Should I care about dead people I don't know?

Dartz

I'm not quite sure how to put this, but.... I don't care. And I find it very hard to care about people I don't personally know.

I mean, I see natural disasters and wars on television, and I'm hearing how awful it must be for those over there, and how we should send food/money/more bombs to finish it faster, and all I can think of is what's on the next channel. I know I'm supposed to natter along with the herd, just to show how much I care when I really don't.

I don't know them. I never met them. They are thousands of miles away from me, why should I care about them? Of course, I can't say that, because that would make me a horrible person. but I can't help but wonder if those around me feel the same way, and are just hiding it.

Or in another case, you hear about a death of somebody nearby, maybe known to a friend of yours, or a friend of your friend. I don't know the dead person myself, I find it hard to actually feel anything other than an absolute indifference to it.

I know what I'm supposed to say. I know I'm supposed to say things like 'Sorry for you're loss', or 'My condolences', but anytime I have, I feel horrible inside. It seems like the most pretentious thing in the world to me, a barefaced lie in the face of someone who mightn't need it. I've been on the opposite end of it, and I can't help but wonder how many of those people offering their condolences actually give two hoots.

I hate it. It sickens me to have to do it. It sickens me sometimes to see other people doing it. And yet, I'm the one who's supposed to be a horrible person, they're all the ones hiding their true feelings beneath a tapestry of lies.

Am I the only person who thinks like this, or feels the same way, or am I just ****ing weird somehow?

My name is URL

Sounds normal to me. Sure it would be better if bad sh/t didn't happen to people but it does. The only thing we should be concerned about is preparing for the same to happen to us. I'm not saying we shouldn't care or feel for the people afflicted but as usual the media blows all things out of proportion

Sharpshooter

Why should I care about this thread,I don't even know the OP.

Ludo

Dartz wrote: »

And yet, I'm the one who's supposed to be a horrible person

Yes you are.

Dartz wrote: »

or am I just ****ing weird somehow?

Again, yes you are.

But wait for all the others to come along saying they feel the same....sad fact of life in these times when a lot of people are so self centred and selfish!

Trev M

yes - next question:rolleyes:

Schism

In regard to what you said about a friend of a friend dying. You're not expected to be grief stricken for the loss of the person but you should naturally feel empathy for your friends loss. If you don't then you don't really care for them.

That's just my opinion of course.

I understand what you mean about the natural disasters though, we're generally more detatched from it since it's so far away.

Elliemental

You need to have an emotional connection with a person to really feel their loss.
Theres nothing worse than media generated grief in the style of Diana or Jade Goody.

Dartz

Schism wrote: »

In regard to what you said about a friend of a friend dying. You're not expected to be grief stricken for the loss of the person but you should naturally feel empathy for your friends loss. If you don't then you don't really care for them.

I don't think it's a lack of empathy... maybe it is. It's just that anything I'd tried to say, that I know I should say... it just feels so horrendously false, like I'm lying into their faces myself. the last thing I want to do is lie to someone when they have other problems to deal with. If it's such a bad thing to be so indifferent then, would it not be worse to fake it otherwise?

phasers

Whatever

ynotdu

Question is did they care about You?Since they did not know You i guess the answer is nope!:pac:


Seriously I know were you are coming from,I also hate not having the feelings i *should* have(as dictated by societys norms)at times.
If we did not have switch off defense mechanisms against global woes(as in worrying 24/7)I think we would all go mad.


accept the things we cannot change.

try to change the things we can.

and have the wisdom to know the diffrience! is all we can do:)

Schism

Dartz wrote: »

I don't think it's a lack of empathy... maybe it is. It's just that anything I'd tried to say, that I know I should say... it just feels so horrendously false, like I'm lying into their faces myself. the last thing I want to do is lie to someone when they have other problems to deal with.

These things are always delicate, what kind of things would you say are false in these situations? Some people do go overboard I find.

PirateShampoo

I think we have all been de-sensitized anyway. We are constantly bombarded with news or wars and death and what not.

20 years ago you wouldn't know what a murder looked like, now you can actually watch them happen on the internet.

How many people here would be horrified if one happened on there street. You would talk about it for a month at max.

Dartz

Schism wrote: »

These things are always delicate, what kind of things would you say are false in these situations? Some people do go overboard I find.

Normally I just say nothing. It's better to say nothing, than say the wrong thing, I think. At least nothing isn't going to blow up in my face, or cause a bigger mess in the future somehow. It's best to leave people with their personal space, rather than actually get inside where you're not wanted.

The last thing I want to be is one of those people who go overboard. I met one once, and couldn't get far enough away from them. They're more annoying.

Of course, if they came actively looking for me, I'd have no idea what I could actually say.

Schism

It could be worse OP, don't worry so much. The best thing you can do in one of those situations is to be comforting.

Denerick

The OP is worse than Hitler.

