Harder to orgasm since squirting

wolfric

My female friend has just learned to squirt... But for some reason she finds it harder and harder to orgasm. She says squirting feels really really good but can't figure out why she can't orgasm so easy and it takes her a long while to reach it. She tries a lot but says it becomes painful sometimes and can't reach it unless there is a lot of stimulation.
Is squirting supposed to happen easier then orgasming? If you are stimulating quite often or squirting quite often will it make it harder to orgasm? She can't seem to get them both to happen at the same time. Usually squirts a few times and then orgasms. Can this be improved in any way? i've looked up these things online and there isn't much information specific to this area.


Note: i apologise for the highly sexual nature of this post and i've checked the faq and it isn't against the rules as far as i can see. If any of the mods find this a little too muc they can feel free to delete it but would appriciate a pm in that case letting me know.

LegacyUser

Hi, I'm just wondering why it matters so much to her? I can squirt, discovered late in life and with current partner it happens for some reason with foreplay - my breasts/nipples seem very sensitve.
I don't know if it happens during intercourse (though it can happen by myself & a couple of times during oral with someone else but current partner does not like giving oral) but I have found I tend to have lots of mini multiple orgasms lately and sometimes don't come at the same time as him - maybe this is what she is experiencing. I get lots of mini waves but not the the 'big one'. When alone it's different.
I'm not complaining though as pushing 40 this is the 1st man I've ever come with etc. and I'm very relaxed with him and we started off very slow as he was less experienced and some physical issues and things just seem to get better as I've never put any pressure on him and he's blossomed.

I think if you make it almost a 'chore' to achieve it a certain way surely it will take the pleasure out. Can you try to relax and enjoy what happens and not analyse it so much?

LegacyUser

For me squirting is sometimes a different type of orgasm. It happens after A LOT of stimulation. If I haven't cum, and I have sex or I'm being fingered I'll just squirt buckets.

Sometimes it can be just the placement of a penis (sorry to be explicit) inside me - if it hits a certain position I'll just gush but there has to be loads of stimulation prior without an orgasm. It's like a build-up for me. If I cum beforehand I'm less likely to squirt. Once I squirt though I cum can cum afterwards as well.

Whats worrying in your post is that your friend says it's almost painful. Is she going dry? Is it while you are manually stimulating her? Otherwise she might consider going to the doc as it shouldn't be painful.

LegacyUser

hey this isn't advice or anything but can i just ask what is squirting?

shellyboo

Unregistered wrote: »

hey this isn't advice or anything but can i just ask what is squirting?

Female ejaculation.


OP, I have no experience in the area myself (unfortunately :P) but it seems to me that if something she's doing is impeding her ability to orgasm or making sex less enjoyable then she should stop doing it.

I know she said it's very pleasurable when she does achieve it, but perhaps if she puts less pressure on herself to get to that point and just focuses on enjoying sex - whether it results in ejaculation or not - then she'll find it comes (no pun intended) a lot easier.

My name is URL

My female friend has just learned to squirt

Dear god!


Seriously though, she's probably focussing too much on reaching climax before (or as) she squirts which is actually having a negative effect on what she's trying to achieve.

partyguinness

With that title I just had to open it up...:)

LegacyUser

I've seen women do this in a movie my boyfriend recently showed me, but to be honest, I really thought it was just something they made-up for the movie.

I'm a woman, and I'm amazed.

Can women really DO this?? And if so, HOW?????? Seriously, how do you do it?? Sorry if I'm going off-topic OP but I'd really love to know how you control your nether regions and do it!

Nevyn

partyguinness both banned for a week for unhelpful posting.

shellyboo

Unregistered wrote: »

Can women really DO this?? And if so, HOW?????? Seriously, how do you do it?? Sorry if I'm going off-topic OP but I'd really love to know how you control your nether regions and do it!

It's not the OP, it's the OP's friend who can do it. And if you google "female ejaculation" you'll find lots of info. It's very much a real thing.

Nevyn

Squirting a term used to refer to female ejaculation, which is real, does exist and does happen.

A person's sexuality, sexual process and reactions does not stay static but develops over time.

Once a female becomes ejaculatory it can be very hard to stop that process,
it's not as simple as just don't do it, pretty much the same as when a person becomes
multiorgasmic their sexuality and sexual responses have changed.

When this happens there is a transistion period as they have to relearn thier own responses and learn
how to let go in a different way and it is possible over time to separate the two responses to a point but it is difficult.

Basically it is a new learning curve as she gets to know her bodies new reactions
which can bring some frustrations and there for mental black and by the way
it is normal for female ejaculation to happen before and during orgasm.

Overheal

Unregistered wrote: »

Can women really DO this?? And if so, HOW?????? Seriously, how do you do it?? Sorry if I'm going off-topic OP but I'd really love to know how you control your nether regions and do it!

I can hardly post a link but I did once come across a video of a guru/masseuse that claimed that through regular massage of the muscle groups in your nether regions you can relax them enough to perform this amazing feat.

Wibbs

This can happen. IME it happens when the woman learned how to do this and can do it quite quickly through g spot pressure(some when fully aroused can go almost instantly from that). If previously she was used to clitoral stimulation to get to orgasm and that took a particular sequence of responses and indeed took a while, she "squirts" before her normal orgasmic response and this makes things harder to continue, as her clit gets too sensitive. It really depends on the woman. IMHO beyond the obvious of listening to her own responses, at times just do the old road to orgasm. Treat them as different orgasms kinda thing. Hopefully she'll be able to achieve both with greater ease. My take anyway.

wolfric

I appriciate the advice here guys. I do realise that it may seem that we have a stone cold agenda in mind but honestly we're just having fun but also trying new things. She has rather a high libedo so when its on going so we enjoy ourselves as well as trying to enjoy ourselves more after so often :P

As for pain i think its more that the area is senstive rather then feeling unlubricated.

Can anyone offer any advice on getting the two to coincide. Does it feel significantly better? :P Note however that we are fully relaxed and open to not having them coincide but would like to aim towards a more fully fledged experience.