To grass or not to grass

MonicaBing

Mods, feel free to move if in wrong place...


Now, have a 14 yr old son who has been in and out of trouble over last 2 yrs, i thought lately in the last 3 months we had come to an understanding between us as things came to a head, i dealt with it and he realised error of his ways. Yeah right, he was expelled from school today after they found a weed cigarette in his locker and i brought him to doc for a urine test as he denied smoking pot. He was holding it for someone he maintains. So he's since told me of a kid same age, up the rd, who he got it from and that this kid has quite a substantial amount of hash and paraphenalia in his house, he's also supplying at 15(!) other kids in the area. So my question is, do i ring guards and tell them, is it really any of my business? Do i let it go on knowing this kids mum, is like me, a struggling single mum doing our best for our kids, and has struggled seriously with her kid in the last yr. Or would i only make things worse for my guy?

beth-lou

What about telling the other kids mother instead of going to the police. Tell her you are having the same problem with your guy. I would try to be as diplomatic as you can if she is a neighbour and you might be able to support each other if she is willing to tackle the issue head on.

meditraitor

Do not bring the Guards into it, its a minor criminal matter and could effect a young boys future.
Do talk to his mother,

Don't be to hard on your son, its a common story and I would try to explain to him the damage he is doing to himself at that age smoking weed.

di11on

meditraitor wrote: »

Do not bring the Guards into it, its a minor criminal matter and could effect a young boys future.
Do talk to his mother,

Don't be to hard on your son, its a common story and I would try to explain to him the damage he is doing to himself at that age smoking weed.

The guy is supplying illegal drugs. It's not a minor criminal offence. I don't see why the guards shouldn't be involved and why the guy in question shouldn't be given the fright of his life. Your future gets effected when you sell drugs to other people. That is so society can function properly.

MonicaBing

Tbh, the kids given his mum hell of it, he's only just back from 3 months of living with his dad in the UK as she carted him of in the hope it would straighten him out from his last scrape with the law. But now its my kid who's been sucked into this ****e.
We've been through enough ourselves and im trying to deal with this the best i can, but i really honestly dont know what im doing here.
I know pot smoking is to some people a rite of passage but my guy has made a bong and knows all about PCP AND TH something, and is mad into ''head''(?)
shops and Amsterdam and legal hash and all that crap, so it looks to me like more than just a passing interest.
His dads a pothead/alcoholic and im terrified my kid is looking emulate his dad, but i have cut him from our lives, so i basically am doing this solo.

beth-lou

You could have a chat with your local community Gard, every community has one and ask him to talk to your son. but once they have him flagged as a smoker they will search him regularily on the street when they see him. I've seen this with my brother. It can have both a negative or a positive effect depending on what type of person your son is. Either he'll get the fright of his life or he'll become withdrawn and defensive and rebelious.

It sounds as though your son is in it as much as the other guy, and if he wants it he'll get it from countless other sources. It's very easy. Talk to oyur son about what he wants to do withhis life, the risks associated with smoking hash and in particular grass or hydro as it's called, (I know far too much about this ****) and how it can cause serious mental health issues in teenage boys as their brains have not fully developed. I have unfortunately experienced this with my brother and other issues. The best thing you can do is get information and talk to him. Don't try to use scare tactics as he will disregard what you say. Get as informed as you possibly can so he can't brush you off as being hysterical or clueless.

Most teenagers do smoke hash or grass at some point, but he needs to be aware that it is not without its own risks. It could be a phase, but better to inform him and hopefully he will leave it at that. Best of luck with it.

Fighting Irish

Stay out of others peoples business and tell your kid not to hold weed for someone

MonicaBing wrote: »

Mods, feel free to move if in wrong place...


