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Parents/GF won't leave me alone after attempted suicide.

  • 09-05-2009 12:21AM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi, sorry but have to go unreged for this. I'm just looking for advice on how to get my parents to leave me alone and stop clucking round me all the time now ? What happened was my ma came into my room and saw me doing it and stopped me which pissed me off somethin terrible cause I dont think I've the bottle to try it again now as it took so much to do in the first place but that's neither here nor there. Since I tried they're coming into wherever I am and making excuses as to why theyre in the room or if i go out one of them would ring me every so often or they'd get my brother to call me,now they dont actually say it's to check on me but that's why they do it. It's been non stop every few mins and it's wrecking my head !
    How do I get them to stop this cause I can't take much more of it ! I don't know how to put them at ease !
    Thanks for reading and for any advice :)


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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,005 ✭✭✭Ann22


    They're only doing it 'cos they love you, for what reason do you want them to stop checking up on you?
    When you said this -''my ma came into my room and saw me doing it and stopped me which pissed me off somethin terrible cause I dont think I've the bottle to try it again now'', it made me suspect that you would do it again if you could gather up the courage. It's a good thing that they are looking out for you 'til you get past this dark time.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,318 ✭✭✭O'Coonassa


    Why you trying to off yourself? It's a short enough ride and that's where you're headed anyhow. What's so bad you can't sit it out?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I do not want to sound judgmental because I dont feel suicidal so I certainly dont know what your going through so please dont take this to be me judging you....

    Have you any idea how selfish you are? Suicide is the most selfish thing someone can do, even if its the only solution to your problem. Im coming in from the angle of OF COURSE YOUR PARENTS ARE GONNA CHECK UP ON YOU AND BE WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!!!

    If you kill yourself thats grand your gone but your parents for the rest of their lives have to live with the huge loss, do you actually think they will stop checking up on you to let yourself go ahead and top yourself???

    Why do you want to kill yourself anyway? I ask cos there has to be a way of solving this problem.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 259 ✭✭bluecell99


    Your folks are watching out for cos thats part of their job as parents.It must have been so,so hard for them to see what was happening and nearly losing you.By developing yourself and becoming a mature person then the checking will fade away.Try to see it from their point of view.Discuss maybe.It's hard for them to get their heads round it.Do you talk to them?Nobody is against you.

    Have you discussed your feelings with anyone else?Lets hope you dont feel this way again and you will find a way through.Talking always helps.Not just with your folks.Nothing is ever as bad as that.All of us have problems in life.Stress,to some extent will always be there.Please try to see how some people are worse off.Have you ever been to a childrens hospital and see how the little ones struggle for life after ten hours complicated surgery?See the reactions of the mams and dads when the good news comes through that they will be ok.

    Equally nothing can describe the loss of their children if the worst comes to the worst.The point is no son or daughter should ever inflict such pain by deliberately ending their life.Life can be great.Its there for you now.

    Please talk,talk and talk again.Even if you become a pain in the butt.Just do and dont carry problems by yourslf.


  • Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Ariana Jolly Earth


    Have you any idea how selfish you are? Suicide is the most selfish thing someone can do, even if its the only solution to your problem.

    Will you get a f* grip? Someone is going through enough trauma that they want to kill themselves and you're here spouting a guilt-trip rant and trying to make them feel WORSE?
    Yes it may be selfish - so what? Forcing someone to live in misery so you feel better isnt?
    God, I have no idea what the op is or is not going through and it may be very little, it may be a lot - but regardless, this attitude really p* me off. Not to mention if they're suffering a chemical imbalance depression they may not be rationalising or thinking the same way in the first place.
    :mad:

    OP I suggest you get yourself to a therapist/counsellor/psych/whatever asap and try working through your problems. Sometimes we can't see an answer right in front of us til we get some perspective and help. If your family know this they will also feel a bit better I am sure and may give you some breathing room again. I also suggest you try talking things through with them as well as such an obviously supportive family would be only happy to try help.


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  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,361 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    It's been non stop every few mins and it's wrecking my head !
    How do I get them to stop this cause I can't take much more of it ! I don't know how to put them at ease !

    You're joking right?
    Your parents, who love and care for you, have been totally and utterly freaked out by what you did and now you are surprised that they are keeping a close eye on you?
    They will not stop until they can trust that you will not do this again.

    Have you started seeing a professional to help you through this?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi,thanks for all the replies I'll try to get round to them all when I can it's just hard to get on here with them seeing that I'm on here talking about them so please don't think I'm just not replying to you.
    Beruthiel wrote: »
    You're joking right?
    Your parents, who love and care for you, have been totally and utterly freaked out by what you did and now you are surprised that they are keeping a close eye on you?
    They will not stop until they can trust that you will not do this again.