Twilightning

There will be a lot of self-righteous tossers posting in opposition to the OP's opinion but it reality, it's what the majority of us all feel. It's not that he's applauding or taking pleasure in the suffering of others; I'm sure he acknowledges the suffering that goes on in this world just as much as you or I, he just doesn't care enough to let it get him down, which is completely normal human behaviour in itself.

I'm sure alot of you posting here can't say you've never switched off a Concern ad asking you for donations to war-torn nations in Africa because you'd rather find a program to keep you entertained for the next 30 minutes. It's not that you don't feel empathy, you just don't really care since it doesn't affect you.

I have no problem saying it doesn't affect me, therefore I don't care.

Terry

Any death is sad.
However, there are 6 billion people on this planet and someone dies every second (or thereabouts).
If you start concerning yourself with tragedies (remember, every death is a tragedy to someone), then your entire life will be spent crying over the deats of people you have no idea even died.

There's another one. And another.
2,000 in an earthquake.
Another mother's son in Malaysia.
Some Japanese chick.
And so forth.

stovelid

Define care. Tongues or no tongues?

missingtime

Apathy..ugh!

ynotdu

Denerick wrote: »

The OP is worse than Hitler.

Denerick,I have reported Your post.Its outrages.


If You do not understand genuine angst and someone(the OP)trying to struggle with being genuine and true to themself?..............


saying the OP is worse than Hitler,actually says a lot more about You.

Denerick

ynotdu wrote: »

Denerick,I have reported Your post.Its outrages.


If You do not understand genuine angst and someone(the OP)trying to struggle with being genuine and true to themself?..............


saying the OP is worse than Hitler,actually says a lot more about You.

Someone please help this chap understand what I said in my post. Try spellcheck pal.

TheZohanS

Dartz wrote: »

Am I the only person who thinks like this, or feels the same way, or am I just ****ing weird somehow?

Is your surname Vader?

ynotdu

Denerick wrote: »

Someone please help this chap understand what I said in my post. Try spellcheck pal.

Someone please help Denerick,he thinks bringing Hitler&putting a poster here as less than hitler is funny/ironic(or worse he means it)
I,ll read up on my spelling if You read up on Your history,my dear chap!


spellcheck is the only way you can defend the hitler post?

well ar,nt You the lucky one?

a lot luckier than anybody who lost their lives in ww2 fighting for someone like You to have free speech.

dsmythy

If i see a disaster on tv where say 2,000 people died, sure i'd say it sucks for them, however outside of that i move on. Most people do.

Sharpshooter

It's how we roll in AHs.:)
Take time to read through some threads that look serious, and you will understand what I am saying.

javaboy

Look it's a joke of sorts comparing people to Hitler when clearly they're not anywhere near his level. If you're going to get offended by comparisons to Nazis and Hitler, then you're going to have an upsetting time on internet forums in general.

@Denerick: the spellcheck comment is unnecessary.

Let it go both of you.

ynotdu

javaboy wrote: »

Look it's a joke of sorts comparing people to Hitler when clearly they're not anywhere near his level. If you're going to get offended by comparisons to Nazis and Hitler, then you're going to have an upsetting time on internet forums in general.

@Denerick: the spellcheck comment is unnecessary.

Let it go both of you.

I when i put my mind to it can handle the internet very well thank you.
I also enjoy black humour very much.
I wont defend or laugh at the indefensible though so i will say goodbye to you,s in after hours and unsubscribe from it now.

tech77

Terry wrote: »

Any death is sad.
However, there are 6 billion people on this planet and someone dies every second (or thereabouts).
If you start concerning yourself with tragedies (remember, every death is a tragedy to someone), then your entire life will be spent crying over the deats of people you have no idea even died.

There's another one. And another.
2,000 in an earthquake.
Another mother's son in Malaysia.
Some Japanese chick.
And so forth.

Aw no... not a japanese chick.
Was she hot?

dsmythy

ynotdu wrote: »

I when i put my mind to it can handle the internet very well thank you.
I also enjoy black humour very much.
I wont defend or laugh at the indefensible though so i will say goodbye to you,s in after hours and unsubscribe from it now.

oh noes

Sharpshooter

Probably for the best.:(

Denerick

I wont defend or laugh at the indefensible though so i will say goodbye to you,s in after hours and unsubscribe from it now.

Good lord. Good riddance to bad rubbish?

Naos

ynotdu wrote: »

I when i put my mind to it can handle the internet very well thank you.
I also enjoy black humour very much.
I wont defend or laugh at the indefensible though so i will say goodbye to you,s in after hours and unsubscribe from it now.

You said black, you're worse than the KKK! :pac:

helimachoptor

Stuff on the TV, yes its a tragedy but am I that bothered... no mainly because I have no personal interest in it.

My GF will say her dads uncle died.. same as above 0 interest in that. If I dont know someone it makes no difference to me if they die or not.

Tricity Bendix

You're all ugly on the inside.