Now, have a 14 yr old son who has been in and out of trouble over last 2 yrs, i thought lately in the last 3 months we had come to an understanding between us as things came to a head, i dealt with it and he realised error of his ways. Yeah right, he was expelled from school today after they found a weed cigarette in his locker and i brought him to doc for a urine test as he denied smoking pot. He was holding it for someone he maintains. So he's since told me of a kid same age, up the rd, who he got it from and that this kid has quite a substantial amount of hash and paraphenalia in his house, he's also supplying at 15(!) other kids in the area. So my question is, do i ring guards and tell them, is it really any of my business? Do i let it go on knowing this kids mum, is like me, a struggling single mum doing our best for our kids, and has struggled seriously with her kid in the last yr. Or would i only make things worse for my guy?

hallelujajordan

di11on wrote: »

The guy is supplying illegal drugs. It's not a minor criminal offence. I don't see why the guards shouldn't be involved and why the guy in question shouldn't be given the fright of his life. Your future gets effected when you sell drugs to other people. That is so society can function properly.

Fully agree, I wouldn't hesitate for a second if I knew someone who is dealing, even if it is only pot ! . . this guy is making money selling drugs . . He is buying his drugs from others who most likely do not limit themselves to selling pot . .

The right thing to do in the interest of your son and countless others is to try to shut down this source and do a very small bit to eliminate the drug problem. .

Fighting Irish

hallelujajordan wrote: »

Fully agree, I wouldn't hesitate for a second if I knew someone who is dealing, even if it is only pot ! . . this guy is making money selling drugs . . He is buying his drugs from others who most likely do not limit themselves to selling pot . .

The right thing to do in the interest of your son and countless others is to try to shut down this source and do a very small bit to eliminate the drug problem. .

In the interest of her son, she should keep him safe and don't get drug dealers pissed off with him

hallelujajordan

Fighting Irish wrote: »

In the interest of her son, she should keep him safe and don't get drug dealers pissed off with him

Nonsense . . anyone can make an anonymous call and tip the Gardai off . . If we were all to take your attitude the drug dealers would get away with murder . . . oh sorry that's right, they do !

Fighting Irish

hallelujajordan wrote: »

Nonsense . . anyone can make an anonymous call and tip the Gardai off . . If we were all to take your attitude the drug dealers would get away with murder . . . oh sorry that's right, they do !

I know people can make anonymous calls to gardai, but what if someone figured out who might(thats all it might take for these people to react) have made the call. I wouldn't put my own childs safety at risk to protect other people from doing stupid things.

There's only one way to stop drug dealers and i won't mention it because i don't want to debate it

ps i don't do drugs

stovelid

I see little need to saddle the kid with a possible criminal record for selling hash. Let's have a little perspective here.

By all means, inform his mother though.

hallelujajordan

stovelid wrote: »

I see little need to saddle the kid with a possible criminal record for selling hash. Let's have a little perspective here.

By all means, inform his mother though.

He is supplying at least 15 kids, prob more . . . making a lot of money and according to OP has already had other scrapes with the law . . I think he has made his choices and ought to live with the consequences . .

Fighting Irish

hallelujajordan wrote: »

He is supplying at least 15 kids, prob more . . . making a lot of money and according to OP has already had other scrapes with the law . . I think he has made his choices and ought to live with the consequences . .

Yes, and he'll get caught out soon enough. No need for this kid to be put more in the mix.

hallelujajordan

Fighting Irish wrote: »

Yes, and he'll get caught out soon enough. No need for this kid to be put more in the mix.

Point is, if everyone took the attitude you take, he won't !

di11on

stovelid wrote: »

I see little need to saddle the kid with a possible criminal record for selling hash. Let's have a little perspective here.

By all means, inform his mother though.

The guy should have a criminal record because he's a criminal.

meditraitor

di11on wrote: »

The guy should have a criminal record because he's a criminal.

The guy is 15 FFS, some of you people sicken me. Somebody has let this child down badly and all you want to do is lock him up.

IsThatSo?

Ok, why not take a middle ground then and tell the boys Mother now and if he keeps supplying your boy then report him.........................

metrovelvet

Heres what I would do.

1. Anonomously tip off the guards

2.give your son a medical article on how pot causes impotence

3.see if you can give him a tour of a prison and scare him straight

4.remove all privaleges from him and cash for a limited time as punishment for carrying drugs and you could even take it so far as to make it hard for him to buy drugs by making him pay for everything he neeps but his three meals a day,for a couple of weeks.Expect him to hate you for a while.

