Don't know who the father is!!

sillybilly111

Ok before i write this i dont want to be judged, everyone makes mistakes sometime in their lives and this just happens to be mine. So please dont post nasty comments etc im looking for advice.....

Im with my husband 9 years and were married a yr. we have been trying to conceive for 6 months. im now 7 weeks pregnant. My last period was march 27 '09 and i have kept track of when i ovulate etc. my cycle is usually 28 days never any longer than 31days. In the month of April i had sex with my husband around the time i ovulated, a week after ovulation we had a drunken 3sum with a very good friend of his, at the start of the 3sum his friend did not use a condom ( at the start i mean for about 1 min) but i cant be sure that this friend did not ejaculate prematurly.
Im now so worried that the child may not be my husbands because we were trying so long and all of a sudden after having a 3sum i now am. Im worried that i didnt ovulate when i should have (even though im 100% sure i did) and that i ovulated the week later. Is there anyway i can find out or what the hell should i do?
I cant enjoy been pregnant because i have this in my head and iv wanted a baby for so long.

My name is URL

Have a CVS paternity test. If your husband was there at the time of conceiving he should have no objections to it.

Then decide what you both want to do

Liam Byrne

Can't see you being judged on that one, s/b......while - let's say "that type of" threesome wouldn't be ok by me personally, it was obviously OK with your husband.

The only thing I could see that might help would be a DNA test, however I would say be careful what you do decide to do....."not knowing" might seem like the lesser of two evils if it turned out that the child was the "friend's".

Best of luck!

shellyboo

sillybilly111 wrote: »

Im with my husband 9 years and were married a yr. we have been trying to conceive for 6 months. im now 7 weeks pregnant. My last period was march 27 '09 and i have kept track of when i ovulate etc. my cycle is usually 28 days never any longer than 31days. In the month of April i had sex with my husband around the time i ovulated, a week after ovulation we had a drunken 3sum with a very good friend of his, at the start of the 3sum his friend did not use a condom ( at the start i mean for about 1 min) but i cant be sure that this friend did not ejaculate prematurly.
Im now so worried that the child may not be my husbands because we were trying so long and all of a sudden after having a 3sum i now am. Im worried that i didnt ovulate when i should have (even though im 100% sure i did) and that i ovulated the week later. Is there anyway i can find out or what the hell should i do?
I cant enjoy been pregnant because i have this in my head and iv wanted a baby for so long.

Well, first of all I don't think you've made any mistakes. You've indulged in consensual sex with your husband and another guy with your husband's permission... it's all good

Secondly - Congratualtions! You're pregnant, yay for you

Thirdly, I think you are overreacting. If you look at the facts: You are 100% sure you ovulated the week before; and you didn't have full, unprotected sex with your friend, the chances are miniscule that he's the father.

I think what you should do is sit down with your husband and talk it out. He'll tell you you're panicking over nothing and reassure you; and that will feel better than anything we can tell you on here.

If it still bothers you, you can always get a paternity test. But best to put your mind at rest if you can, before resorting to that. If you need to, can you get in touch with the friend and ask him if he ejaculated inside you? Just do whatever you can to settle your mind and enjoy your pregnancy!

Dublin_Gunner

Convince yourself its a strange coincidence.


The child is your husbands - end of.


As the above said, if you went through all of this, you could end up causing all sorts of pain and complications. What would you do if it was found out the child was the other persons? Arrange access / custody / maintenance etc?

Seriously, you need to think long and hard before you do anything rash.

If I were you (which I couldn't be, I'm a man lol), I would leave it as being a funny coincidence, and reassure yourself - and your hubby - that the child is his.

Oh, and in future, have any 3rd party wear a condom from the start. Its not only pregnancy you need to worry about.

LegacyUser

Try and not worry about it for a start. You'll only make yourself sick.

You said it was only "a minute" of un-protected sex before he put a condom on. I'm not an expert on pre-mature ejaculation, but that would probably be too quick.......

Also, you said it was a "drunken" three some, as a lot of men will (anonymously) testify, orgasming with alocohol or while drunk can be difficult if not impossible. The more you have, the more difficult it becomes

Thirdly, you said he then put a condom on, if he had of orgasmed, he most likely would have lost his erection and would not have been able to put on a condom or continue having sex.

Given how detailed you know your ovulation cycle and the dates that you had sex, i think you shouldn't worry about the paternity. They are just doubts and natural fears. Be confident that the child is your husbands

metrovelvet

Before you went for IVF and you and your husband took fertility tests?did you by any chance both test fine and fall into the category of unexplained infertility?

Get one of those blood dna tests.