do you only have onetrue love in life and was this mine

LegacyUser

My question is as title says can you only have one true love in life
a few years ago I fell head of over heals in love with someone due to my own hang up's nothing happened between us I truly believe that he was the one for me he is now dating someone but if he ever becomes single again I will ask him out but my point is that any other man I’ve meet since is just not him not matter how hard I try I don't get the same feeling's for anyone else he made me go weak at the knees butterflies felt like the only girl in the world when with him does this only happen once in a lifetime ????
Or will somebody else make me feel this way again

Kevster

Hi,

The answer to your question is most definately 'no' - i.e. you can love more than one person, very much so. Your problem is that you are [probably] comparing each new guy with the old guy, and you will never be happy that way. That guy is in the past, and I'm sure that he had/has flaws too. Everyone you meet will have flaws, but they will also have positives.

Open up your mind and heart and change the way you look at new guys. Maybe give them more chance than you are currently giving them. Alternatively, stop looking in the same places for guys; maybe even look at the guys that you'd never really have noticed before.

Take care and good luck,
Kevin

cltt97

I've had 3 big loves in my life, you love each of them in a different way, but with the same intensity, and when it falls apart as it sometimes does, you keep them in your heart, but you still will have room for someone else. I think your issue is that you're putting this man on a pedistal and you imagine the perfect relationship with him. Noone will be able to live up to that, not even he himself!

Greyfox

cltt97 wrote: »

I think your issue is that you're putting this man on a pedistal and you imagine the perfect relationship with him. Noone will be able to live up to that, not even he himself!

This sounds right to me. The answer to your question is definitely no, you can meet someone else and have the same feelings for another guy like you had for this guy but first you have to make sure this guy is completely out of your system! While he's still somewhere in your system you've no chance of having that feeling again!

Dizzyblonde

The concept of 'one true love' is rubbish. There are lots of men out there that you could love and be really happy with. As Greyfox said, being hung up on this guy will really hold you back.

Terodil

If some people haven't found their true love it does not necessarily mean it does not exist. I know of at least two cases of 'true love': unconditional, deep love completely unaffected by the little storms every relationship has to weather.

OP: Don't get stuck on this, it might have worked or it might not, you'll never know. You need to move on. True love is very, very rare. I hope you find yours.

Dudess

OP, why would there be only one? What would cause that to be the case? Of course you can fall head over heels in love more than once.

aare

I don't believe there is only only "one true love" for everyone...

But I know there are usually only very few...and I think you just haven't found another one yet.

Five years is quite a long time...but if, the way the dice fell means you haven't actually met someone else you could fall in love with, then that is the way it is.

Neat thing about statistics is that the longer it is since something last happened, the more likely it is to happen tomorrow.

It seems reasonable to intend to ask this guy out if he is ever free again...but be very careful you don't miss another of those very few loves in the meanwhile?

Good Luck

LegacyUser

op here . thank you all for your kind words

will try to be a bit more open to new people and maybe i'll feel this way again
thanks

star-pants

Whilst I like the idea of fairytale 'one guy' I've had to realise it's not always that way.

Some people find their true love yes, some lose them, and can find new ones.

I had a bad breakup before, and I really thought that was it for me, going to be single cat lady. But, I met a guy who really swept me off my feet, way more than I thought possible. Thus restoring my faith. That has since not worked out and I just have to hope that's not it for me. That I'll not find love again.

We all compare someone great to future people, because we were comfortable with that person, things were good etc. BUT the only way to move on is to take them down from the pedestal, not that they weren't great but that they're not in your heart to be compared to the next.
Sometimes what holds us back is that we can't let go, that noones right or good enough. You need to give guys a chance, we all go through a few bad ones to get to a good one sometimes.

username123

star-pants wrote: »

Whilst I like the idea of fairytale 'one guy' I've had to realise it's not always that way.

Some people find their true love yes, some lose them, and can find new ones.

I had a bad breakup before, and I really thought that was it for me, going to be single cat lady. But, I met a guy who really swept me off my feet, way more than I thought possible. Thus restoring my faith. That has since not worked out and I just have to hope that's not it for me. That I'll not find love again.

We all compare someone great to future people, because we were comfortable with that person, things were good etc. BUT the only way to move on is to take them down from the pedestal, not that they weren't great but that they're not in your heart to be compared to the next.
Sometimes what holds us back is that we can't let go, that noones right or good enough. You need to give guys a chance, we all go through a few bad ones to get to a good one sometimes.

+1

My partner says if he died he would like to think that I would hook up with someone new and not be single cat lady (unless I wanted to be single cat lady of course).
Id hope the same for him.

I believe we all have the capacity for many great loves. Sometimes circumstance allows us to remain with the same one for life, other times it doesnt.

zxcvbnm1

One true love?

DO some people really actually entertain such a daft notion?

honey79

I personally don't think it's a case of one true love but your first love and i think that's something that you will always remember because it's all so new and a lot of firsts so this is probaly why you judge everything by first as now you have something to compare it with but not matter what don't settle you will feel that way again about somebody maybe just give them a bit more time before walking away good luck with your search it will happen

There is no sign that there is only one true love for everyone. Everything in this world seems to have a limit, from money to fossil fuels… with the exception of the human hearts capacity for love.

For example does a parent who loves one child with all their heart love the next child any less?

I myself am in a truple, rather than a couple. I live with two girls and we all love each other very much. None of us feel we love either of the other two more, or less. We continually shock each other with the depths of love we are capable of.

If we can do that in parallel then there is no reason you can not do it sequentially.

Not to mention the wealth of anecdotal evidence. We all know of someone who has lost a partner for any reason from death to break ups and have moved on and married / loved again.

The only thing I will say is you never love two people _the same_ ever. That is not to say “more” or “less”. It is just not the same. So although you may never love anyone the exact same ever again, you will likely find someone who will blow you away just as much, just as powerfully and bring you just as much joy and contentment.

I, for one, wish you luck!

mam1

While I understand what your going through(from peronal exp) I know that there is someone for everyone, a long time ago I thought I wouldnt live without my ex, a wise woman told me to stop looking through rose tinted glasses at the relationship and give an ordinary lad a chance so I did, kissed a few frogs then met a king...fast forward 10 years married baba hapy as proferbial pig in s*** so take it easy and look around Mr. Right probably just under your nose

LegacyUser

There are 3.5 billion men in the world.

Once I heard someone from expensive dating agency that the average client dates 20 people before finding a match, something I've found true from my single dating years.

3.5 billion men... a posible match with 1 in 20 ... the odds are pretty good.

In my experience you can love time and time again, as long as you don't get hung up on one person. Take heed!

PhysiologyRocks

I don't believe in "one true love".

A friend graduated from a class of roughly 25 men and 25 women. By the end of 4 years there were 5 married couples. All are together and (seemingly) happy today. Statistically, what are the chances that those people were each other's ''the one'', they all joined the same course in the same year, lived in the same country, same county, same college, same class etc.?

There is such thing as compatibility, but there is more than one person out there.