    Have you started seeing a professional to help you through this?

    No I'm not surprised that they're doing it as I said I know why they are but I don't know how to get them to ease down.
    I don't feel I need to see someone about it even though I keep hearing it over and over.
    I know what I tried to do and all the comes with it I know,I'm totally open and honest about it I'm not confused about any of it I know why I did it and also cause I feel embarrassed about it cause if you knew me I'd be the last person you would ever think would do it.

    Like so far in the last hour my mam has come in to me about 8 times (I've lost count) to check on the dressings on my arms I don't want them stressing like this !


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Talk to the people around you about why you feel so down about life that you tried to end it, perhaps if they see how you are feeling they might listen to what you need them to give you to feel better, be that space, love, listening or whatever else


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    From experience (not the same exact way) but my brother decided to try and OD on neurofen back in January. My mother went into him in the morning & he said 'it didn't work' she asked what and he told her. Suffice to say my mother was distraught. Took a lot of calming her down (from me). She brought him to the doctor and things were ok (tablet taking wise). But for the next two months at least, she checked on him regularly. Excuses to come into the room, excuses to talk, anything. Also to make sure he knew we were there for him. To know that he could talk to us or come to us if he felt bad. She hid all the medication and worried every night she went to sleep for fear she might wake up and he'd done something. She didnt' sleep properly for weeks.

    We got him to a psychologist and he's been getting a lot better. As my mother has seen improvements she's backed off. I also told her she can't sit over him 24/7 either, not good for him or her.

    In your case you say you know why you tried what you did, yet you say you don't have the bottle to try again, that suggests you would do it again if you could. I do really really suggest you go see someone about this. Even just to talk out how you're feeling about things now, with your parents, with your life etc.
    You can try talking to your parents if you feel up to it, but until they see in time you getting better they're not going to leave your side. They're your parents and love you and probably feel guilty over what has happened. I know my mother felt it was her fault.
    (I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty btw, I'm just explaining how things are from their side. Wouldn't you want to take care of someone you care about if you thought they were in danger/trouble?).


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Ann22 wrote: »
    They're only doing it 'cos they love you, for what reason do you want them to stop checking up on you?
    When you said this -''my ma came into my room and saw me doing it and stopped me which pissed me off something terrible cause I don’t think I've the bottle to try it again now'', it made me suspect that you would do it again if you could gather up the courage. It's a good thing that they are looking out for you 'til you get past this dark time.

    I don’t know if I would try it again after this though and I know why they are checking on me and I do want them to stop because it’s wearing thin with me now even if they stopped for half an hour or so it wouldn’t be so bad.
    O'Coonassa wrote: »
    Why you trying to off yourself? It's a short enough ride and that's where you're headed anyhow. What's so bad you can't sit it out?
    Why do you want to kill yourself anyway? I ask cos there has to be a way of solving this problem.

    I’m just sick of always trying and it never working out always being used and always trying to help people and them throwing it back in your face, that’s part of the reason.
    No energy anymore to keep up the happy pretence and to be honest I’m not bothered with my life anymore I have nothing to offer as what I thought I did wasn’t good enough.

    I do not want to sound judgmental because I don’t feel suicidal so I certainly don’t know what you’re going through so please don’t take this to be me judging you....

    Have you any idea how selfish you are? Suicide is the most selfish thing someone can do, even if its the only solution to your problem. I’m coming in from the angle of OF COURSE YOUR PARENTS ARE GONNA CHECK UP ON YOU AND BE WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!!!

    If you kill yourself that’s grand your gone but your parents for the rest of their lives have to live with the huge loss, do you actually think they will stop checking up on you to let yourself go ahead and top yourself???

    I hear what you’re saying but I really honestly can’t see how it’d be a huge loss and they’d get over it I haven’t done anything that great to be sorely missed as you make out that I would be.
    Of course I don’t think that’d they’d just leave me alone for those very reason that have been said i.e. I might try it again but I’ve no energy to motivation/courage to do it again anymore now so I’m stuck so they can rest easy.

    bluecell99 wrote: »
    Your folks are watching out for cos that’s part of their job as parents. It must have been so, so hard for them to see what was happening and nearly losing you. By developing yourself and becoming a mature person then the checking will fade away. Try to see it from their point of view. Discuss maybe. It’s hard for them to get their heads round it. Do you talk to them? Nobody is against you.

