Hug me :-)

LegacyUser

I don't really know what I want from this post, but I have nobody to talk to.

30 year old female, unemployed, no direction, no interests, no confidence. I am absolutely broke (in fact I owe my parents money). In short, after 3 decades on this earth, I have nothing. I have wandered into and out of college courses, managed to scrape a miserable degree (not through lack of ability or laziness, just unable to study). No boyfriend (probably cos I am as beautiful as someone who has just been hit by a lorry, and weigh about the same as aforementioned lorry).

I am not wallowing, not self-pity, just telling it as it is. I can't imagine it would be possible to have lachieved less in 30 years. I feel say, lonely and empty.

Is it possible to drag yourself from the deepest depths and actually have a normal life?

Nevyn

Yes it is, but you have to want it bad enough to invest time and effort in yourself and make it work.

dudara

I agree with Thaed here. You will have to want something to change and have a positive image of the desired change.

Broad

Well you have invested time and effort in getting your degree, which is more than most and you are online looking for company of a sort which is also a good thing. But the previous posters are right, you do need some kind of aspiration or plan or something. And effort is involved in getting yourself out of hole if that is what you think you are in. You must be interested in SOMETHING! Find it, pursue it, join a club about it, whatever. It is all up to oneself in the end. But if you feel truly lonely and hopeless and that there is no hope for yourself you may be a bit depressed and there is no harn in having a word with your GP. Best of luck.

Broad

And incidentally understand the lorry bit. Really

Rebelheart

Unregistered wrote: »

I don't really know what I want from this post, but I have nobody to talk to.

30 year old female, unemployed, no direction, no interests, no confidence. I am absolutely broke (in fact I owe my parents money). In short, after 3 decades on this earth, I have nothing. I have wandered into and out of college courses, managed to scrape a miserable degree (not through lack of ability or laziness, just unable to study). No boyfriend (probably cos I am as beautiful as someone who has just been hit by a lorry, and weigh about the same as aforementioned lorry).

I am not wallowing, not self-pity, just telling it as it is. I can't imagine it would be possible to have lachieved less in 30 years. I feel say, lonely and empty.

Is it possible to drag yourself from the deepest depths and actually have a normal life?

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Hugggggg}}}}}}}}}}}}}
[Girls are divils altogether for hugs.]

I take from all of the above that you have a great challenge ahead to improve yourself. If you're going around the place looking like a lorry/beached whale etc well then at least you have a project to work on. You have the ability to improve yourself. That is a great thing; you are living more, fighting more and winning more every day. It is up to you whether you rise to this occasion yourself, or whether you stay in the safety (albeit discontentment) of your current disposition.

You, and you alone, have the power to change it. Now, I'm no Mel Gibson myself - the tide wouldn't take me out, as the fella says - but I've lost close on 20kg in the past 5 months and I have another 15kg to go. It is hard, but challenge makes you live a bit more and know yourself a bit more. I'm miserable and I hate all these happy people going out drinking and partying. But I'm practically walking on air in terms of how I feel with this weight off me. It's an amazing feeling. In short, the self-sacrifice and self-denial has consolations that are well worth remaining strong for. As for your current impecunious state, I saved, and am saving, a fortune by eating and drinking less. And your debt - who doesn't owe their parents money?! That is what they are there for, God love the poor creaturs.:)

PS: All this relationship stuff is hugely overrated! Trust me on this. Enjoy your freedom while you have it. Sort yourself out first and then you will have more to offer, and you will expect much more in a relationship. Don't sell yourself short. Stay free until you feel you are stronger and when you want an auld hug just come back to us and we'll all give ya a group hug. Beir bua!

seacláid-te

Set your self realistic goals!! Have faith and believe in yourself...and anything is possible!! Best of luck

Karen_*

It definately possible to have acheived less OP, anyone can change things if they really want to. You just have to do it one day at a time. Start by banishing all the negative thoughts about yourself, just refuse to listen to that little voice and have some positive affirmations about yourself. There have to be some. Are you a very good friend? Good at anything? A very kind person? Is your hair looking fabulous today? Cheerlead yourself and be disciplined about doing it

Write down all the things you'd like to change and make some goals. For example 'I will have lost two lbs in two weeks'. 'I will become good with money and am going to open a savings account today'. Only you can change things, don't sit around waiting for something good to happen to you. Good things will happen when you're coming out to meet them halfway. Above all don't give up.

StormWarrior

If you aren't interested in anything at all maybe you're suffering from depression?

RiderOnTheStorm

*hug*

.....if you dont ask, you dont get.

LegacyUser

OP here

Thanks to you all for your replies. And thanks RiderOnTheStorm and Rebelheart for the hugs...ridiculous really but they were nice :-)

I think my main problem is that I don't believe I'm good at anything (and I don't have any evidence to suggest my belief is unfounded)

Anyway, I suppose when you reach the bottom, the only way is up.

Thanks again for taking the time to reply to someone you don't know. It does mean something to me.

sunnyside

Ask for help and take all the help you can get to improve things. There's a scheme called the GP exercise referral programme operating in some gyms. Contact the health promotion unit of your local health board about it. Your GP has to refer you to it but if you are overweight they will but you have to ask.

