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My Son found my contraceptive pill-so embarrased/worried.
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16-05-2009 6:57pm#1I'm both embarrassed and worried after the argument I had with my son yesterday when he found my pill packet on the kitchen table which I had stupidly forgot to pick up and put away.
To give some background info me and my husband are both 50 (although I don't look it :P) I have 2 sons one 27 and the other 21 .
This has happened with my youngest.
He had seen the pill pack on the table and after some time of avoiding me yesterday he came down to me and started saying things to try and get a reaction out of me to tell him about why the pill pack was there.
I didn't say anything but instead said to him was there something bothering him and he came right out and asked what the story was with the ill packet.
Now at first I was going to give him some excuse but I decided why should I lie and said "now what do you think I have them for ?"
He looked totally shocke (obviously he had no idea we were still having sex) and went on a huge rant on how it's sick/wrong/disgusting that I'm still doing it and that if we didn't stop he'd leave.
I responded by saying "Ah just because I'm getting some and you aren't (he has recently split from his girlfriend) " He shouted at me calling me all sorts and packed his bags and left.
We have no idea where he went he hasn't been in touch or anythin ! I'm so worried about him
Thanks for reading,I really need some help on what to do.0
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Worried mam wrote: »
and went on a huge rant on how it's sick/wrong/disgusting that I'm still doing it and that if we didn't stop he'd leave.
He shouted at me calling me all sorts and packed his bags and left.
No offense but who does he think he is! I'd get a clap about the ear if I told either of my parents what to do! I wouldn't worry about where he is, although it may not sound like it, I'm sure he's a big boy and can survive on his best mates couch for another night or two.0 -
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You shouldn't he's a pampered 21 year old, he's not going to be walking the streets.Worried mam wrote: »We have no idea where he went he hasn't been in touch or anythin ! I'm so worried about him
Wait for him to come back and don't immediately go apologising to him, you did nothing wrong and the little brat needs to grow up.Worried mam wrote: »Thanks for reading,I really need some help on what to do.0 -
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Ok to all that have slagged him off sayin he's immuature and so on this is why I'm so shocked cause he's always been so mature he's always being commented on how wise beyond his years he is and this is why I can't get over the whole thing.
And yes my husband is his dad.
God I feel awful about what I said I think that's what made him flip.
The look he gave me was something else, it's maiking me think he's gone for a good while.0 -
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There is another reason why I'm so worried,it's because he's a diabetic and he hasn't taken his medication for it with him.
I don't know if he has a back up supply and has that with him and just left the other one's behind but as much as everyone says "he'll be back when he's calm" or "let him go f.eck off" it's not that easy to do that I'm his mother his dad's goin out of his mind with worry too once he found he left his medication at home,he's been driving round all day looking for him,he's not at his mates houses (or so they say). 0 -
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Worried mam wrote: »I'm both embarrassed and worried after the argument I had with my son yesterday when he found my pill packet on the kitchen table which I had stupidly forgot to pick up and put away.
To give some background info me and my husband are both 50 (although I don't look it :P) I have 2 sons one 27 and the other 21 .
This has happened with my youngest.
He had seen the pill pack on the table and after some time of avoiding me yesterday he came down to me and started saying things to try and get a reaction out of me to tell him about why the pill pack was there.
I didn't say anything but instead said to him was there something bothering him and he came right out and asked what the story was with the ill packet.
Now at first I was going to give him some excuse but I decided why should I lie and said "now what do you think I have them for ?"
He looked totally shocke (obviously he had no idea we were still having sex) and went on a huge rant on how it's sick/wrong/disgusting that I'm still doing it and that if we didn't stop he'd leave.
I responded by saying "Ah just because I'm getting some and you aren't (he has recently split from his girlfriend) " He shouted at me calling me all sorts and packed his bags and left.
We have no idea where he went he hasn't been in touch or anythin ! I'm so worried about him
Thanks for reading,I really need some help on what to do.
**** me, I'm the same age as him and if my mother said that to me I'd twist a nut to:eek:
He is awfully immature about the matter though, I know my two are still at it(in fact I found condoms!:eek:)
But Im cool with that.
You should just ask him
"Will you stop having sex when your 50?" That'll (hopefully) let him see it from your perspective0 -
Worried mam wrote: »I'm both embarrassed and worried after the argument I had with my son yesterday when he found my pill packet on the kitchen table which I had stupidly forgot to pick up and put away.
To give some background info me and my husband are both 50 (although I don't look it :P) I have 2 sons one 27 and the other 21 .
This has happened with my youngest.
He had seen the pill pack on the table and after some time of avoiding me yesterday he came down to me and started saying things to try and get a reaction out of me to tell him about why the pill pack was there.
I didn't say anything but instead said to him was there something bothering him and he came right out and asked what the story was with the ill packet.
Now at first I was going to give him some excuse but I decided why should I lie and said "now what do you think I have them for ?"
He looked totally shocke (obviously he had no idea we were still having sex) and went on a huge rant on how it's sick/wrong/disgusting that I'm still doing it and that if we didn't stop he'd leave.
I responded by saying "Ah just because I'm getting some and you aren't (he has recently split from his girlfriend) " He shouted at me calling me all sorts and packed his bags and left.
We have no idea where he went he hasn't been in touch or anythin ! I'm so worried about him
Thanks for reading,I really need some help on what to do.
LoL
Thats brilliant. I honestly think that you handled the situation admirably and your son is just being an immature child. Nothing to be ashamed of at all. He seems to be the one with the issues.0 -
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No, no good parent thinks that but you have to realise that you can not control him, you can not be responsible for him not taking his meds.
You have to get it into your head around the fact that you can not control him or make him take any course of action.
You went routing in his room and are justifying it by saying you were seing what he took with him to the point you were looking in his drawers.
