Angry

LegacyUser

Every month I go through hell, I am female - so you guys wont experience this,
I feel like i am going to end it all, i hate myself so much, i hate me, i hate my looks, i tried diets, nothing worked, i dont look well, i dont eat meat, dont drink, dont smoke wish i did though people who smoke always seem to be a lot happier in themselves, When i was younger my mother wouldnt allow me to have anything, i had no friends wasnt allowed out after school, when i did go out if was always very short. as i got older it got worst until i moved out and got my own place in my 20s but now i am in my 30s married 6years no kids and i hate myself, i cant stand been around others, i dont have any friends really, i am angry every month, and it seems to have got worst- I tried talking to my GP and they told me i depressed and gave anti depression which i am not going to take went down that road already they do nothing for you, when you come off them you are 100 times worst, I want to try something different but not sure on a good approach plus also i am tight budget...
I think my monthly cycle has a lot to do it with, my moods seem to a lot worst when i have them. sorry i am ranting just no real friends to rant to , they are all to into getting pregnant and having babies, to listen to me.......... help me someone, maybe if i was dead i would be bette off, sometime i think about going out in front of the maynooth train but that wouldnt be fair on the people getting into work... so i am caring in some ways ! please help me???? please

Kevster

Hi,

As a person who has fleeting thoughts of death each day, I think that I can relate to you in some ways. Firstly, regarding anti-depressants, they only work if you don't sit around waiting for them to work. What you should do is just take them and then get on with your life. They are in no way magic pills that will take away your pain. I took one for 4 years and am now off them since last Christmas.

What you ultimately must do is do things differently. Right now, your life is very much stale and needs freshness. If you would like to try to get your hormone levels under control, then go back to your GP and demand that he/she look upon your problem from that angle (or else just go to a different GP).

Tell me, what have you always wanted to do in life?

Take care,
Kevin

LegacyUser

Hi Kevin
Thank you for replying, dont really want to take tablets at all. was on valium for while and i changed totually i became someone esle coming off them was hell on earth.. so i kind of have a negative approach to taking tablets. GP doesnt listen to what i say, have been to 3 different GPs in the last year, and they have sent referrals on my behalf to various clinics which i have always gone. no one listens to you, they tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself and go out and enjoy life. have done it but i am not happy in myself. I just want to be happy for once, no anger feeling just a sense of peace within me.
And the answer to you the question you asked is all i want to do in life is to have a baby and be mom so i can give the love and happiness to something that is mine, and get the love and happy feeling returned.....

ellie1

So your angry that your past life was unhappy and that your present life hasnt turned out the way you imagined it.

Its okay to be angry and frustrated about your life.

In order to get past the anger and find peace, you have to accept the anger and dissapointments which have caused the anger. You may be able to do this alone but I would reccommend seeing a counsellor. Tellhim/her bout your feeling nobody hears you or listens before you start.

Are you trying to get pregnant and its not happening. Is this another reason your angry?

Kevster

want out wrote: »

Hi Kevin
Thank you for replying, dont really want to take tablets at all. was on valium for while and i changed totually i became someone esle coming off them was hell on earth.. so i kind of have a negative approach to taking tablets. GP doesnt listen to what i say, have been to 3 different GPs in the last year, and they have sent referrals on my behalf to various clinics which i have always gone. no one listens to you, they tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself and go out and enjoy life. have done it but i am not happy in myself. I just want to be happy for once, no anger feeling just a sense of peace within me.
And the answer to you the question you asked is all i want to do in life is to have a baby and be mom so i can give the love and happiness to something that is mine, and get the love and happy feeling returned.....

Hi,

If that is all they are saying to you, then they obviously don't understand what it is to feel like this (i.e. - like you are feeling). GPs are exacty what their title suggest - general doctors. As such, they aren't really great for specific treatments. My GP was okay, but I had to go to a therapist top help lift me out of my suicidal behaviour all of those years ago.

Anyway, if all that you want is to have a baby, be in love, and be happy, then this is what you should obviously try hard to get. That's easier said than done - of course - but you must start by being more receptive to attention that you get from guys. The last time I checked, a guy is needed to have a baby! I'll have to double-check that though... ...:p

Take care,
Kevin

She Devil

I'm not a doctor but its sounds like maybe you need hormone replacement tablets ... you need your mind in the right place to have a baby OP, so you have to fix you before you expect a poor defenceless child to fix you. I know that sucks, go see a councellor and talk to them .. by getting it out there and understanding what the issue is you will probably start feeling more energetic and full of life ... best of luck with it x

aare

Try taking vitamin B6...at least 200mg a day, for the "crucial week".

It kept me out of a straightjacket for decades. You can also try evening primrose oil...it didn't touch me, but other people swear by it.

When I have PMS my actual vision seems distorted, everything about me, and everything I own, or am responsible for looks unbearably shabby and grubby...yet everything ELSE looks normal.

Even the engine of my car sounds sick...

...and it is all just distorted perception.

dreamlogic

You could try Agnus Castus for PMS. It's available in health food stores. I haven't tried it myself (yet) but I've heard a few people vouch for it. Which is not to say it would work for everyone, but worth a try I'd say.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I was sooo where you are right now,

I was badly treated as a child, abused physically and sexually and had no father and a mother who controlled everything about me, It was like a living hell and then she left me when i was 18.

I went out into the big bad world with very little support or life lines, I had a breakdown when i was 20 and i just thought this is not worth living through, it gave me comfort at the time to think i could end it but i always said i would try therapy first, like you doctors did not help me at all and they are too quick to recommend drugs.

I went to the free therapy provided by the government but i eventually needed more professional therapist for the abuse i had suffered, but there was a group therapy in clontarf called laragh -i attended which was free and it all really helped me.

I am 31 now and my life is truly turned around, I had to live through some tough times but if i knew it would be all worth it for where i am now i would have felt better about all the pain i went through because i just thought it was never going to end! With all the emotional work i did i managed to heal, i became very strong with the new skills i got from the therapy and i stopped allowing people walk over me, but the real thing i did manage to do was to love myself,

I had so much self hatred because of all the negativity i picked up from my mother, I used to want to hurt myself a lot and i just blamed myself for everything,

Honestly if you start here really small just trying to be nicer to yourself and treat yourself better you will see results, I loved the book YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE from LOUISE HAY and the SECRET, for the last year i have been using the vision boards and i have manifested all my dreams, I basically had no money, no home overweight, no family, just surviving, and then all the healing i was doing with reiki, and therapy started to kick in and i was putting more positive vibes out into the world which came back to me, My granddad ended up leaving me his house which i sold and made a small fortune which has just enabled me to buy a dream house in the country, writing this i am still pinching myself....

I just wanted to represent a person who did turn it around, who had suffered from depression for 10 years and still managed to change my thoughts to love myself,


It is possible to heal it is just time to get selfish, your mother controlled you when you were a child and now she is controlling you as an adult, your goal is to love you and erase her negative chatter from your mind- replace it with your new compassionate voice and watch the magic happen,


G'luck,

desire, ask believe, receive.