A FAS course, even a part time one would give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Learn something like driving to help improve you standard of living. Buy some self-help books, don't spend too many hours on the internet. Ask your parents to help again.

Oh The Humanity

Hey OP,
Also by your post you are somewhat self-critical, even though you are also self-depreciating enough to raise a giggle!

So you sound like you can make people laugh now and then at least, that in itself is a talent. You have things going for you but you have also had a hard run of it. Half the country is hopeless, depressed, and a little bit chunky! You are DEFINITELY not alone there!

If the weight is getting you down, try weight watchers. They are good. It just feels a small weight off your mind to do something about it anyway.

Forget about boyfriends for the moment, people will tell you all those fecking cliches 'oh you will find someone when you least expect it' and 'there is someone for everyone' and 'whats for you wont pass you by' and all the rest. God I wanted to vomit every time I heard that when I was single!!!!

I wish I had an answer for you about that all I can say is keep going. You think you are doing bad, but who are you comparing yourself to?
People who 'have it all' -the goodlooking one with the perfect husband and kids, degrees comming out her a$$ and a 'great job'

Yes, we all compare ourselves to her, but she is probably going out of her mind with trying to keep all those balls in the air and can never ever stop and the 'To Do' list for her just never ends. So yes people have achieved more in their lives but at a cost.

Dont just compare up either, compare down....you are not living on the streets, your mind is sound, yes you are down but who wouldn't be! You are smart enough to get a degree!

I think you need to replace all those criticisms you make of yourself with some positive stuff. Its hard I know! But sometimes it gets so automatic you dont even know you are doing it.

You are worth so much, stop putting yourself down and giving yourself a hard time!

And finally {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

aare

Your wish is my command...

***MASSIVE HUGS***

Rebelheart said it all (and I be he looks a GREAT deal better than Mel Gibson on his best day on the inside...:) - and when those 15kgs go...who knows?;)).

You truly need to be your own makeover program.

I know it's superficial, but but your appearance is a powerful "mood altering" drug and you seem to need a massive dose of the REALLY good stuff right now.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

I don't really know what I want from this post, but I have nobody to talk to.

30 year old female, unemployed, no direction, no interests, no confidence. I am absolutely broke (in fact I owe my parents money). In short, after 3 decades on this earth, I have nothing. I have wandered into and out of college courses, managed to scrape a miserable degree (not through lack of ability or laziness, just unable to study). No boyfriend (probably cos I am as beautiful as someone who has just been hit by a lorry, and weigh about the same as aforementioned lorry).

I am not wallowing, not self-pity, just telling it as it is. I can't imagine it would be possible to have lachieved less in 30 years. I feel say, lonely and empty.

Is it possible to drag yourself from the deepest depths and actually have a normal life?

Hi Op,

Its totally posible, i did it and i am flying now, i was in the complete depths of despair, i wanted to end it all, but i gave myself a chance first through therapy and it worked.

Firstly you have to see your true beauty, there is nothing more attractive than a strong confident woman, shape size and beauty does not come into that, it is your self esteem that needs work and that can be aquired, get the book 'the secret' it is great for learning how to put positivity out into the universe so you can get it back, but it only happens when you can really appreciate yourself and everything that you have,

I saw on Oprah the other day where a beautiful spanish girl had been hit by a drunk driver and she had nearly burnt to death, she is completly burnt all over and looks so different, she was described as an amazing spiritual teacher, she could find a way to get up every day and live and she did no matter how hard it was for her, Everyone could see her beauty and grace it was such a beautiful experience to witness, It changed my view on everything i thought i did not have.

I am not saying this to diminish your pain because it is real and has to be acknowledged and supported, but if you start to view life for all that you have i promise your life will change, I bless everything i have now and write it down as much as i can, i swear my life has been blessed over and over since, it is the law of attraction, what you put out you get back.

I went from poor, unhealthy unconfident overweight woman to rich, healthy confident slender woman in the space of a year!

Desire ask believe receive!

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi Op,

Its totally posible, i did it and i am flying now, i was in the complete depths of despair, i wanted to end it all, but i gave myself a chance first through therapy and it worked.

Firstly you have to see your true beauty, there is nothing more attractive than a strong confident woman, shape size and beauty does not come into that, it is your self esteem that needs work and that can be aquired, get the book 'the secret' it is great for learning how to put positivity out into the universe so you can get it back, but it only happens when you can really appreciate yourself and everything that you have,

I saw on Oprah the other day where a beautiful spanish girl had been hit by a drunk driver and she had nearly burnt to death, she is completly burnt all over and looks so different, she was described as an amazing spiritual teacher, she could find a way to get up every day and live and she did no matter how hard it was for her, Everyone could see her beauty and grace it was such a beautiful experience to witness, It changed my view on everything i thought i did not have.

I am not saying this to diminish your pain because it is real and has to be acknowledged and supported, but if you start to view life for all that you have i promise your life will change, I bless everything i have now and write it down as much as i can, i swear my life has been blessed over and over since, it is the law of attraction, what you put out you get back.

I went from poor, unhealthy unconfident overweight woman to rich, healthy confident slender woman in the space of a year!

Desire ask believe receive!

Thank you so much for this...real motivation there. Watch this butterfly emerge :-)