    Have you discussed your feelings with anyone else? Let’s hope you don’t feel this way again and you will find a way through. Talking always helps. Not just with your folks. Nothing is ever as bad as that. All of us have problems in life.Stress,to some extent will always be there. Please try to see how some people are worse off. Have you ever been to a children’s hospital and see how the little ones struggle for life after ten hours complicated surgery? See the reactions of the mams and dads when the good news comes through that they will be ok.

    Equally nothing can describe the loss of their children if the worst comes to the worst. The point is no son or daughter should ever inflict such pain by deliberately ending their life. Life can be great. Its there for you now.

    Please talk, talk and talk again. Even if you become a pain in the butt. Just do and don’t carry problems by yourself.
    Unregcr wrote: »
    Talk to the people around you about why you feel so down about life that you tried to end it, perhaps if they see how you are feeling they might listen to what you need them to give you to feel better, be that space, love, listening or whatever else


    Hey Bluecell & Unregcr, No I don’t really talk to either my mam or dad well especially not my dad not very close to him never was. I’ve come really close to talking to my girlfriend about different things then just backtrack and convince myself it’ll be grand so I don’t have to say anything.
    Mainly don’t tell her stuff like that because I don’t want her to think I’m some nut case.
    star-pants wrote: »
    From experience (not the same exact way) but my brother decided to try and OD on neurofen back in January. My mother went into him in the morning & he said 'it didn't work' she asked what and he told her. Suffice to say my mother was distraught. Took a lot of calming her down (from me). She brought him to the doctor and things were ok (tablet taking wise). But for the next two months at least, she checked on him regularly. Excuses to come into the room, excuses to talk, anything. Also to make sure he knew we were there for him. To know that he could talk to us or come to us if he felt bad. She hid all the medication and worried every night she went to sleep for fear she might wake up and he'd done something. She didnt' sleep properly for weeks.

    We got him to a psychologist and he's been getting a lot better. As my mother has seen improvements she's backed off. I also told her she can't sit over him 24/7 either, not good for him or her.

    In your case you say you know why you tried what you did, yet you say you don't have the bottle to try again, that suggests you would do it again if you could. I do really really suggest you go see someone about this. Even just to talk out how you're feeling about things now, with your parents, with your life etc.
    You can try talking to your parents if you feel up to it, but until they see in time you getting better they're not going to leave your side. They're your parents and love you and probably feel guilty over what has happened. I know my mother felt it was her fault.
    (I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty btw, I'm just explaining how things are from their side. Wouldn't you want to take care of someone you care about if you thought they were in danger/trouble?).

    Hey Star-Pants :) I know this is going to sound stupid etc but I’m just not the type to go to a doctor a tell all, I just can’t I’d get so embarrassed and think they’d think I’m crazy or section me or something.
    I don’t think she does feel it’s her fault, it’s my fault.
    And yea course I would be that same if someone else tried it


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 5,632 ✭✭✭Slutmonkey57b


    I don’t know if I would try it again after this though and I know why they are checking on me and I do want them to stop because it’s wearing thin with me now even if they stopped for half an hour or so it wouldn’t be so bad.

    They have no idea how to deal with this, just like you have no idea - you're all just flying by the seat of your pants here. At some point you'll have to sit down with them and talk to them so they can help you and you can get them off your back.
    I’m just sick of always trying and it never working out always being used and always trying to help people and them throwing it back in your face, that’s part of the reason.
    No energy anymore to keep up the happy pretence and to be honest I’m not bothered with my life anymore I have nothing to offer as what I thought I did wasn’t good enough.

    This is what you need to talk to a professional about.
    I hear what you’re saying but I really honestly can’t see how it’d be a huge loss and they’d get over it I haven’t done anything that great to be sorely missed as you make out that I would be.
    Of course I don’t think that’d they’d just leave me alone for those very reason that have been said i.e. I might try it again but I’ve no energy to motivation/courage to do it again anymore now so I’m stuck so they can rest easy.

    No I don’t really talk to either my mam or dad well especially not my dad not very close to him never was. I’ve come really close to talking to my girlfriend about different things then just backtrack and convince myself it’ll be grand so I don’t have to say anything.
    Mainly don’t tell her stuff like that because I don’t want her to think I’m some nut case.

    Classical depressive thinking - you can't get any perspective on what's happening to you and around you. You're also caught up in the "i'm a nut case" fear that everyone has - relax, and think about all the other people around you and you'll see that most people are a little bit of a nut case. What you have are a set of problems, and you can find a way to deal with those problems, impossible though it might seem.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    I’m just sick of always trying and it never working out always being used and always trying to help people and them throwing it back in your face, that’s part of the reason.
    No energy anymore to keep up the happy pretence and to be honest I’m not bothered with my life anymore I have nothing to offer as what I thought I did wasn’t good enough.

