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The Ex Issues

  • 22-05-2009 11:22pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Ok here we go.........My boyfriend and one of his ex girlfriends have been texting eachother since we got together a couple of years ago, he also texted this ex throughout the relationship before me. Now, I have never liked this and he knows that but, it was one of those things i lived with. But, a few weeks ago he told her that it was best if they stopped talking to each other and deleted each others contact details, now i don't know why this sudden turn around came about and I only found this out durning an argument we were having. Although, i did notice the week he did this he was very cold with me and very strange and quite but, i didnt think anything of it at the time. But, when he was telling me the last night about this he appeared very upset about how he had made a friend who he had known waaay longer than me cry. But, how bout all the times he made me cry over him talking to her? My view is an ex is an ex and they should be kept at a distance when you are in a different relationship. My boyfriend says he doesn't have feelings for her anymore or anything so am i reading too much into him being so upset about cutting contact with her?
    This girl was his first major love, his first serious relationship and it was very intense between them and in a way I'm extremely threatened by this and the fact that i can never be the same. I dunno if im making a big deal out of nothing but i would greatly appreciate if anyone has any views on my rather pathetic thread ;)


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Well you are not pathetic. You did not force him to delelete her number.

    I have the same issue - though it is several exes he keeps in touch with plus other female friends. I've been in situations for example were one once texted while we were in bed (just cuddling of a morning) and he's replied. How special did that make me feel? Not much - suddenly another woman in bed with us in my head. I've become mistrusting because I know he's texted others before we were serious.

    What I've tried to say to him is that it is not healthy to have this contact with so many women from the past, to me it is an indication of not moving on - and if that is so how can he fully be with me. All I've asked is that he not go on about them so much in front of me. I don't think he can let go of all this attention to be honest no matter what bull**** you dress it up with. When I ask him to just ease off the odd time he gets angry and throws it back at me and says something I find insulting to me. The issues are more around how he speaks to me and treats me over this rather than the girls themselves.

    I've decided I need a break from that. I don't feel very important to him & I don't like the way he reacts to me and have told him.

    Don't beat yourself up. You are not alone in how you feel and your feeling are valid.
    Everyone has a different angle on this but just remember your feelings are valid, even if your boyfriend does not feel the same he should acknowledge and respect your feelings and if he doesn't and tries to make you feel bad he does not deserve you.


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