Online dating advice

LegacyUser

I messaged a woman, we're both 35, for a month, she was slow replying every time, but in her last message said its because shes not into using a computer, and never rarely even email, so she gave me her mobile number, well that sounds good

so we text that day back and forth, but not its the next day, should I text her again? or would that be too needy? like every day?

In one text I asked if I could call her, because it would be easier to talk, and she could hear what I sound like, but she said "no, lets text for a while first"

Just looking for some wisdom from boardsies

legend365

Texting is one of those things that either goes well.....or has you pulling your hair out!

If you sent the last text, the balls in her court. Just try ignore her existence and if shes really interested she'll reply.

I try avoid texting as much as possible

LegacyUser

give it a few days & then send her a general.. how are u type text..

OP why dont you keep your options open, look for other girls on the site & in real life at the same time.. so you are not too focussed on it being a big deal if it goes right or not - and then if it does then bonus!

merlie

I can only imagine she is trying to take things at a slow pace. Texting is fine but can be frustrating if you want to have a proper conversation which by the sounds of it, is something you want to do. Just give it a bit of time. I would perhaps give it a day or two and then text her again.

But, as a second guess, she may have something to hide. Not wanting to use a computer or even send an e-mail, may be an excuse as is not wanting you to call her. You could go incognito and ring her and see what happens, if she speaks you can hear how she sounds and put the phone down at least you will know if its who she says she is. Then you can text her the next day or so.

Best of luck,

Merlie

SarahMc

Its time for a real life date. There are lots of people on online dating sites who just want to email/text with no intention of actually meeting someone. Total head wreck.

If you are looking for a relationship in the real world, a month is too long already, ask her to meet you for a coffee.

LegacyUser

she might be shy about dating but from experience texts are a disaster. Phone her

G-Money

I guess it's ok to text for a while but a call would definitely help break the ice.

Also, I guess this is the cynic in me, but don't put all your eggs in one basket. It's a little annoying for someone to say they've been busy and haven't been able to text you or whatever, but they've had time to log on to the site and check all their messages from other people.

When I see that happening, their details get deleted.

Tea Spoon

Maybe she's a man and her voice would give it away?

Seriously though I wouldn't waste too much time on it. Stick at it for a few days but don't rely solely on text messages. There will be other people who want to chat to you!

vector

well, I can buy the text angle for a month, but IF you also haven't seen a photo then I'd be thinking that something is wrong, who knows what, it could be a man joking or a woman who just likes chatting, either way thats not why you (the OP) went onto a dating site

so, I next time you are thinking of sending a text, you should instead casually call her, although do it at some normal hour, a quick google reveals that calling a woman you don't know too well at night could be interpreted as a "booty call"

Firetrap

OP I don't like the sound of her to be honest. Like the others have said, there are some people who will happily text all day but when it comes to do something like having an actual telephone conversation or meeting up, they run screaming. What I've found in my life is that if someone doesn't text back soonish, they're not interested but stringing you along.

LegacyUser

I was doing internet dating up to about a year ago when I met my OH. I had been talking to a number of guys for approx a month or so and were texting etc but had not met them as I didnt really feel the desire to from the conversations we had had but enjoyed the attention tbh.

One day I was at home, sitting in the PJ's and starting 'chatting' to a guy online, we clicked, met that same night and are now living together and plan to spend our lives together.

I think its time for you and her to either meet up and see or not bother. There is no point dragging out the texting thing. It cant hurt to meet and then ye will both know if you want to progress it. If she wont commit to meeting then tbh she is not that pushed by what she has heard so far (no offense intended).

J.S. Pill

SarahMc wrote: »

There are lots of people on online dating sites who just want to email/text with no intention of actually meeting someone. Total head wreck.

Online Datee wrote: »

I had been talking to a number of guys for approx a month or so and were texting etc but had not met them as I didnt really feel the desire to from the conversations we had had but enjoyed the attention tbh.

So you kept messaging anyway? Just because you enjoyed the attention? You might want to ask yourself how the person on the other end of the phone/computer might feel about this.

LegacyUser

I've come to the firm conclusion that online dating is for losers.

I'm sorry but it's true.

I didn't jump to this conclusion but came to it after setting up an account and trying it for a while.

No offence intended.

Webmonkey

I tried it for the fun of it. Waste of time for me anyways, no one ever replied.

LegacyUser

J.S. Pill wrote: »

So you kept messaging anyway? Just because you enjoyed the attention? You might want to ask yourself how the person on the other end of the phone/computer might feel about this.

Thats what I said but I didnt mean it the way it came across.

When I started the dating thing I decided that I would get to know someone for a period of weeks before I met anyone. I was doing this and it was going well when I 'met' my OH online. I was enjoying the attention - meaning the flirting, chatting, texting etc and fully intended that if there was someone I was clicking with that I would meet him. Surely that is the point of it all? I did it a few years ago, met one guy (previous site) and went out with him for a while and then it fizzled out.

My point was that while I was chatting to those guys, in hindsight, none of them caught my attention / interest enough to make me want to ask them out or to meet them immediately without knowing anything about them. For some reason, when chatting to my now OH, all these issues went out the window cos I was incredibly interested in him. Luckily it worked out.

My point was that this girl is probably enjoying the contact but so far OP has not rocked her world from the contact they have had.

JS Pill you come across as very agressive and angry... Chillax

SarahSassy

Online Dating wrote: »

I've come to the firm conclusion that online dating is for losers.

I'm sorry but it's true.

I didn't jump to this conclusion but came to it after setting up an account and trying it for a while.

No offence intended.

Remember, when you point your finger at someone, there are 3 fingers pointing back at yourself.

J.S. Pill

Online Datee wrote: »

JS Pill you come across as very agressive and angry... Chillax

Far from it my dear. Met my current girlfriend online so I've no complaints myself. I've never had any major problems meeting women on 'real life', I just though the whole online thing would widen my choices a bit and it did. Happy days.

vector

The experience of online dating differs greatly for men and women. So to say that its for losers is too vague.

LegacyUser

If you think saying that it's for losers is too vague I'll put it this way .... it is an extremely abnormal way of going about finding a partner.

If you were going out on the pull would you go to a club where there were 10 times as many men as women ? (that question goes out to both men and women).
If you were well-adjusted you probably wouldn't.

Again, no offence intended.