    We all go through phases of this believe it or not. Many people disappoint us or don't treat us how we treat them. You don't always have to be happy and put on a face for others. I do know how that feels and for a long time I felt I had to. So in order to save myself when I didn't have the energy I just pulled away from people but that actually kinda made things worse in the long run.
    You *do* have things to offer and you *are* good enough.

    I hear what you’re saying but I really honestly can’t see how it’d be a huge loss and they’d get over it I haven’t done anything that great to be sorely missed as you make out that I would be.
    Of course I don’t think that’d they’d just leave me alone for those very reason that have been said i.e. I might try it again but I’ve no energy to motivation/courage to do it again anymore now so I’m stuck so they can rest easy.
    Would you be heartbroken if one of your parents or your gf died?
    Whether someone has won the nobel peace prize or won the 'best made cup of tea' of the year, it doesn't matter. You achieve things everyday. You're their son, who they made and love and cherish, of course they would miss you. And most likely never get over it.
    Just because you have no motivation/energy to try 'now' doesn't mean those feelings won't come back, not if you don't get them sorted.
    Hey Bluecell & Unregcr, No I don’t really talk to either my mam or dad well especially not my dad not very close to him never was. I’ve come really close to talking to my girlfriend about different things then just backtrack and convince myself it’ll be grand so I don’t have to say anything.
    Mainly don’t tell her stuff like that because I don’t want her to think I’m some nut case.

    I do really understand how you feel, when you get to a point you think you can tell someone but yet when they're there and you go to say it, it doesn't seem so important or you feel you don't want to burden them so you just leave it. But it's good that you feel you can almost talk to her, it really is. I was lucky enough to have a bf before who would listen to me, even if it was just to give me a hug or a cuddle and it would make things feel not as bad.
    I don't talk to my parents either, for many number of reasons so I can understand you not being able to either. But you can talk to your gf, she won't think you're crazy, she cares for you and will do her best to understand.
    Hey Star-Pants :) I know this is going to sound stupid etc but I’m just not the type to go to a doctor a tell all, I just can’t I’d get so embarrassed and think they’d think I’m crazy or section me or something.
    I don’t think she does feel it’s her fault, it’s my fault.
    And yea course I would be that same if someone else tried it

    They wouldn't section you, my doctor offered to my brother if he wanted to go on medication & be taken in, or attend the counselling. He obviously chose the counselling. Doctors don't force people on medication anymore than people want to be on it. It took me a long time to make myself go to see someone and I know how you feel. I thought they'd think I was crazy or just attention seeking or I was making a mountain out of nothing. But it does help, even just to realign your thoughts and make sense of things, I really really think it would do you good.

    Also, you can pm me anytime if you want someone to talk to.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,318 ✭✭✭O'Coonassa


    I’m just sick of always trying and it never working out always being used and always trying to help people and them throwing it back in your face, that’s part of the reason.
    No energy anymore to keep up the happy pretence and to be honest I’m not bothered with my life anymore I have nothing to offer as what I thought I did wasn’t good enough.

    Oh you care too much for other people it seems. They really aren't worth it. One in a thousand maybe. You just need to tweak your attitude some, if you don't try and help then they can't throw it back on you. Stop judging yourself off other people and their opinions, what feck do they know? they're standing in different shoes to you. If you feel like crap then let it show, don't try to hide it, let it offend people, fcuk 'em they're just a bunch of eejits descended from apes. With the right attitude you can drag them all down off their high horses.

    Like I say it's a short ride. I dont know how old you are but as the ride progresses it gets faster and faster. The time between you having been 5 years and 10 years olds seems only as relatively long as the time between you being 20 and 40 years old, between 40 and 80 years old. The speed it passes by is all relative to how long you've already lived.

    You're really better off not ending it prematurely, life can be utter shíte but by the same token it can become wonderful in no time. It's like a roller-coaster, there's up's and downs, you should sit out the ride bro' for yourself, you really do owe it to yourself to do that. Don't let the bastids grind you down and keep on keeping on.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,887 ✭✭✭JuliusCaesar


    I have nothing to offer as what I thought I did wasn’t good enough.

    You are depressed and you need to know that depression can be treated. It is difficult to get over by yourself - it is possible but could last a long time. Can you stick it out that long? Most episodes of depression do remit spontaneaously but could take 6mths- 2yrs.

    I really honestly can’t see how it’d be a huge loss and they’d get over it

    eh, no, they wouldn't, they love you: people bereaved by suicide spend years asking Why? Was it my fault? Could I have done more? Link



    I don’t want her to think I’m some nut case.

