Should I write my dad a letter?

shakenbake

My dad's been pretty sick over the last two years and his quality of life is increasingly diminishing by day. It has diminished quite rapidly over the last few months. Right now he's a fragment of his former self. Cancer is picking him off like a sniper looking for any angle it can get on him. After having his prostate and bladder removed recently we learned tonight that it's in his bones now. He hasn't been told yet but the outlook isn't good.

When I learned he was re-admitted to hospital on Friday I thought, is there anything I need to say to this man that I might regret not saying at some point. I instantly wanted to tell him I loved him and let him know what a fantastic father he's been and that he'll always be a powerful influence in my life. To be honest, I'm an emotional fish and couldn't say half it without breaking down and don't want to do it in a ward.

It might seem like a silly question but should I write it down and give it to him? I don't want him to think that I've given up on his chances of recovery and I don't want to feel like I'm indulging myself and trying to appease my conscience without regard for his.

What do you think?

PirateShampoo

Yes, if you dont you will always regret it.

And im speaking from experiance.

Nervous Wreck

PirateShampoo wrote: »

Yes, if you dont you will always regret it.

+Infinity.


Write the letter, OP. It'll do you and your father the world of good.

Genghiz Cohen

Go and see him, bring the letter, if you find you can't say something, tell him why and give him the letter, if you can get how you feel out there it would be much better for both of you. Letters can be so distant by comparison.
Try your best, but never leave something unsaid, you will never stop regretting it.

tommmy1979

Go in and tell him you love him..

I'm also speaking from experience..

3 experiences to be exact..

I chickened out the first time (my Dad)..

I was too late the 2nd time (my Mum)...

I did it the 3rd time and felt better for it (My Gran)..

Eve_Dublin

I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad, OP...my heart goes out to you.

You should definitely tell your dad how your feeling or you will regret it. I managed to tell my mother at the very last minute that I loved her as she was being carried out of the house after a stroke. It was the last thing I ever said to her before she passed away 2 weeks later and it's such a comfort to know, even after all these years, that she knew this before she passed away, even if she knew it already.

I'm like yourself, an absolute emotional fish and I would find it hard to hold it together but really, so what? It will be upsetting for both of you but there's NOTHING wrong with showing your emotions and particularly during a time like this. Let it ALL out instead of bottling it up and it will help your grieving process in the future, I promise.

As another poster said, have the letter as a back up if you really find it all too upsetting.

c4cat

shakenbake wrote: »

My dad's been pretty sick over the last two years and his quality of life is increasingly diminishing by day. It has diminished quite rapidly over the last few months. Right now he's a fragment of his former self. Cancer is picking him off like a sniper looking for any angle it can get on him. After having his prostate and bladder removed recently we learned tonight that it's in his bones now. He hasn't been told yet but the outlook isn't good.

When I learned he was re-admitted to hospital on Friday I thought, is there anything I need to say to this man that I might regret not saying at some point. I instantly wanted to tell him I loved him and let him know what a fantastic father he's been and that he'll always be a powerful influence in my life. To be honest, I'm an emotional fish and couldn't say half it without breaking down and don't want to do it in a ward.

It might seem like a silly question but should I write it down and give it to him? I don't want him to think that I've given up on his chances of recovery and I don't want to feel like I'm indulging myself and trying to appease my conscience without regard for his.

What do you think?

TELL HIM, its the best you can do for both of you, and its natural to be emotional, its called being a human being............don't be afraid.

mr_edge_to_you

A letter is amazing!

A good old fashioned hand written letter is never a bad idea. It shows that you put thought into everything you say. I'm sure your Dad will appreciate the effort it requires to write such a letter. It also ensures that you can plan what you want to say and you're less likely to leave anything out that is important for you to say!

Best of luck! Won't be easy but you'll have no regrets and I'm sure it'll make your Dad proud!

D.

CDfm

What a lovely thought.

We dont tell those we love it enough. Im sure he would love to see you though.

pmg007

Enclose the letter in a nice get well or thinking of you etc type card as a 'letter' as such may seem slightly out of place but a card is different.

LegacyUser

Tell him and hug him and cry with him.......he's not stupid and knows how serious things are and some wonderful TLC from you will lift his spirits, if you start crying explain how you love him so much and are worried about him. If you're concerned about the public ward pull the curtains around the bed and big deal if others hear, they'll wish that they had someone as loving as you visiting them. My Dad had a stroke a few years ago and I had the pleasure of being able to tell him everything I felt about him......he survived and to this day I'm always thankful I had the opportunity to be so open with him.
Finally, my heart goes out to your Dad and may you have the strength for the coming weeks ahead!