Apparently true.

galwayrush · 13-05-2009 7:35pm #1

Funny but not sure if it belongs in humour as it's apparently a true story.
This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian
equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. This is a true story. Had
this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.......

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause
of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the
following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
alone on the roof of a new six-storey building. When I completed my
work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later
were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the
bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a
pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth
floor. Securing the rope at ground level I went up onto the roof, swung
the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.

Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a
slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident
report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off
the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go
of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the
building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now
proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.

This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken
collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed
only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the
fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able
to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience severe
pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight
of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you
again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent down the
side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the
barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken
tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile
of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks in pain and
unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind
and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin
its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs. I
hope this answers your inquiry?

13-05-2009 7:38pm

wow........ would have been possibly the best youtube clip ever created

wudangclan · 13-05-2009 7:38pm

he's a barrel of laughs ,that fella

phasers · 13-05-2009 7:40pm

Stupid Australians

(I expected him to get in one little fight and his mom to get scared tbh)

Fizman · 13-05-2009 7:41pm

Video or gtfo.

The Master · 13-05-2009 7:41pm

Old Old Song

The Sick Note / Paddy And The Barrel / Why Paddy's Not At Work Today / The Bricklayer's Song

Dear Sir, I write this note to you to tell you of me plight
And at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
Me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly gray
And I write this note to say why Paddy's not at work today

While working on the fourteenth floor some bricks I had to clear
Now to throw them down from such a height it was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased, he bein' an awkward sod
He said I'd have to cart them down the ladders in me hod

Now clearing all these bricks by hand it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in me haste to do the job I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me

So when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
Well, I shot up like a rocket 'til to my dismay I found
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down

Well, the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head
While I clung on tight all numb with shock from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks fourteen floors below

Now, when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope I sped towards the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks that were all scattered round

Well, I laid there groaning on the ground I thought I'd passed the worst
When the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst
Well, a shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn't got a hope
As I lay there moaning on the ground, I let go the bloody rope

The barrel then being heavier it started down once more
And landed right across me as I lay upon the floor
Well it broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today