    Seeing that most people will suffer an episode of depression in their lives, depression is NOT 'nut case' territory.
    I’m just not the type to go to a doctor a tell all, I just can’t I’d get so embarrassed and think they’d think I’m crazy or section me or something.

    You'd rather DIE than suffer 3 minutes embarrassment? Depression is one of the main reasons for seeing a GP. They won't think you're crazy and they won't section you. Sectioning is very rarely done, only if they think you are an immediate and present danger to yourself or other people. Ask the GP what treatment is available - medication, counselling, mental health services, self-help books, self-help groups, telephone lines, internet support groups.

    Ring the Samaritans, Aware, Recovery, Grow, Headstrong, 3Ts, - you might find support there. And you'll be anonymous.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,898 ✭✭✭✭seanybiker


    I tried it meself a few years ago aswell but made so much noise me mother came into the room to check what was happening. Nearly everything with a cable on it was took outta me room. Kinda happy now I got caught cos so much good things have happened to me since then. Yeah I still have the thoughts but with medical help and great friends and family I am very slowly getting to where I want to be. Dont get me wrong. Its has been a damn hard road to get to where I am now. For me and my loved ones. There is a really long road ahead of me and I dont know if Ill ever get to where I want to be but Im not gonna give up and waste all the years of hard work by just giving up.
    I know ya heard it all before. Dont try fool yourself thinking that you dont need help cos its obvious that you do need help. Not trying to be hard on ya but its obvious. There is no shame going to doctors councillors etc at all.
    Best of luck in the future. Ya will get through it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,303 ✭✭✭sexmag


    bluewolf wrote: »
    Will you get a f* grip? Someone is going through enough trauma that they want to kill themselves and you're here spouting a guilt-trip rant and trying to make them feel WORSE?
    Yes it may be selfish - so what? Forcing someone to live in misery so you feel better isnt?
    God, I have no idea what the op is or is not going through and it may be very little, it may be a lot - but regardless, this attitude really p* me off. Not to mention if they're suffering a chemical imbalance depression they may not be rationalising or thinking the same way in the first place.
    :mad:

    OP I suggest you get yourself to a therapist/counsellor/psych/whatever asap and try working through your problems. Sometimes we can't see an answer right in front of us til we get some perspective and help. If your family know this they will also feel a bit better I am sure and may give you some breathing room again. I also suggest you try talking things through with them as well as such an obviously supportive family would be only happy to try help.

    will YOU get fcuking grip,that person is right,suicide is the most selfish thing anyone can do,it causes so much pain and hardship for everyone that is left behind,life sucks for everyone at some point,more so for others and we can all understand that and but is always a way to get through it,my brother tried to do it and i have never felt so much pain and sadness just thinking about if he had of done it and i hadnt of stoped him,no one is trying to make it worse for the op but he/she has to think about others aswell,talking sounds cliche but it actually works and im glad the op is still here but im argueing your stupid and silly point!!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    They have no idea how to deal with this, just like you have no idea - you're all just flying by the seat of your pants here. At some point you'll have to sit down with them and talk to them so they can help you and you can get them off your back.

    This is what you need to talk to a professional about.

    Classical depressive thinking - you can't get any perspective on what's happening to you and around you. You're also caught up in the "i'm a nut case" fear that everyone has - relax, and think about all the other people around you and you'll see that most people are a little bit of a nut case. What you have are a set of problems, and you can find a way to deal with those problems, impossible though it might seem.

    I don’t feel depressed I feel fine about it like I’m not going round with a gloomy sad face or anything like that because I can deal with this.
    star-pants wrote: »
    You *do* have things to offer and you *are* good enough.

    How do I rate or know what I have to offer though? I’ve been thinking and really can’t think of anything because of all the times I’ve been there for people, helped them etc etc and in most cases it was taken for granted and no gratitude was shown at all so what I offered/did wasn’t good enough obviously.
    star-pants wrote: »
    Would you be heartbroken if one of your parents or your gf died?

    Of course I would if either died :(
    star-pants wrote: »
    You're their son, who they made and love and cherish, of course they would miss you. And most likely never get over it.
    Just because you have no motivation/energy to try 'now' doesn't mean those feelings won't come back, not if you don't get them sorted.

    For being their son alone is something to offer or have that they need? I’m 21 there’s nothing that I have to give them like they have to me, I feel so ungrateful :( .
    star-pants wrote: »
    I do really understand how you feel, when you get to a point you think you can tell someone but yet when they're there and you go to say it, it doesn't seem so important or you feel you don't want to burden them so you just leave it. But it's good that you feel you can almost talk to her, it really is. I was lucky enough to have a bf before who would listen to me, even if it was just to give me a hug or a cuddle and it would make things feel not as bad.
    I don't talk to my parents either, for many number of reasons so I can understand you not being able to either. But you can talk to your gf, she won't think you're crazy, she cares for you and will do her best to understand.