Beruthiel

Wait till the boys are in school.
Go round and have a chat with the mother.
Tell her that you have heard with regards to her son. Explain you would rather she did not say where she heard the info, thus saving your son from any grief.

lostinnappies

MonicaBing wrote: »

Mods, feel free to move if in wrong place...


Now, have a 14 yr old son who has been in and out of trouble over last 2 yrs, i thought lately in the last 3 months we had come to an understanding between us as things came to a head, i dealt with it and he realised error of his ways. Yeah right, he was expelled from school today after they found a weed cigarette in his locker and i brought him to doc for a urine test as he denied smoking pot. He was holding it for someone he maintains. So he's since told me of a kid same age, up the rd, who he got it from and that this kid has quite a substantial amount of hash and paraphenalia in his house, he's also supplying at 15(!) other kids in the area. So my question is, do i ring guards and tell them, is it really any of my business? Do i let it go on knowing this kids mum, is like me, a struggling single mum doing our best for our kids, and has struggled seriously with her kid in the last yr. Or would i only make things worse for my guy?

Im sorry im just responding to the OP here. I dont understand why there is even a question here.

So far this kid has gotten your child expelled, supplied drugs to him, supplied drugs to other people, and is getting those drugs probably from an undisireably source.

HOW COULD YOU NOT GRASS? Im sorry but you need to protect your own child FIRST, who else is going to do it? To say that your son is not affected by it ... hello, he got expelled. something needs to be done.

Dont worry about the mother of the other child, if her son is using and selling drugs to other CHILDREN and your son then she obviously needs help, and her son needs to deal with the consiquences.

What would you say if I turned around and said, " oh this 15 year old up the road from me is dealing drugs to his class mates, and getting others expelled, and im not going to grass because his mother is a single mother "..... what about the other childrens lives he is distroying because of drugs?

Sorry for the rant but I would think its a no brainer.

My name is URL

lostinnappies wrote: »

Im sorry im just responding to the OP here. I dont understand why there is even a question here.

So far this kid has gotten your child expelled, supplied drugs to him, supplied drugs to other people, and is getting those drugs probably from an undisireably source.

HOW COULD YOU NOT GRASS? Im sorry but you need to protect your own child FIRST, who else is going to do it? To say that your son is not affected by it ... hello, he got expelled. something needs to be done.

Dont worry about the mother of the other child, if her son is using and selling drugs to other CHILDREN and your son then she obviously needs help, and her son needs to deal with the consiquences.

What would you say if I turned around and said, " oh this 15 year old up the road from me is dealing drugs to his class mates, and getting others expelled, and im not going to grass because his mother is a single mother "..... what about the other childrens lives he is distroying because of drugs?

Sorry for the rant but I would think its a no brainer.

Ah now come on. If the kid didn't get the stuff of that dealer he probably would have got it off someone else.

It (weed) is such a widespread issue in Ireland today that it's surprising that parents and teachers don't have a more understanding view of it.

You can blame others and pass the buck all you want about 'who's in the wrong', but at the end of the day, the OP's son is the one that got caught doing something that he knew was illegal. Expulsion from school over it is ludicrous though, imo.

The best thing is to discuss drugs with your own kids, and hope they take heed of your open views on it and why it can be very dangerous, rather than sweeping it under the carpet altogether and putting it down to the fact that others have forced your son into making the decision to use it.

Kids experiment all the time, they always have, and they always will. It's part of growing up..

If I was you, I'd organize a meeting with the principle and ask him to invite the parents of the other kid along, so that the issue can be dealt with in a manner that doesn't require giving a child a criminal record.

Fighting Irish

hallelujajordan wrote: »

Point is, if everyone took the attitude you take, he won't !

Well if it was my kid i wouldn't say sh1t, i'm not on this earth to enforce the laws

Look out for your own, there will always be drug dealers

Fighting Irish

Beruthiel wrote: »

Wait till the boys are in school.
Go round and have a chat with the mother.
Tell her that you have heard with regards to her son. Explain you would rather she did not say where she heard the info, thus saving your son from any grief.

what if the mother is a bit of a knack and goes ape **** and then says to her son "your mates mother called around saying you were selling drugs"

hallelujajordan

My name is URL wrote: »

Ah now come on. If the kid didn't get the stuff of that dealer he probably would have got it off someone else.

