Unreleased anger

Velvet Vocals

I'm so fuIking angry.... :mad:

2 weeks ago I had a miscarriage. its been the most painful and upsetting thing I've ever been through. Everyone I know has been and is being so nice to me. I never would have gotten through the first week if it wasnt for my mother and my partner. but now..... now I want to kill someone.......I'm serious I'm so fu*king angry. everyone is so nice and kind which makes me feel like a complete bitch but I'm even thinking about picking a fight with my flatmate over the dishes just to let loose on someone......I wont of course becsause thats not the kind of person I am but I sware I wish someone would bump into me on the street so I could freak out.

I know that anyone I say this to will tell me this is a normal reaction, but I have never felt anger like this. I actually logged on to board tonight looking for someone that disagreed with me on anything....... I found lots but didn't say anything......:rolleyes::rolleyes:

anyway..... there is it......... I'm angry and don't have anywhere to direct it.... god... did he decide my baby wasnt for me???? was it my fault???? was the timing not right???? or was it just like the doctors said, complicated cells????? whatever I wish I had punch bag

baglady

hi sweetie,

well I am so sorry for what you have gone through. I have never experienced it myself but I have a few friends who have incl one who had a v sick baby who had to carry her full term knowing she would not survive. I believe what you are feeling is very normal. You are trying to express your grief. I don't know if you are in college but if you are then you should go see the college councellor. otherwise maybe you could go talk to someone about it.

it is obvious you are upset and downtrodden due to the miscarriage, in time you will get through this hun, you just need to let it all out and speak to someone. making a scene at a stranger wont be the way to solve this, you need to get through this grieving processs yourself. talk to your mom and OH. NO THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!! you did nothing wrong, I know this sounds stupid to you (coming from a stranger) but you did nothing to cause it. what u are feeling is normal. I can only suggest talking to a professional.

I know this is hard for you sweetie but you will get through this and you will survive, be thankful u have ur mom and OH. I just wish you the very very very best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Velvet Vocals

thanks so much baglady. no I'm not in college, but you're right, I do need to talk to someone. I'm going to France for a holiday soon and when I get back I'll organise something. I know of a very good councilor in my area, I'll make an appointment.
I know that these are the sensible things to do and the right things, but I really do want to smash someones face in... metaphorically of course!!!!!

Thanks again!!!!!!!!

star-pants

Baglady is right, it's hard and it's unfair and people get really angry after a while.

You put effort, emotion, time, care into this and for it to not go right? You want someone to blame, that person is NOT you. I can't imagine the pain and loss you feel over this, but you should vent the anger. Maybe get a punchbag and beat the crap out of it.
Talking to a professional may also be a really good idea, just even getting to speak your mind, vent and have them perhaps help rationalise your thoughts. It's grieving, which takes a while and we go through all the stages of it. Anger being one of them.

You will get past this *hug* and I do wish you the best

Velvet Vocals

star-pants wrote: »

Baglady is right, it's hard and it's unfair and people get really angry after a while.

You put effort, emotion, time, care into this and for it to not go right? You want someone to blame, that person is NOT you. I can't imagine the pain and loss you feel over this, but you should vent the anger. Maybe get a punchbag and beat the crap out of it.
Talking to a professional may also be a really good idea, just even getting to speak your mind, vent and have them perhaps help rationalise your thoughts. It's grieving, which takes a while and we go through all the stages of it. Anger being one of them.

You will get past this *hug* and I do wish you the best

thanks star-pants. i'm seriously considering the punch bag! and I will go and see someone.

Thanks for the hug!!!!

Velvet Vocals

Anger is starting to fade now but its still there bubbling under the surface. I think I preferred when I was I in physical pain and could take the pain killers.... I wish there was a pill or patch I could use to get rid of these horrible feelings.

star-pants

Velvet Vocals wrote: »

Anger is starting to fade now but its still there bubbling under the surface. I think I preferred when I was I in physical pain and could take the pain killers.... I wish there was a pill or patch I could use to get rid of these horrible feelings.

I know what you mean (in a way) it's easier sometimes to deal with physical pain than mental pain. Physical pain you can see and can take something for it, and can see /feel it getting better over time. Like a bruise fading or a cut healing. But with emotional pain, there's nothing to show on the outside, nothing to put a plaster on or cream on, and so it's hard to figure out how to heal it. But you will get there hun, just takes time. And I'm glad your anger is fading (even if only temporarily) because that's a good sign.

Queen-Mise

get the pads your partner holds. And punch them.

They are not very expensive in argos.

I did this a few years ago and helped loads with my anger. Its nice doing it this way because your not on your own working through the anger.
And you can do it as often as you like. Very often i ended up in tears afterwards, which is ok.

A very practical idea. Mind yourself.

Velvet Vocals

yeah, thats not a bad idea, I'd have to have my partner wear a fully body suit though, coz once I start punching I feel I wont be able to stop.

Thanks star-pants, I know it'll take time. I'm going away on Friday to France (my parents have a house there) I hope that I'll be able to really relax there and start feeling normal again.