put my foot in it again!

LegacyUser

first off, i've had great advice here in the past, and i'm grateful to all who've responded...I need someone's perspective, i'm not sure if i'm at fault here....it's a friendship/boundaries/sex issue.....

back storey is i'm two months out of a five year relationship, tho we first broke up a year ago and have been travelling and on/off teh past year. tho i'm reasonably good, he's still very much in my mind and i've a lot to sort out, and i'm not interested in guys again yet. i'm mid-20's fem and good looking, and like to flirt.

issue is...was out lastnight with mates, and one of the lads let slip that there's some gossip betwen'tracey' and 'patrick' ie; they hooked up or somethign....well, i must be blind cos we've all been out/drinking in his house and i never noticed it before.

far as i knew, she was scoring mick, who lives with patrick, and has often said to me that she's only interested in casual, even scored some bloke about two weeks ago on a night out. well, lastnight, we're back from teh nightclub watching a movie in the dark and patrick starts stroking my fingers...at first i pull away, then figure what teh heck, and i let him hold my hand. i've no interest in the guy, and figured he's prob just drunk and trying his luck, and didnt want to shoot him down in front of everyone so i let it be, hoping no one else could see.....

later that night, i wake up and hear tracey giving out to patrick for 'flirting with that girl in front of her, that's disrespectful'.....now i feel guilty, and hate that it prob looks like i'm stirring **** when that wasn't my intention....should i be feeling guilty? i dunno, i'm a bit angry too that now i seem like the bad guy, and i havent even done anything wrong...so we held hands, ok, maybe that was leading him on...but after being with a guy for five years, maybe my sense of boundaries are a bit blurred....i figure it was harmless and tho i've no interest in him, both of us are single and whats the harm in a bit of flirting....

bear in mind she's been screwign the other guy, and has made it clear she only wants guys for casual, and as far as i can figure from the row she wasnt upset so much as annoyed....should i have stopped him?? did i do wrong, or should she just cop on to herself and stop makign drama? am i being a shameless flirt and wilfully naive to think it's ok to flirt a bit wiht a guy i guess has the hots for me? this single thing is a minefield, i dont want to be a bitch to either of them, but surely she should chill....it's not like we screwed??

cheers, sorry this is so long

sorry this is long, thanks for reading

LegacyUser

No probs, it's interesting. Holding hands is no big deal, is it? particularly if you didn't initiate it. It's his problem, not yours. You did nothing wrong. And I'm a guy.

LegacyUser

thanks man, just seems like in the past i've made assumptions about what's ok and i've been wrong/friends got mad over me for stuff I wouldve thought wasnt a big deal.....

holding hands isn't a big deal, i mean, I know the guy likes me, but what can i do about that? i'll admit, i like teh attention, and i dont want to shoot him down cos it's an ego boost (which yeah, is a tad selfish/user), but we're not kids, and for me, unless ur actually screwing/kissing or something, it's all just a bit of harmless fun....just where should u draw the line? as a guy, if u liked someone,and she was ok wiht holding ur hand, would u be offended if u tried it later and she turned u down?