You do not respect your son as an adult then it is not surprising he does not respect you as an adult. Both of your comments to each other were out of line. He is over 18 and can legally if he chooses to walk away from you, the family home and never speak to you again.
Legally you can also put him out of the family home and pretty much legally have no futher responsiblity for him.
When he comes home I suggest that you sit down and talk about how to make sure that such an impass does not arise again and how you all have to live as adults in the family home and respect each other, or other wise it may well be in all your best intrests that he does move out.
Ok you don't seem to understand I didn't go snooping in his room just to have a look I went to see if he was gone for good or for a good while.
Again this is totally out of character for him as he has always been very mature I don't know why he went on like that.
He has come home and is in a pretty bad way he resentfully had to come home to get his medication.
He completely blanked me and his dad,his da went to help him up the stairs and he in no uncertain terms told him to get off and all he said was"dont worry I'm just getting these and Ill be gone so yous can get busy"
Now he's still here but asleep on his bed so I'm hoping he's himself in the morning.0 -
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I do still think you both behaved badly with your comments to each other,
if he has been through a break up of his first 'serious' relationship and could be feeling
that he may not find someone again, at that age most people seem to still think
that the world revovles around them and when they loose thier first love they think
that they will never find anyone ever again and well contrast that with the fact that
he finds out that you are still in love and still having a sex life with your husand.
Frankly he is jealous, his most recent relationship has failed and he has become aware
of the fact you are still in a real, sexual and loving relationship with your husband,
something right now he may think he will never have in his life.
If this is the reason that he went like that I feel so sad that he's feeling like that and feels like I'm rubbing it in.
He will go I know he will and he will actually have no contact one thing he does do is sticks by what he says he'll do 0 -
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Worried mam wrote: »If this is the reason that he went like that I feel so sad that he's feeling like that and feels like I'm rubbing it in.
He will go I know he will and he will actually have no contact one thing he does do is sticks by what he says he'll do
The joys of being a parent, eh?. the young lad will come to his senses, he always does. Take comfort in the fact that you rised him well and external influences could be driving him to this strange bevahiour. He'll be fine, don't worry.0 -
We can often forget how intensely young peple feel things esp when they are experiencing such emotions for the first time.
It's a situation you both have had a hand in causing and hopefull you will be able to talk to him and if you both take responsiblity for contributing to what happened you will find away to strenghten your relationship with each other and let it grow beyond parent and child.
He's gone I came out from the kitchen to find him stumbling down the stairs and out the door !
He's in no fit state to be out due to missing his medication for so long he needs to have stayed in bed while they kicked in,his da is gone after him to try to get him back,this is a nightmare . 0 -
Spoke to my son this morning and he's said he'll never live in our house again as long as me and his da are still "at it" because there's no way he's going to be in his room with us in ours "F***ing" as he put it, right beside him.
Can't believe how crazy things have gone 0 -
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Worried mam wrote: »Spoke to my son this morning and he's said he'll never live in our house again as long as me and his da are still "at it" because there's no way he's going to be in his room with us in ours "F***ing" as he put it, right beside him.
Can't believe how crazy things have gone
OK, it really seems as if there is something else going on here. Lots of people are embarassed as teenagers when they realise that their parents are having sex, but they usually get past it.
Can you try to ask him if there is something else going on in his life?0 -
Worried mam wrote: »Spoke to my son this morning and he's said he'll never live in our house again as long as me and his da are still "at it" because there's no way he's going to be in his room with us in ours "F***ing" as he put it, right beside him.
Can't believe how crazy things have gone
Where do you think he will go? Probably to one of his friends houses, who will ask him what is wrong. He will tell them and they will laugh at him for getting so upset over something so stupid and in a few days or weeks he will get over himself.
I was 13 when I was looking for paper in my parents' room and found their condoms. I had so many feelings in my head, I was seriously grossed out, a bit disturbed and I had the sudden memory that I had seen them before in my dad's locker when I was younger but hadn't known what they were. Grossed out as I was, I was also fascinated because I was 13 and had never seen a condom properly this made matters worse as I went back to look at them again the next day and there was one missing.:eek: I was so completely freaked out that I knew my parents had sex the night before.
For the next couple of weeks I was left feeling queasy at the thought, I couldn't look at my parents properly. We had always been very open about sex, I knew that my parents had sex, logically they were only in their 30's so of course they did, but the actual proof that they were was hard to take.
Everyone goes through this process at some point. The actual physical proof that your parents have sex (other than you and your siblings existence) is tough to process. Your son is very old to have this realisation, which you'd imagine would make it easier, but maybe it actually makes it tougher. Especially as he is going through a break-up right now. But once he tells his friends what is wrong, they will tell him to grow up, that of course you still have sex. That it's weird to think about, but that it's natural and he will get over it.0 -
Worried mam wrote: »Spoke to my son this morning and he's said he'll never live in our house again as long as me and his da are still "at it" because there's no way he's going to be in his room with us in ours "F***ing" as he put it, right beside him.
Can't believe how crazy things have gone
I'm sorry, but what an unbelievable brat.
I didn't think my opinion of your son could actually go down since I last posted but here we are.
Did you get any chance to apologise for what you said to him?
When he comes back, you need to tell him in no uncertain terms, that it is your house, you're 50, not dead and you're human just like him.
What does your older son think of all this?0 -
I don't think there's anythin else troubling him but if there is he'll never tell me now as he said we would never be the same again.
No I haven't spoken to his brother about it but he's away with work at the moment but I also don't relish the thoughts of tellin him about me being on the pill and what it means.
He probably has told his mate that hes staying with the reason why he's doing this.
He said he'd be over later to get the rest of his stuff .
I can't get to talk to him cause he keeps avoiding me when I try to . 0 -
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