    That's exactly how I feel when I go to say what's bothering me but then right at the time I feel that it's so stupid and not important and think that there's much worse problems and that I'm stupid for thinking that what's bothering me is a problem,spot on SP .
    Yea my gf does care about me she's heartbroken that I did what i did which is also tearing me apart that I did that to her ! :( .
    star-pants wrote: »
    Also, you can pm me anytime if you want someone to talk to.

    Thank you so very much :)
    O'Coonassa wrote: »
    Oh you care too much for other people it seems. They really aren't worth it. One in a thousand maybe. You just need to tweak your attitude some, if you don't try and help then they can't throw it back on you.
    Like I say it's a short ride. I don’t know how old you are but as the ride progresses it gets faster and faster. The time between you having been 5 years and 10 years olds seems only as relatively long as the time between you being 20 and 40 years old, between 40 and 80 years old. The speed it passes by is all relative to how long you've already lived.

    That is one of my weaknesses is that I’ve always cared too much for people I hate seeing anyone in trouble I can’t ignore it when someone needs help.
    I’m 21.
    I fully understand what you’re saying and you’re right.
    You are depressed and you need to know that depression can be treated. It is difficult to get over by yourself - it is possible but could last a long time. Can you stick it out that long? Most episodes of depression do remit spontaneously but could take 6mths- 2yrs.
    I’m not depressed, I’ll just try to put it out of my mind and I’ll be fine like I was before all this, the only thing that could remind me at the moment is the dressings/marks down my arms.
    seanybiker wrote: »
    I tried it meself a few years ago aswell but made so much noise me mother came into the room to check what was happening. Nearly everything with a cable on it was took outta me room. Kinda happy now I got caught cos so much good things have happened to me since then. Yeah I still have the thoughts but with medical help and great friends and family I am very slowly getting to where I want to be. Dont get me wrong. Its has been a damn hard road to get to where I am now. For me and my loved ones. There is a really long road ahead of me and I dont know if Ill ever get to where I want to be but Im not gonna give up and waste all the years of hard work by just giving up.
    I know ya heard it all before. Dont try fool yourself thinking that you dont need help cos its obvious that you do need help. Not trying to be hard on ya but its obvious. There is no shame going to doctors councillors etc at all.
    Best of luck in the future. Ya will get through it.

    I don’t really see it as a road that I’ve to make my way along from here on I see this as something that’s just happened and I’ll get over it soon, it’s weird I know but the very best of luck to you and you seem to be doing great so well done :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,277 ✭✭✭poisonated


    hey
    just to say that you really need to talk to someone.Im not going to lie,it is going to be tough at first to see someone but after the first 5 minutes of speaking to your counsellor it will be easy.It will feel as if youve known him for years.They have a way of making you feel comfortable,as is their job.If you decide to talk to someone,and you should,its important to be completely honest.It does get better.Talking to someone really can put your mind at rest.Please do it,if not for you,please do it for the people that love you and it seems that you have people who really do.
    All the best.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,580 ✭✭✭Splendour



    For being their son alone is something to offer or have that they need? I’m 21 there’s nothing that I have to give them like they have to me, I feel so ungrateful :( .

    Your being their son alone is enough for your parents-believe me!!
    Please don't think they are going overboard. It's called love. Your parents would die for you and thank God you have such loving parents. Talk to them, re-assure them you won't attempt suicide again, and get yourself a good therapist. You are so blest to have people who care so much for you.

    Take care...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9 Bettee


    OP, first of all, please don't try it again. People call suicide a selfish act, and to those left behind or bereaved maybe it seems to be selfish,but personally I am so thankful not to be able to understand how things can get so bad and dark that this is the only option. You clearly have people around you who care for you, and love you. You may not always believe that or be able to see it, but it is so clearly there. It is important to talk to someone. You say you would be embarrassed to talk to a doctor, there is no reason to be embarrassed. Depression is an illness,its not something to be embarrassed about at all, it affects so many of us at some stage. With all you are going through though, it is important that you think of your parents as well if you can. They are craicing you up with the constant monitoring because they love you. It would be so beneficial for all of you if ye could talk. To each other, to a doctor-to someone. You're only 21, I'm close in age to you, worthless as you may feel, we haven't half our lives lived, we haven't seen half of what is out there, and with everyday comes another opportunity to experience life and find to find some aspect of it to contribute to. Please don't try it again, you're too important to the world. Mind yourself.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I causing so much panic and stress !! :( I went to sleep there for a while and one of the dressings on my arm came off when I turned over I think and my arm started bleeding,my gf came into my room and saw me asleep and blood all over my arm and bed sheets and obviously thought I'd tried it again :( then my ma came running up when she heard her scream thinking the same and everyone was panicing,I calmed them down as best I could but I don't know how to fix this ! I feel so werid I can't describe the feeling.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 189 ✭✭strongbluebell