It (weed) is such a widespread issue in Ireland today that it's surprising that parents and teachers don't have a more understanding view of it.

You can blame others and pass the buck all you want about 'who's in the wrong', but at the end of the day, the OP's son is the one that got caught doing something that he knew was illegal. Expulsion from school over it is ludicrous though, imo.

The best thing is to discuss drugs with your own kids, and hope they take heed of your open views on it and why it can be very dangerous, rather than sweeping it under the carpet altogether and putting it down to the fact that others have forced your son into making the decision to use it.

Kids experiment all the time, they always have, and they always will. It's part of growing up..

If I was you, I'd organize a meeting with the principle and ask him to invite the parents of the other kid along, so that the issue can be dealt with in a manner that doesn't require giving a child a criminal record.

I'm genuinely amazed at the amount of feedback from people who consider that this is no big deal, that it is wrong to involve the Gardai and that this is just kids being kids and an issue that should be resolved by the parents.

The 15 year old child OP mentions is a DRUG DEALER who is making a lot of money by selling drugs to teenagers. He is probably buying from another local dealer but ultimately from ORGANISED CRIMINALS. Without such routes to the teenage population, organised crime would not proliferate in the way that it does. It is right and appropriate and not one bit unfair that this 15 year old suffer the consequences of his actions straight away and that such supply routes are closed down . .

metrovelvet

If you go to the mother chances are shes going to deny it. Very few mothers will incriminate their sons.

So when that fails and you tip off the cops she and her son will know its you and then youll have a drug dealer pissed at you. Not a great position to be in.

Dont do anything to risk your anonominity and chances are this guy is dealing more than pot.

di11on

meditraitor wrote: »

The guy is 15 FFS, some of you people sicken me. Somebody has let this child down badly and all you want to do is lock him up.

I don't think he should be locked up, but I see no harm in him experiecing negative consequences for supplying illegal drugs to other people for profit. No harm having to stand in front of a judge and give account for his actions. Why should this not happen? It'll scare him and his parents hopefully.

stovelid

metrovelvet wrote: »

see if you can give him a tour of a prison and scare him straight

The penal services may have a more pressing priority list than arranging prison tours for 15 year-old hash smokers. You know, incarceration of murderers, rapists and the like.

oh well , okay

The OP's son was the one caught with the joint and seems to be familiar enough with drug culture considering he's visiting head shops and making home made bongs for himself so I doubt he's innocent in the whole episode . He only brought the chap up the road into it once he was caught so I'd be wary of going to the guards on the word of a 14 yr old who's trying to get himself out of trouble . For all we know he blurted out this lads name because he knew he'd been in trouble before and therefore would make a believable villain .

Accusing a 15 yr old boy of drug dealing is a huge step to be taking and I'd want more proof than has been furnished on here to do it.

I'd deal with your son as you see fit then talk to the other chaps mother and see how that goes before taking things any further .

goodmum

I'm also genuinely amazed at peoples attitudes here.

It's typical Irish 'Ah, sure mind your own business' similar to a recent thread about 'Should I report the single mother who's claiming Lone-Parents whilst living with her rich boyfriend, and they are both driving 08 cars' or similar title.

And the replies were all 'It's got nothing to do with you' of 'Keep your nose out of other peoples business.

I have two close family members who both smoked pot from 15. Both are now in their 30's, still smoking it and are, to coin phrase 'cabbages'. No jobs, no interest in anything and general apathy towards everything and everybody.

This 15yr old is supplying drugs to CHILDREN. Report him to the Guards pronto. And get your son away from him. You did the right thing going solo on this one, and ensuring that his own father doesn't influence him re drugs or alcohol and I'm sure you're doing a great job. The very fact that you came on here looking for help confirms that. I'm sure the 15yr olds mother is looking for help for him, for which she should be ashamed.

ebmma

goodmum wrote: »

I'm also genuinely amazed at peoples attitudes here.


I have two close family members who both smoked pot from 15. Both are now in their 30's, still smoking it and are, to coin phrase 'cabbages'. No jobs, no interest in anything and general apathy towards everything and everybody.

