. After people have done the 30s thing, further growth leads to further questioning. So you've climbed the ladder, or raised the kids--now what? The saying "life begins at 40" is based on this, that it's only after going thru the earlier stages that we become free to discover what's really in our hearts. Do you really want to be VP of Communications, or mess around in a fishing boat? Check out an old 70s book "Passages" by Gail Sheehy for perspective on this.

The point of all that is to reinforce my earlier comment. Be careful about investing 3-6 years of your life, when you may only get a decade's return on the investment. Agent J has another approach, which doesn't put his life on hold but still pursues his current 'improvement' wants with a nice degree of flexibility.

Good luck

killeoin

Hi Op,

Just being practical here but there are plenty of courses you can take up for next year...granted you may have missed the CAO deadline to head back for a degree course via that route next year but the amount of night courses available is huge. Just run a simple google search on what interests you in your area and take it from there? It might be a good idea to give you a taste of whether you feel you would be able to make the commitment to a longer term course. If you have a particular course in mind (aka in Dublin as your post indicates) then I suggest you contact the disability office of that college as they also cater for mature students under that umbrella and explain your situation to them...A late application might be possible?