Why Am I Always Angry?

LegacyUser

Had to go Unreggd for this
I dont actually feel angry, i dont feel it boiling up, it just snaps out a little.
If my OH says something thats lets say, questioning something ive already explained
or asks something she knows i wont have the answer to, i just blurt out something.
A lot of the time they are just innocent questions but suddenly im on the defensive
I dont even realise i do it until i see thats she is annoyed at me and then i feel guilty about it.
Even the same with my parents.
I've nothing to be angry about. Sure we all have our annoyances but i dont FEEL angry.
I dont mean to do it.
I have never lashed out or tried to hit anybody, i am not the fighting type. I would never ever hit my OH (she would kill me )
I just dont understand it.
Its not agressive but just a quick blurt of,
"How the **** am i supposed to know" or something to that effect depending on the topic of conversation.
Im at a loss here in understanding it...
Can anyone shed any light on this?

Victor

Are there background things that are stressing you and these small things are the straw that broke the camel's back?

LegacyUser

Victor wrote: »

Are there background things that are stressing you and these small things are the straw that broke the camel's back?

OP HERE
No not really, Ive been like this for a few years now.
Just dont get it

kittenkiller

Perhaps you've just gotten used to reacting like that since you hit adolescence?

I know it might sound weird right... but hear me out.
I have a tendency to snap at people too and at the time it feels totally justified.

When we hit our teens we feel like we know it all and if someone questions us it's like a challenge to our wisdom. A lot of teens will answer in a defensive manner automatically.
Usually this is a phase that we get over naturally.
However, if no one knocks you off your perch or you don't notice your reactions pushing people away, then there's no incentive to mature past this point.

You'll probably be able to identify dozens of times where you responded to someone or something and regretted it because you hurt someone or bullied them into being quiet or put those around you generally on edge.
If someone treated you as you treat other people you'd probably want to go through them for a short cut!

Try to give people the benefit of the doubt in the future.
If someone boils your blood, pause and rephrase what you would have normally blurted out so you don't seem as agressive.
It'll take years off you.
If you use more neutral language and don't focus on the things that p1ss you off, you'll be happier in general.
It's so easy to get yourself in a bad mood and take it out on others.
Trying a few weeks thinking about what you say and how you react before you plough ahead might turn things around.

Best of luck.

cltt97

Do you sleep enough? What's your diet like? Are you physically active? Maybe you're physically lacking in something or maybe your hormones are out of kilter. Or maybe you're emotionally lacking in something, your little snaps could be due to an underlying frustration?

LegacyUser

It's your ego, read A New Earth to understand how your ego is controlling you.