That really means nothing I have family members who did it since that age and still do it on occasion and are fully functional human beings with 3rd level education, jobs and families.

does it prove anything? No. People are just different

MonicaBing

oh well , okay wrote: »

The OP's son was the one caught with the joint and seems to be familiar enough with drug culture considering he's visiting head shops and making home made bongs for himself so I doubt he's innocent in the whole episode . He only brought the chap up the road into it once he was caught so I'd be wary of going to the guards on the word of a 14 yr old who's trying to get himself out of trouble . For all we know he blurted out this lads name because he knew he'd been in trouble before and therefore would make a believable villain .

Accusing a 15 yr old boy of drug dealing is a huge step to be taking and I'd want more proof than has been furnished on here to do it.

I'd deal with your son as you see fit then talk to the other chaps mother and see how that goes before taking things any further .

Ok an update for you all, my kid is under extreme house arrest, all priviledges revoked, bedroom door taken down, basically left him with his bed in his room, all PSP, Phone, etc taken from him and i've sold them to my friend for her kid.
He was supposed to go away for a week to Spain with his mates family and ive cancelled that.

I showed him some stuff on the internet regarding use of hash and its long term effects and he's basically laughed at me and told me i'm over reacting, so i'm gonna wait for test results to come back next week and get the doc to help me speak to him. As far as other kids concerned, i happened to bump into her at ATM this morn and asked how she was coping with her guy as its public knowledge the trouble he was in earlier in the year, she nearly cries with relief as to how well he's settling back in at home with her and he's keeping out of trouble??????????????

Zangetsu

As many have said it wouldn't be the best idea getting the gaurds involved. You'll be messing around with the lives of the other kid and especially your own.

Kid gets caught with weed, kid selling weed gets picked up from anonymous tip, 1+1=2 etc etc... Its a silly idea that will cause even more problems for you and your son...

I'm not gonna tell you how to raise your kid but it would be worth putting yourself in his position and sit down and talk with him.

"Ah its just a bit of hash"
"My friends do it"
"Its fun"

MonicaBing wrote: »

I showed him some stuff on the internet regarding use of hash and its long term effects and he's basically laughed at me and told me i'm over reacting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbsBj8NRufw

No offence but I'd laugh too... Do you have any experiance with the drug yourself?

MonicaBing

Zangetsu wrote: »

As many have said it wouldn't be the best idea getting the gaurds involved. You'll be messing around with the lives of the other kid and especially your own.

Kid gets caught with weed, kid selling weed gets picked up from anonymous tip, 1+1=2 etc etc... Its a silly idea that will cause even more problems for you and your son...

I'm not gonna tell you how to raise your kid but it would be worth putting yourself in his position and sit down and talk with him.

"Ah its just a bit of hash"
"My friends do it"
"Its fun"

I'm beginning to think i may not say anything as i've found out that the supplier of the other kid is a well know nasty piece of work pavee from the next estate over and i do not want any trouble from him. He seems to have 9 lives hes' escaped that much trouble from the guards. So if he was to find out i had anything to do with him being pursued? Jesus its like a bad episode of Fair City im living in here. I figure this kids got himself in trouble in the past without me, he'll do it again.

goodmum

ebmma wrote: »

That really means nothing I have family members who did it since that age and still do it on occasion and are fully functional human beings with 3rd level education, jobs and families.

does it prove anything? No. People are just different

One of them happens to be an identical twin. Interstingly enough, the other twin doesn't smoke at all and is (as you describe) a fully functional human being with a 3rd level education, job and family. I think that's proof enough.

the_god_swan

goodmum wrote: »

One of them happens to be an identical twin. Interstingly enough, the other twin doesn't smoke at all and is (as you describe) a fully functional human being with a 3rd level education, job and family. I think that's proof enough.

ha ha... oh wow you really won that argument :rolleyes:
Continue the good fight of the 'war on drugs', tis a fine job your doing... the United States have been raping 2nd world countries since the sixies under that slogan... wow and all they had to do was contact you eh!

same goes for you too hallelujajordan, absolute mindless advice for the OP's situation...

