Lonely and alone

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this one

Last summer I broke up with my girlfriend of the last 9 months. It just didnt feel right. Between then and last christmas I wasnt on the social scene much due to work and training commitments but over xmas I saw her again and one thing led to another. We got back together but within a week or 2 she broke up with me this time. Since then I just have not met anyone special. I went out last night for the first time in a while and tryed to got talking to a few different girls however nothing happened not even just a score.
I'm seriously going off the night club scene because I cant drink really anymore due to a medical condition. But its been nearly 4 months now without any contact with a woman and im feeling lonely. I dont think im a horrible looking guy and I am quite a confident guy. However I feel this confidence starting to drain, which is probably due to my ongoing medical condition(I have ulcerative colitis). I'm fed up of having to go to sweaty nightclubs full of drunken louts in the effort of meeting a nice girl.

Anyone feeling the same?

Katgurl

Unregistered wrote: »

Anyone feeling the same?

Yes.

I know i'm attractive / confident but i haven't met anyone special in a good while or had any romance and its starting to get me down. i'm not blessed with too much patience however.

I'm a girl btw so it goes both ways.

F1ngers

Katgurl wrote: »

Yes.

I'm a girl btw so it goes both ways.

Katgurl, meet unregistered, unregistered, meet Katgurl.

*Smiles broadly and slowly backs away*

Schism

You'll go through times like this OP, everybody does. The most important thing is to try and keep your confidence and don't try and over analyse the situation too much. Immerse yourself in something completely different and get relationship woes out of your mind.

Chin up and all that.

rustynutz

Try meeting people through Facebook and other social sites,I have a friend who broke up with his girlfriend and was struggling to meet women in clubs and pubs (he's in his 30's) so he turned to dating sites and eventualy just Facebook,we now call him a gigalo:D because he has a different woman every weekend,he reckons the amount of woman that are sick of trying to meet fellas in clubs is unreal,give it a go you might be suprised!

Hman09

Ive tried the whole nightclub scene also to meet girls but like yourself it gets nowhere. Most of the time i think about my ex when im at clubs which certainly doesnt help and sorta get a bit sad. Might give facebook a shot if all else fails. I like going out clubbing and stuff, but in dublin you get alot of slutty girls i find, all out for ego boosts or whatever.
Confidence is slowly draining with all the rejections, im not that bad looking. Slightly odd deformity but it hasnt stopped me before...its starting to get me down now.
Would getting plastic surgery help? Ive always thought about it, I have no probem about slightly changing my appearence if it boosts my confidence. I just would hope its worth it.

And F1ngers: thats hilarious , good point though.

Nervous Wreck

Just a dry-spell guys, don't let it get y'all down too much cos it happens to everyone. Seems worse when you're post-breakup but ye'll get there in the end.

Sure I'm in one myself at the moment, which sucks, but I'm gonna keep the head up. Clubs/pubs/whatever can be really fun if you're not toooo arsed about 'meeting someone special' or whatever. A few drinks and a dance with your mates and everything will be right as rain!

I'm only 22 and am anticipating quite a few of these post-breakup dryspells in my future so keeping this optimistic mindset is key for me. I'm guessing it probably is for all you guys too. Just cos you haven't found someone amazing lately doesn't diminish your character in the slightest. Sometimes ya just gotta wait it out until you find someone good enough for you!

legend365

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

Clubs/pubs/whatever can be really fun if you're not toooo arsed about 'meeting someone special' or whatever. A few drinks and a dance with your mates and everything will be right as rain!

+1

When you stop searching thats when they find you. My mate was having a dry-spell for awhile and didn't really care/go after women.Then he met someone who he cant shut up about!!

merlie

Hello OP,

I am a girl and used to go out to nightclubs a good few years ago and found that they are not the place to meet anyone nice. Its a place for flirting, flings and sometimes one night stands, which isn't the thing if you want a lasting relationship. The fact that you broke up with your gf and then got back with her only for her to break up with you, I suppose you could look at it as being, her getting her chance to break from you and it is unlikely you will get together again after that.

It sounds like you are feeling a bit down at the moment due to health issues. You need to look after yourself first, eat healthy and rest. You can get to know someone off a social networking site such as Facebook or a dating site but be careful and always get to know the person first for a while before making any decisions.

The very best of luck to you,

Kindest regards,

Merlie

Splendour

Unregistered wrote: »

I dont think im a horrible looking guy and I am quite a confident guy. However I feel this confidence starting to drain, which is probably due to my ongoing medical condition(I have ulcerative colitis).

Hi OP, is your confidence draining solely because of your medical condition or the fact that you don't have a women at the moment? Either way, this is something you have to address before you think of meeting someone. Although might I suggest looks/medical condition are not reasons for you to be alone anyway.

In pubs generally most people are drunk at the end of the night and even if you did 'just acore' this would possibly add to your loneliness.
Get down to your local library for a list of what's going on in your area. Or check online-there's alot more going on than ya think!
However if you do get involved in anything new do it for you and not just to meet a woman!!

CorkLady1983

hey guys, sounds like you are all going through a bit of down patch at the moment, it happens to everyone, have you tried the gym, other sports and socials club through work? even training for a half marathon or the like?
doing one at the moment myself, have made new friends at the gym I'm in, been to their house parties meeting even more people, and looking a little more toned in usual which can't be bad...even my friends from home complemented me on how well I looked, as I haven't been there in about two months...the hormones from the gym really are happy ones so try it your new gf/bf may be just around the corner...