    They're only stressed because they care. I know when I get very low I disconnect from people, I forget that they love me, I feel unloveable. I won't pretend to know how you're feeling but could it be something like this?

    I haven't found a way through it but I've made a start. A good non judgemental counsellor that you can trust might help you become a little less "stuck". It's so hard to speak about the dark stuff that goes on in our heads to a loved one, sometimes it's easier with a stranger.

    Of course the other plus is that your parents might ease off a bit if they can see that you're getting some help.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    I causing so much panic and stress !! :( I went to sleep there for a while and one of the dressings on my arm came off when I turned over I think and my arm started bleeding,my gf came into my room and saw me asleep and blood all over my arm and bed sheets and obviously thought I'd tried it again :( then my ma came running up when she heard her scream thinking the same and everyone was panicing,I calmed them down as best I could but I don't know how to fix this ! I feel so werid I can't describe the feeling.

    *hug* I can imagine how she thought something had happened again. Ye all must have gotten a shock that time. I assume you explained and things calmed down a bit?

    It's not something that can be fixed overnight. They're going to worry for a good while. As I said, a counsellor would be very very beneficial to you, and to your parents. They might get some relief knowing you're getting help as they know they can only do so much. In time then as you get better, they'll relax a bit more.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 106 ✭✭~Trixiebelle~


    OP, i really wish i could say or do something to make things better for you. PLEASE, PLEASE DONT EVER TRY IT AGAIN... Nothing and no-one is EVER worth making you feel so low. I am currently feeling similar regarding people just taking the piss quite frankly and i do have a tendency to get depression. I fight it when it comes and get up off my ass and say F*ck them all. I know i am a good person and I am here to be the best, i can be. Thats all any of us can do!!! I have bad days. I acknowledge them and allow them. I lick my wounds (eat far too much junk!!;)) and get back out there.. The more i keep "getting on with it", the attacks happen less frequent and everyday I think of all i have accomplished and maybe how I can be/do better for me and those i love around me.

    I did try it myself a couple of times when i was 15 and 16, i thought at the time, that my whole world was tumbling down all around me and i just could not do anything right. It felt like whatever I done/tried never got me anywhere and people just didnt like (hated) me. I felt useless, worthless and empty. My Mother brought me to the GP and i got 2 types of anti-depressants and no councelling. I got through that time day by day. I have been back on medication several times since then but i havent needed them for the past 6 years. I would NEVER try to again and i do find that as i get older, my confidence grows and i have a better sense of who i really am.....

    I think you need help with this, accept it, embrace it and look forward to a LIFE where you DONT have to feel this way.

    I wish you so much luck, love and happyness for your FUTURE....xoxo

    PM me if ever you need to.... your at the bottom now so the only way is up...:)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 616 ✭✭✭NoelJ


    Talking I believe is the best cure, with parents or your gf the more you talk to them they will begin to understand and the more you will begin to understand your reasons. You could figure out that your reasons are normal or that you are not even sure why you tried.

    Doctor, parents, girlfriend whoever you can confide in. Anyone of your friends will listen to you. I found it easier speaking to girls I bearly knew even though I was shy back then around girls oddly enough. I learnt that anyone will listen and was quite suprised.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    wow. Just read this thread and am shocked!

    OP - suicide is no answer to anything. Youre depressed! You might not feel particularly sad about anything but your self esteem is in the toilet and thinking that people wouldnt sorely miss you is wrong! Course they would! And theyd all be blaming themselves, and wondering what they could have done to change things, and wishing they could take back time etc.... you know yourself....

    Anyway onto your main query - how can you get them to leave you alone? By doing all the things that will help you. If they see youre looking for help theyll back off. Youre in denial. Youre thinking that theres nothing to be helped. But there is. You need to change your attitude - when you look around at the people you love wouldnt you be upset if any of them decided to off themselves? Yes. So dont you think theyll be upset if you do it?

    And besides, a very early poster made a great point - sure arent we all headed that way anyway - why hurry the ride? There are millions of brilliant experiences there waiting for you - why go waste them? Wont you spend long enough in the ground in the end?