OP i believe your current thoughts on the subject is the wise route to take. Your sons story reminds me of my friends and I as young teenagers, convinced we were only people on the planet that had smoked a joint, knew someone that was 'dealing'.. and although people got involved at different levels no lives were harmed during the learning experience.

goodmum

the_god_swan wrote: »

ha ha... oh wow you really won that argument :rolleyes:
Continue the good fight of the 'war on drugs', tis a fine job your doing...

Funny your reply has such a sarcastic tone. It's the same tone my brother used with me, when I tackled him on his 18year habit.

luckat

Hm.

MonicaBling, your son has told you that another child supplies him; I'm sure you believe your son, but he may not necessarily be telling you the truth.

Your reaction is sensible - he's looking for boundaries, and you're giving them to him.

Of course he won't believe the stuff you show him from the internet, any more than we did in our time as we laughed at Reefer Madness.

But if he'd listen to my own experience, here it is. I was never bothered about dope of any sort, but had various nice, funny, intelligent friends who smoked a lot. Invariably it robbed them of years of their lives - they spent all their time planning a wonderful future, but doing nothing about it. The dope just made them lassitudinous and dull.

And that was the dope of the 1960s. Since then, cannabis has become the most genetically engineered plant on the planet, engineered to make a massive increase in the amount of THC (delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol), the component that causes the high.

If you'd like to read about this, Michael Pollan's book Botany of Desire has a fascinating essay about it.

I hope things go well for you and your son and he gets into a sounder way of life, more focused on sensible things like study and sport and work and friendship.

ebmma

goodmum wrote: »

One of them happens to be an identical twin. Interstingly enough, the other twin doesn't smoke at all and is (as you describe) a fully functional human being with a 3rd level education, job and family. I think that's proof enough.

For you maybe. But as a study of effects of hash on people it's pretty feeble, sorry.

hallelujajordan

the_god_swan wrote: »

ha ha... oh wow you really won that argument :rolleyes:
Continue the good fight of the 'war on drugs', tis a fine job your doing... the United States have been raping 2nd world countries since the sixies under that slogan... wow and all they had to do was contact you eh!

same goes for you too hallelujajordan, absolute mindless advice for the OP's situation...

OP i believe your current thoughts on the subject is the wise route to take. Your sons story reminds me of my friends and I as young teenagers, convinced we were only people on the planet that had smoked a joint, knew someone that was 'dealing'.. and although people got involved at different levels no lives were harmed during the learning experience.

The only 'wisdom' in OP's current route is the wisdom of protecting your own ass which I can fully understand. . However, if everyone took this approach we would live in a completely lawless society.

For the record, I have no problem with dope. . . In the greater scheme of things I don't think it is any more harmful than alcohol or tobacco and I would fully support it being legalised. However, I do have a problem with organised crime. . It's only a couple of steps up the chain from the 15 yr old youngfella who is supplying the kids to the thugs who are going around shooting each other but oe cannot operate without the other. .

Also, these guys don't limit themselves to selling hash and its not a huge step from smoking a spliff to snorting a line of coke. .

bullpost

ebmma wrote: »

For you maybe. But as a study of effects of hash on people it's pretty feeble, sorry.

Something a bit more scientific:

Depression

A study following 1600 Australian school-children, aged 14 to 15 for seven years, found that while children who use cannabis regularly have a significantly higher risk of depression, the opposite was not the case - children who already suffered from depression were not more likely than anyone else to use cannabis. However, adolescents who used cannabis daily were five times more likely to develop depression and anxiety in later life.



Schizophrenia

Three major studies followed large numbers of people over several years, and showed that those people who use cannabis have a higher than average risk of developing schizophrenia. If you start smoking it before the age of 15, you are 4 times more likely to develop a psychotic disorder by the time you are 26. They found no evidence of self-medication. It seemed that, the more cannabis someone used, the more likely they were to develop symptoms.



Why should teenagers be particularly vulnerable to the use of cannabis? No one knows for certain, but it may be something to do with brain development. The brain is still developing in the teenage years – up to the age of around 20, in fact. A massive process of ‘neural pruning’ is going on. This is rather like streamlining a tangled jumble of circuits so they can work more effectively. Any experience, or substance, that affects this process has the potential to produce long-term psychological effects.

