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I'm not a 'bad' person, but...

  • 24-05-2009 2:25pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Over the past year, I've become increasingly close to my friend Dan who I went out with 2 years ago (we were 16 and it lasted for a month, so it was nothing serious). We stopped going out because he wanted to go out with my friend Sarah who I grew up with. Of course at this time, this month-long relationship was the most important thing in my life so when it turned out badly I basically stopped hanging around with Dan and Sarah. They continued to go out for a year until they reached a bitter break-up and haven't really been on speaking terms since then. Since their break-up a year ago, I've become great friends with Dan again and on occassion there've been times that we ended up together after a night out or whatever.

    Lately though, I've been seeing more and more of my old friend Sarah and as she's coming back into my life, I'm struggling to see where my loyalties lie. Should I tell her that something's happened with me and Dan the odd time..? I know this is what they call breaking 'girl code' but does that really exist outside american chick flicks? Dan thinks it'd just cause unnecessary drama so we should just put it behind us.. but she keeps telling me what an amazing friend I am and how sorry she is for driving us apart and the guilt is just building up. I'd like to tell her but I'm afraid it'd only be for me- to ease my own conscience. I think her finding out would just drive us apart again and that's not something I want either. Basically I think my question is, how important is the truth in this case? Do I owe her this..?


    Sorry if this was a mouthfull. Thanks for any advice given..:)


Comments

  • #2
    Nervous Wreck
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,115 ✭✭✭✭Nervous Wreck


    If you and Dan are finished as well, there's no need to even think about the whole thing, let alone blurt it out to your friend.

    If you're still having the occasional whatever, it might be prudent to bring it up with her before someone else does.

    Either way, wouldn't feel guilty about it myself. Doesn't seem like she felt much remorse at the time of stealing your boyfriend. Older and wiser, you all may be but there'll come a point when you'll realise that she and he weren't all that serious anyway, given the fact that they had a 'bitter breakup' and he's now kissing you the odd time.

    Basically, don't stress yourself. Even if this girl stops being your friend, it's not like it'll be the first time. And you survived last time anyway.


  • #3
    i-digress
    Closed Accounts Posts: 692 ✭✭✭i-digress


    Nervous Wreck is right. It was a messy situation, you both did things in the past, if I were you I'd move on. You're building a more mature friendship than you previously had, if the relationship means something to you I'd keep schtum. I think you'd hurt her and yourself unneccesarily if you told her.


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