    You need to talk to someone. Loads of people feel like you do and the smart ones talk to someone - even if you feel like theres nothing to talk about you need to start it off and see how you go.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 153 ✭✭Soul Stretcher


    You are Ill. Not physicall Ill. Mentally Ill. The Illness is called Depression. You are not the first to feel like that and you won't be the last.

    If you broke a leg, you would see a doctor. If you got cancer, you would see a doctor. YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION, you need to see a doctor.

    Look at how many strangers have wrote beautiful posts to help you !! And they don't even know you.

    I'm gonna be honest with you and say that I'm angry with you - the mentally ill you. My younger brother attempted suicide in his teenage years. He's doing much better now - he got the best professional help on offer - LIKE YOU SHOULD DO. His suicide attempt nearly drove my mother to distraction. He, in my opinion, took 5-10 year off HER life. She visably aged wth the worry.

    I hate depression for what it did to my brother and by extension my mother.

    GET HELP. I feel like slapping you around the head. I really do.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 387 ✭✭gimme5minutes


    Im gonna have to call attention seeker on this one. What person who is serious about committing suicide would 'attempt' it when there was a very high chance someone would walk in on them, as was the case in the op's story. It's the same old story, he tried it when his mother was in the house for god sake. Anyone who was serious about committing suicide would do it when no one is around, these are the people who really need help but most of the time it is too late.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 350 ✭✭amybabes


    when i say this, i hope that i am representative of those who are living their lives in the aftermath of someone they loved having commited suicide.

    I am utterly disgusted, how dare you speak like this.... with total disregard of the feelings of your family and gf, and for those who have lost people to suicide. Do u have any idea how much i long for a few seconds back to hold someone in my arms and tell them how much i love them and need them in my life, and try and make things a little better for them and get them through whatever darkness overtook them. I actually cried reading your post - here you are complaining that ur parents are wrecking your head trying to stop you killing yourself, you're "pissed off" that they ruined your chance to do it. What kind of horrible person are you that you're speaking like this.........i hope you get help and fast, because there is something seriously missing from your heart and your head........
    let me tell you what living with suicide is like.....4 years on, so its not even raw, not an hour of the day passes that i dont think of him, even though i try to occupy my mind with other things, i often recall the burial where his coffin was lowered into the ground, a part of me was buried with him, watching his mother collapse there and then was an image the imprinted on the whole community, it was awful, heartwrenching stuff for people who didnt even know him.
    im still shaking having read what u said........have a bit of regard for the people in your life who love u, they dont deserve that pain and misery inflicted on them. cop the f**k on, life is precious, think about the people being murdered and killed on the roads every day they dont have a choice, or the people who go through long drawn out illnesses and struggle on for their families, and here u are complaining about having to live. grow up and stop attention seeking......people like you make me sick :mad::mad::mad:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 172 ✭✭adagio


    Hey Op,

    I'm not gonna log out for this one as it's part of who I am.
    I hope the brief message below helps (no judgment).

    Suicide has being part of my family experience as far back as I can remember. Several members of my close and not-so-close family members have tried to take their lives - unfortunately some where successful.
    I too have felt suicidal where I thought there way no light in my life. But I've battled on because I know deep within that life is incredibly precious and now I'm achieving amazing things - I'll share a secret with ya that none of my closest friends are aware of, (within the coming years I will climb Mount Everest).
    The reason I mention my secret ambition is to show you that a person can come from the deepest depths of despair out into the light and hold such tangible dreams.
    I have being able to get to this point because I am very analytical person and I was able to find my own way out of the darkness. This is not always the healthiest route and I would strongly suggest that you swallow your fear and anxiety and go see a therapist. I think you will be amazed at how a trained professional can open doors in your head that you hadn't even thought of.

    Be brave my friend and try the following:
    • Accept that you require help (doesn't matter who this is from but a trained professional would be best).
    • Take ownership of the fact that suicide is part of you life for now and don't shy away from it (it's just another piece of the tapestry that makes you - you and it's nothing to be ashamed of).
    • Know (not just lip service) that there are amazing things ahead of you that at this moment and time you can't anticipate - become an optimist!
    • Open up to your family (if it's possible) and tell them exactly how you fell (if you know how you feel).
    • Finally, look outside you immediate surroundings - try new things/ new experiences - don't be afraid to push yourself in new directions.
    Take ownership of this new phase in your life and try to find the core reasons for feeling as you do - there is a lot of people out there like you and believe me when I say that if you have experienced the depths of despair and come through it the sweetness of life is so much sweeter.
    Best of Luck.;)


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