Source : http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfo/problems/alcoholanddrugs/cannabis.aspx

di11on

I don't frequent this forum at all, just saw the thread title on the main page and wandered in.

The amount of misinformation, knee-jerk reactionism and downright foolishness that has been posted as "advice" in this thread worries me. Greatly.

Where to start....

di11on wrote: »

The guy is supplying illegal drugs. It's not a minor criminal offence. I don't see why the guards shouldn't be involved and why the guy in question shouldn't be given the fright of his life. Your future gets effected when you sell drugs to other people. That is so society can function properly.

You don't know that. The OP's son has said it, but this doesn't make it true. It is a huge leap from that to start accusing a teenager of being a drug dealer.

hallelujajordan wrote: »

Nonsense . . anyone can make an anonymous call and tip the Gardai off .

I've only quoted one of your posts, but i disagree with all of them. The one quoted above is the worst possible path the OP could choose. Think about it for a second.......

* Your son gets expelled for having/smoking grass
* everyone of the kids in the school/neighbourhood are aware of this
* x number of weeks later, the person who sold it to him gets arrested
* everyone of the kids in the school/neighbourhood are aware of this, too
* It's now plainly obvious who was the 'rat' and the minimum (and i do mean minimum) that happens to your son is that he gets ostracised by all his peers, whether they agree with what you did on his behalf or not.
* This other kid then either gives your kid a hiding, or, even worse, passes his name on to whoever he got the grass from in the first place

goodmum wrote: »

I have two close family members who both smoked pot from 15. Both are now in their 30's, still smoking it and are, to coin phrase 'cabbages'. No jobs, no interest in anything and general apathy towards everything and everybody.

This doesn't mean anything. I have 10+ friends in their 30's who have all been smoking for years and are still healthy people in well-paid employment and have more enthusiasm for life than most. How many 'cabbages' or wasters do you know who don't smoke it?

goodmum wrote: »

........I think that's proof enough

Sorry, but you're wrong, it isn't.

goodmum wrote: »

........I'm sure you're doing a great job. The very fact that you came on here looking for help confirms that. I'm sure the 15yr olds mother is looking for help for him, for which she should be ashamed.

What? Is this a typo or just plain hypocrisy?

The OP should be applauded for trying to help her son, but the other kids mother should be ashamed for trying to help hers? Please tell me i'm reading this wrongly.

hallelujajordan wrote: »

its not a huge step from smoking a spliff to snorting a line of coke

More misinformation. It is a huuuuuuuuuuuge step. The OP is worried enough without this kind of scaremongering nagging away at her. You said yourself that you have no problem with dope, does this mean that you have no problem with coke? Without any first hand experience, I find you are underqualified to make the above statement.


OP:
Ignore the other kid and his mother completely. Are you even 100% sure that what your son told you is the truth?Going down that path will only lead to misery for you and your son. You two are the only people you should be concerned about. The last thing you want is the other kids' mother taking you to court for accusing her lil' angel of being a scumbag.

I don't know what or who a pavee is (traveller?), but this other character is obviously bad news. Ignore that aspect, save to tell your kid to stop hanging around with the 'dealer'. He might find this difficult, in fact he might even refuse, but come September he'll hopefully have a new school, new friends and his Jr. Cert on his plate.

Remember: This is not the end of the world. If he was hanging around with the wrong crowd, this might be a blessing in disguise. Hell, it might even be the making of him.

hallelujajordan

First up, as I have been pretty clear; I think the principle of not informing the Gardai that a kid is dealing drugs for fear of the personal consequences is the wrong thing to do and if we were all to behave like that we would live in a completely lawless society. .

Assuming OP is correct and the 15 yr OLD is dealing to lots of kids, he will get caught eventually . . Hell, according to OP he is already known to the Gardai so it won't be unusual if he is picked up. I'm quite sure the Gards can manage the situation discretely. .

