A girl I'm friends with

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Long time reader first time poster.

Well my problem is there's a friend of mine that I'm quite attracted to. By quite I mean I like her alot and would like to be able to be with her to see if we could become more than just friends.

The History-
Well we met when I was in college last year through mutual friends because we're both into the same passtime. Now we spent a bit of time hanging out together over the last year and a half or so, usually we'd see each other once or twice a week and go out with friends drinking together aswell. Now all this time we would of been flirting with each other. I'm not the only one who saw this as most of our mutual friends have commented on it at some stage. And I know several of her friends have been onto her about it saying what was the deal with it.

She knows that I like her as I found out this from a mutual firend but when asked I was told she wasn't interested. But anyway the flirting continues whenever we would see eachother.

Now my thing is should I mention this to her, like the flirting is great and all that but if it's not gona be leading me anywhere I don't really see the need for it and it's really wrecking my head. As the saying goes '*hit or get off the pot'.

So people should I mention it to her that the flirting should end or we should do something about it, or should I just keep my mouth shut.

And before I get a reply from all the Alpha males out there about manning up and just asking her out, I'd like to say that I've made a move or two in the past and been told she's not interested but yet would go for the cheeky score the odd time.

LegacyUser

Fair play to you for giving it a try. It is a very difficult thing to risk your friendship and pride by telling a long term friend that you want more out of the relationship. Sadly, she wasn't into you. I'm afraid this isn't going to change. If you've been friends that long, then it will definitely have crossed her mind that you two might be a good couple. It obviously did and she decided against it, otherwise she would've said yes when you asked her.

The only hope you've got is if she is dumped by a future BF or is in a lonely place in her life and she leans on you cos she knows she can have you. But this won't last, as soon as she gets out of her lonely place, she'll end things and this will probably end the friendship.

I admire you for giving it a go but the fact that your mutual friend says she is not interested and the fact that you have made some advances which haven't warranted a response tells me that you're barking up the wrong tree.

LegacyUser

OP here again.

I've pretty much being thinking the same thing myself for the last while or so.

Problem is whenever we're together we both start flirting with eachother. Like I like to flirt as much as the next guy and it's great for the old confidence but it comes back to the same thing in teh end where it leads to nothing.

My general question would be whether or not to mention this to her. Like I want to keep her as a friend, as I've pretty much realised that we're not going to end up together, but I don't want to continue going around in circles all the time with the flirting.

Let me give you an example, lets say we're both out with our friends, now we could both arrive seperately but as soon as we're around eachother the flirting always seems to start.

Now I like talking to her and having her as a friend but the flirting is all the time. My question is what do people think of me saying this to her. Not in a bad way or anything but just that we've got to stop this flirting as its a very big thing and its blocking out alot of other people. I was talking to a friend last night and we were talking about a night out that we'd all be at and he brought it up straight away that we'd both be off flirting with eachother for the night as soon as we were there. Just wondering what people think about me mentioning it to her that we should calm back the flirting, as even as my friend said it stops other people almost.