Repressed Memories

LegacyUser

Just looking for any thoughts on my story:

I'm 22 and just about to finish college. After becoming closer with my 16yr old sister over the last few years I have become aware that there are many things that happened when I was 12 up to the age of about 18 that i just dont remember. Most of the memories are of my parents or brother and sister fighting. My parents separated when I was 15 but i'm sure their relationship began to deteriorate long before that. Its a really horrible feeling not being able to remember so much of my life, even non-traumatic memories are gone. I dont remember studying for or sitting my junior cert or leaving cert. my most recent realisation happened the other day when my sister pointed out that my dad used to visit us in our family home for months after he left and that we would all watch film and play cards together. I dont remember any of this.

I have come to understand that repressed memories are common in children who have been sexually abused. I was also sexually abused when I was 11 (not by my father in case that seems inferred) and i remember all of that and always have. I also have memories of my little brothers funeral who dies from cot death and that happened when I was 3.

Would love anyones thoughts on this and would love to hear if anyone has found the same thing in their life. Thanks

My name is URL

It's impossible to determine from a post what might be causing this.

If however it is affecting your day-to-day life, I'd recommend seeing your GP who will organize a psychological evaluation for you.

We all block out bad memories btw, so don't dwell too much on it unless it is a big issue for you.

It may be a symptom of your earlier abuse, PTSD may have caused a delayed reaction in you

Dizzyblonde

You might not necessarily have repressed memories. In a family there will always be things that one person doesn't remember and another does.
You may not have been 'clued in' to some of the stuff that was going on around you at certain times and for a variety of reasons. I'm always amazed at stuff my brothers remember which I don't, and vice versa.
You can overthink these things and become convinced there's something wrong with you when in fact the isn't.
There's also 6 years between you and your sister - she was probably so young that she was at home a lot when all those things happened. You were probably busy with your friends and school, music etc.

grendo89

I think that we all have certain memories that we have repressed sub consciously. But as mentioned above, it is probably because you have been through a lot that this has happened.

One thing I would advise, something which has made me feel better, because I get so frustrated at the fact that I can never remember things on a day to day basis, is to keep a diary. Its such a simple thing, but even after only a few months of writing one, I am able to look back and remember even insignificant details of things I have done.

G

DublinWriter

I was never abused, but I have a dreadful short-term memory.

I'm 39 now, I've hardly any memory of my life before I was 12 and scant memory of the years between 13-18.

I'm sure the mind would block out individual traumatic events, but I don't think that's the case with large periods of time.

I think we're not all the same when it comes to long-term memory and that some of us are 'wired' differently.

Das Kitty

To be honest I can't remember a lot of stuff that happened when I was growing up either, if I'm told about something I get a slight glimmer or recognition but that's about it.

I believe it's our brain's way of protecting us from things it is not able to deal with. I can't remember sitting my Junior or Leaving either, not to sorry to be rid of exam memories to be honest! Your mind had a lot to deal with over the years, it's natural for your brain to diminish damaging memories.

As well as that memories naturally fade over time and we only really start noticing this in our mid-twenties and it can be a little disconcerting.

Faith

It's more than likely due to the passage of time. I'm 22 too, and I also remember very little of being a 12 - 17. I could tell you all about my social life, but have very little recollection of studying for my junior cert, or my family life. My brother suffered from severe depression when I was 14/15, and I hardly remember it at all.

Memories fade over time when they're not accessed. That's probably all that's happened. Repressed memories are very serious (and on shaky ground scientifically, afaik) so it's not the first conclusion you should jump to when you struggle to remember something.