Deleted User wrote: »

More misinformation. It is a huuuuuuuuuuuge step. The OP is worried enough without this kind of scaremongering nagging away at her. You said yourself that you have no problem with dope, does this mean that you have no problem with coke? Without any first hand experience, I find you are underqualified to make the above statement.

You have no idea what my experience or my qualifications are !! And no the fact that I equate dope from a medical / scientific perspective with tobacco or alcohol does not mean that I feel the same about coke .. where did I imply that ?

My point has nothing to do with the dangers of dope but rather the fact that because of the laws of the land the primary source of dope in Ireland is organised crime . . the same source that provides coke, ecstasy and whatever else you fancy ! the same source that goes around shooting one another. I believe that it makes a lot of sense to remove the 15 yr old (and anyone else that we can) from this dangerous supply chain.

The last thing you want is the other kids' mother taking you to court for accusing her lil' angel of being a scumbag.

You talk to me about scaremongering ? ? Do you really believe that by going to the Gards and reporting someone she suspects of dealing drugs she is opening herself up to potential litigation . . Nobody advised her to publish her claims on the front page of The Sun y'know.

Zangetsu

Deleted User wrote: »

Think about it for a second.......

* Your son gets expelled for having/smoking grass
* everyone of the kids in the school/neighbourhood are aware of this
* x number of weeks later, the person who sold it to him gets arrested
* everyone of the kids in the school/neighbourhood are aware of this, too
* It's now plainly obvious who was the 'rat' and the minimum (and i do mean minimum) that happens to your son is that he gets ostracised by all his peers, whether they agree with what you did on his behalf or not.
* This other kid then either gives your kid a hiding, or, even worse, passes his name on to whoever he got the grass from in the first place

Just incase you missed it the first/second time hallelujajordan...

Fighting Irish

also be glad he's not doing coke

hallelujajordan

Zangetsu wrote: »

Just incase you missed it the first/second time hallelujajordan...

Thank you but I didn't miss it . . repost it as often as you like and I still will not agree. . Frankly, I think the melodramatic scaremongering is a little bit silly. .

luckat

Anyway. Returning to the question, MonicaBling, may I respectfully suggest that this is something you could get some professional help with?

I'm not really envisaging your son (or his friend, I hope) turning into hopeless, derelict drug fiends. But the life of the dedicated stoner isn't something you'd want for anyone you cared about.

Maybe you should go to your GP and ask for a referral to the excellent counselling services for young people?

ntlbell

hallelujajordan wrote: »

The only 'wisdom' in OP's current route is the wisdom of protecting your own ass which I can fully understand. . However, if everyone took this approach we would live in a completely lawless society.

There's a large group of people paid to in force the law, you might have noticed them in bright colored cars

hallelujajordan wrote: »

Also, these guys don't limit themselves to selling hash and its not a huge step from smoking a spliff to snorting a line of coke. .

This is absolute rubbish, it's the equivalent of saying a cup of tea leads to snorting coke as most coke heads have drank tea...absolute tosh.

goodmum

'This doesn't mean anything. I have 10+ friends in their 30's who have all been smoking for years'

My point exactly. Those who smoke it, or who have 10+ friends who have been smoking it for years, never have a bad word to say about it! The rest of society is wrong. Hash is great, blah blah blah. It's illegal for a reason. It wrecks lives. I've seen it happen in front of my eyes.


What? Is this a typo or just plain hypocrisy?

It was a typo. I meant the other mother didn't care, sorry.

JC 2K3

My name is URL wrote: »

It (weed) is such a widespread issue in Ireland today that it's surprising that parents and teachers don't have a more understanding view of it.

QFT.

The approach should be more "wait until your older" than "drugs are bad, mmk?".

You won't get anywhere by demonising drugs.

hallelujajordan

ntlbell wrote: »

There's a large group of people paid to in force the law, you might have noticed them in bright colored cars

You may also have noticed that the bright cars have a telephone number on the side of them and an encouragement for the general public to provide information that may help the people in the bright coloured cars do their jobs.

This is absolute rubbish, it's the equivalent of saying a cup of tea leads to snorting coke as most coke heads have drank tea...absolute tosh.

No it isn't. . I can buy tea in the supermarket . . However I can buy my dope and coke from my neighbourhood drug dealer.