Really worried about my dad

LegacyUser

Hi,

Hmm.. I dont know what anyone could possibly say to stop me worrying but I was hoping somebody could..

Having recently lost my mum to cancer only 6 weeks ago, I know have to worry about my dad too.

He also had cancer, however it was luckily caught in the very early stages. It was skin cancer, they removed the mole and a large amount of surrounding tissue and he is fine. He has been in remission now for a couple of years.

He told me he had been in the hospital the other day "for a routine full body scan" to make sure everything is as it should be.

I should have no reason to worry. This is just a routine check up right? But having recently lost 1 parent to cancer, I would fall apart if I found out that my dads cancer had come back. I just couldnt cope losing another parent or having to watch my dad go through what my mum did.

We get results monday. I am so scared.

CathyMoran

Firstly,

I am really sorry for your loss. I know how scared you are about your father, I get scared every time a close relative of mine gets a check up, it is normal to be concerned. I know that this may not be any help but you will get through this. Hugs.

cnocbui

I think if the original tumor had gotten to the point of metastasis (releasing lots of cancer causing cells into the rest of the body) it would have been well evident by now.

Melanoma is incredibly virulent, aggressive and rapid.

I had a close relative who died from this as they didn't get the primary tumor in time. The secondaries started showing up well inside two years.

Sorry to hear about your mother.

pol o gallachoi

I'm sure you Dad is fine but I'd say he's scared too. All you can do is be there for him as much as possible, let him know he's loved and cared for (maybe telling him that you're frightened might bring you closer).
Be hopeful and believe that all is well.

My name is URL

It sounds like an anxiety issue. You should see a physician yourself if it's weighing heavilly on your mind.

You need to look after yourself in order to be able to look after loved ones.

workaccount

Hi there,
Your a worrier by the sounds of things. Some people might say theres no point worrying as it doesn't serve any purpose but that's extremely hard to do. Even though it's hard to do you should try and remember it because you need to look after your own health also.

Are there other close people in your family - if they knew how much you are worrying they would be just as concerned for you as you are for your Dad. It's not healthy and they will not want to lose you.

Monday is not long away - You should occupy your mind...watch tv, read a book and you will forget for a while, your burden will be eased. You need to cope now just till Monday.

Best of luck to your father.

CathyMoran

Having gone through this from both sides I can not see how it would be possible not to worry, all the distractions in the world will not make you forget it - I remember jumping every time the phone rang waiting for the results. The best thing that you can do is pamper you and your dad for the weekend. The Irish Cancer Society are wonderful to talk to. www.cancer.ie

LegacyUser

Hi OP..going through very similar thing to you...just lost mother few months back and father been really ill since.
It is very tough..sometimes my Da won't tell me stuff (trying to be strong) but I have been so persistent he's starting to lean a little more on me and my siblings.
Do you have other siblings? We have got through by ringing each other when we are worried about Da...sort of shares the load a bit.
You are still in very early stages of grief, it takes a while to find your balance after losing your mum...it does get easier. I have some of my mother's clothes and it was suggested by a friend that I wear an item of my mum's clothing on particularly bad days, she had found it helped her...I did this & it was very comforting..like a hug from my mother. My brother reads one of her books when he's down and this helps him. Sorry things have been tough lately for you.