Lost

LegacyUser

Sorry if I am going on about a subject that has been talked about recently.
How do people make friends? I remember someone say your friends for life are those from school. Is it just me or are people unapproachable or won't approach you unless it's in a pub situation with alcohol involved? I feel so lonely I can't even tell you how much. I have no friends within 2 hours drive of where I live, I live at home, have no relationship. I haven't anyone to go out with to even try and make friends and there isn't any other way of meeting people where I live and even then you already know everyone and people stay in their own groups.

Nervous Wreck

Is there some sort of club or group you could join? What about people you work with?

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

bluecell99

Hey there,

First off.Forget the school friend thing.I am in touch with nobody from school since I left in the eighties.

Common interests are the best way to meet people and develop friendships.Doesnt matter what it is - golf;knitting;Star Trek etc etc.Something you love ,a passion.The main thing is to get out there.Nobody will ever come knocking on the door.Be pro active yourself when you meet people.Smile and be friendly.

I have found the swimming pool/gym membership a great way to meet people.Start conversations in the jacuzzi!!Anything,just do not appear aloof.

Move things along to where the best place is for a drink nearby,coffee shops etc.I have met some good pals this way.Particularly people from overseas - many of whom lack the stiff ,parochial mentality of many Irish folk.

@ed ones.Be open and chat and remember many people are also looking to get out of their usual .oh so cliquey group as well and would relish an opportunity to talk to someone new.

Just dont be defeatist,get out there,never give up and remember some people are for life;many others are transient.Dont plan the future too much and stop complying with the rules which so many are guilty of ie 1/you can only be friends with people in your own age group 2/ dont ever talk to strangers 3/ go to the same places all the time 4 / get drunk all the time.

pandemonium

I hear ya! I'm repeating my leaving and I've been in 3 different secondary schools, its so hard to start over again and again and try to make friends,I've found it very hard. I changed school for the first time in ty,to an all girl school, and at that stage friendships have been made years beforehand,i hated that school, i got outed as being bi and everyone turned against me,they all assumed that because i like girls too i'm automatically going to molest each and everyone of them if left near me. So i moved again and this time i had the stigma of being the principals niece and people were reluctant to let me in because i'd "rat them out " to my aunt. I tried making friends, talking to people but again there was very well defined cliques in place. Theres only so many times you can put yourself out there only to get shot down so last year sucked. This year i'm repeating and there are huge maturity and interest gaps (I've just turned 19 and majority are only just 17) but its gotten easier and I'te made friends

RossFixxxed

Oh lord no don't make friends off boards, it's full of weirdos! One way genuinely would be to go to a boards beers. I've bumped into a few people from here and they've been really great people!

Join a group activity where you have a common interest, guitar lessons, painting, meditation whatever you're into really.

Work/college etc is where many people make friends obviously, but it takes a little courage to be the person who instiages it. Nobody in their right mind would mind someone (assuming they dont hate you) asking them to hang out. I've had people in work that are xbox fanatics invite me over for a few drinks and some gaming and I've always been chuffed. So I'd say a little confidence, find a common interest and just ask. Pints for the match?

R

MadgeBadge

Volunteer. It's a great way to meet new people. Charities, festivals and events are always crying out for volunteers, you'll meet heaps of people and hopefully have a bit of craic too.

LegacyUser

thanks for those replies.
I'm a female in my 20's. It feels harder to make friends when you're a woman than any males I know, they all seem to get on, no matter what their interests or age difference.
I don't work at the minute so no possibility of friendship there. And the town I live in hasn't any clubs or organisations or charities, except the sporting kind of clubs. Actually the town I live is in so small and sometimes backwards it probably wouldn't help matters!
Before my last relationship I had a local pub and loads of people to go out with. I've lost touch with them all through that relationship. The only people I see daily now are my parents and the odd 'hello' to some people when I'm in town.