Behavior for non-believers/those of other faiths during a service?

coillcam

Firstly I was brought up a Catholic through school etc. I am no longer a member of the Catholic faith or Christianity. I am not looking to get into a theological debate here or anything.

My question is this. How should I behave at a mass/funeral/wedding etc ?
By this I mean, what should I do or not do rather so as to be as respectful as possible to the congregation, priests etc?

Should I be kneeling/standing at appropriate times?

Just curious as I have been to a couple of services in the last year and just sat there uninvolved. I only recently thought that I was/may have been disrespectful through my actions or lack of.

Can someone clear this up for me?

PDN

As a non-Catholic who occasionally attends Catholic funerals and weddings, I would think that what you have been doing is perfectly respectful.

Lemo

I tend to stand but not kneel. Standing to me is a respectful thing that we do in many situations, e.g. when greeting somebody and so on. Kneeling is a subservient thing that is fairly specific to praying. It is very uncomfortable (socially, not physically) at first but you get used to it.

Hope this helps...

coillcam

Lemo wrote: »

I tend to stand but not kneel. Standing to me is a respectful thing that we do in many situations, e.g. when greeting somebody and so on. Kneeling is a subservient thing that is fairly specific to praying. It is very uncomfortable (socially, not physically) at first but you get used to it.

Hope this helps...

My line of thinking was that in kneeling that I was participating in the associated belief(s)/praying but that I had no need to that as I am in no way involved in either.

Though with standing I would be acknowledging the fact that this is your gospel and set of standards. I don't believe in them but I will respect them for what they are and also your faith in them.

Another thing at funerals obviously I would always at least once offer my condolences to the family/friends of the bereaved either at the wake/removal or after the burial.

Gambler

As an atheist, when I attend any services I try my best to be respectful and I completely understand where you are coming from. For me when people are kneeling\standing I take part and take that time to reflect personally on what's going on. At a funeral I think about the deceased and what their passing means to me and at a wedding I take the time to think about how happy I am for the couple.

I do think that as atheists we shouldn't go to someone else's place of worship and make a point of standing out, if you aren't willing to make an appropriate effort and respect the space that people do worship in then in my opinion you should avoid it. While some people won't take offense some will and this is not a place to be making a point.

Of course when it comes time for communion or a similar part of the ceremony then you shouldn't take part as there are rules about who should and shouldn't take part and I don't say the prayers or cross myself because this would be hypocritical.

When it comes to kneeling for me this isn't a subservient thing because to my mind there is no-one to be subservient too. I just take it as another point that I can use for whatever personal reflections I may want to make at that time..

microgirl

I'd be yer stereotypical lapsed Catholic and as such do kneel and stand at the appropriate bits on the once a year when I go to church (weddings or funerals basically) and I would say stand but not kneel, and you're pretty much spot-on with the reasons why (though of course as a former Catholic yourself, why wouldn't you be? )

If I was, to take an example, to go to a Muslim service, I'd take my shoes off, cover my head, kneel quietly in the corner or the back or wherever, I'd be respectful, not brazen, but I wouldn't bow to the floor as that's participatory and as a non-Muslim I can't participate in their worship.

At least that's how I see it.

ScumLord

I like to stand at inappropriate times, then turn around and go "aaaaahhh, gotcha!"

Seriously though, if you stand up a load of other people around you that haven't a clue either will stand up.

robindch

I'd go with Leno's advice -- if you do have to go in for a religious servicing, then stand up when everybody stands up, sit down when everybody sits down and sit, leaning forward when everybody kneels, even if only to avoid having somebody breathe down your shirt collar.

AtomicHorror

I usually do the stand/sit/kneel routine as appropriate. I do not bless myself or pray, though occasionally some of that happens by accident due to some very old habits. This results in sounds like "Our father who art in ACK-".

I have on one occasion as a non-believer eaten the holy wafer. This was because I was sitting with someone up in the organ loft and the nice old lady had walked up a very long flight of stairs just to bring it to us. Perhaps I shouldn't have, but it would have felt very mean to send her right back down again. Generally, that one is a big no- as anyone present who knows you are non Christian may not appreciate it.