Finding life difficult..

LegacyUser

ok not sure where to start really, (sorry for the rant)

I have just finished my degree and I am 22 years of age. I have always suffered from low self esteem (some say depression, but i guess i have never been diagnosed), this included a suicide attempt at 13 in which i was hospitalized. However, suicide is not something that I would ever consider now as I really have seen the consequences. Anyways, have always been a bit of an outsider, was in an abusive relationship for three years which took away a lot of confidence.

I am currently with my new boyfriend three years, he is absolutely wonderful and my best friend too. I couldnt imagine my life without him. But he is right, and I need professional help. i suffer from panic attacks, I cant take a bus for fear of being alone with crowds of people. I can only go out to night clubs etc when I have been drinking as I then feel that I can face people. I get very down and sometimes find it hard to have the motivation to get out of bed. I hate feeling sorry for myself and I end up getting more frustrated at myself and to be honest I just want to pull my hair out. My weight is a huge issue, it fluctuates all the time, actually making me over weight. Either I will go for a number of months, exercising and barely eating anything, to feeling so insecure that the only way I can comfort myself is to eat so much that I actually feel sick.

Im sorry if I have been ranting, but basically I was wondering if anyone has ever experienced something like this? I am not crazy about the idea of going to see a councilor but would be interested in maybe doing online counciling. I hope someone can advise me as any advice at all is greatly appreciated.

Quazzie

Going to see a counciller os one of the hardest decisions any person can make. No one like the idea of talking about how they feel to a total stranger, but sometimes it really can help. Sometimes just talking about something is enough to relieve the pressure you feel because of it. I bet you feel better that you even typed that post.

Weight fluctutations and depression are heavily linked, and in such cases one generally leads to the other. Depression is a serious threat and not one to be taken lightly. I'd recommend booking a session with a counceller and see how it goes, and remember there is no obligation to stick with a counceller you don't feel comfortable with.

Agent J

Well take something positive from the post you just made.

You've accepted you need outside help.

That in and of itself it a big admission to make to oneself and you should be proud of it.

Dont nesscarily dismiss the idea of seeing a councillor in person. I know it can seem very off putting but there are decent ones out there who can help. Its there job to deal with people who dont really want to talk to them in the 1st place.

Id agree with the previous poster and shop around when it comes to counsillors. Give them a try once and if you dont like them then move on to another. Dont let a negative experience with one tarnish your image of all of them.


And yeah. Panic attacks arent fun.

lehcar

I wonder could you bring along your boyfriend to an initial councilling session? Dunno if it's allowed or recommended, but strikes me it could be useful for all--moral support for you, and if he was to facillitate discussion with you, a useful ice-breaker for you and the councillor. Just for the first 1-2 sessions.

Just a thought, good luck

tbh

out of interest, OP, if you broke your leg, would you try an see an online doctor?

LegacyUser

No TBH, If i broke my leg i wouldnt go see an online doctor. But at 13 I had two very bad experiences with councillors and thats my reason for one wanting to go to one. Also when you have panic attacks its very hard to come face to face with someone

lostandlonely

The fact you have acknowledged the fact you need councelling is a major step for you. You are on the verge of changing your life

My ex has problems something similar to to you Have a look at my post.
She said a few times she needed councelling but never took those first steps I know in my heart and soul if she got the professional help she needs it would turn her life around as shes a great girl with great potential.

so dont hold back Contact your GP he or she might be able to recommend a good councellor or at least point you in the right direction

Always remember the longest journey starts with small steps Good Luck