Which is the real me? Me in the mirror or me in the picture?

insidemyhead

I have never enjoyed getting my photograph taken and have never liked how I looked in them. I probably only have a handful of photos that I think actually look like me and that I would be happy to show to people. All the others I look at and recoil almost to the point where I think I look different from everybody else in the sense that everyone else looks normal and I look like a bloody freak. Was at a wedding recently and when I saw the photos I said "this isn't me, it's certainly not the person I look at in the mirror everyday". Why, to my mind's eye do I feel like I look completely different in photos than in real life? I've often had people who said I was handsome, etc. but I never see this in photos of me. I know mirrors are.. well... a mirror image and not the same as a photograph but I only feel I know myself looking in the mirror and the person I see in photographs is some imposter who happens to look vaguely similar.

I've been seeing this girl now for a few months and I keep asking myself "What does she see in me? She could probably have any guy she wants". I've felt this way with some other girlfriends, especially with some who I thought were out of my league. Usually I'm really happy in my skin but having seen those recent pictures I've become quite self-conscious about it almost to the point where I feel uncomfortable around my GF. Maybe it's just a passing phase but I'm just wondering does anybody else ever feel the same way about the person they see in the mirror and the person they see in photographs of themselves?

Bottle_of_Smoke

Right the lighting in a mirror is gonna be different to anywhere you are, also your posture, the parts of your face you concentrate etc. That's why I reckon you see girls with orange make-up, it looks fine to them due to the lighting in their bathroom/bedroom

Often when I go into changing rooms with mirrors on each side it comes as a surprise as I see parts of my face in a different way.

Photos also dont really capture the real you as you'll be posing or not looking at the camera the way you do a person or whatever, its also a tiny fraction of a second so cannot be relied upon.

I guess seeing yourself in a video might be a more reliable version of how others see you

username123

I definitely look better in the mirror - because I hold good posture and arrange my face in a pleasing way and admire myself from angles that accentuate my good points.

However in photographs Im caught unawares, at angles that dont necessarily show me to my best advantage, and lit up from the front rather than from above etc.....

Its a good idea to see yourself on video - I saw myself on video recently, and hadnt realised how small I am compared to my friends - I am like a midget amongst them!!! In my mind Im FEEL like Im the same height as everyone else, or at least just a bit smaller - on screen the midget factor was very noticeable!!

AARRRGH

I agree with Bottle of smoke.

insidemyhead wrote: »

I've been seeing this girl now for a few months and I keep asking myself "What does she see in me? She could probably have any guy she wants". I've felt this way with some other girlfriends, especially with some who I thought were out of my league.

The fact that you are able to get girls who are 'out of your league' means you are in fact a good catch. As mad as it may sound to you, just shrug your shoulders and accept it.

Btw, you don't have to be photogenic or 'classically good looking' to be attractive.

For example, Adrian Brody is a sex symbol and (in my opinion) wouldn't be the most beautiful man in the world!

Also, a photo is only a snapshot of what you looked like at that particular time from that particular angle. It doesn't necessarily show what you normally look like, nevermind things like your body language, 'aura' or personality.

LegacyUser

Hey OP, I def agree with what some of the others have said so far.

From my personal point of view too, it's a bit like when you go into changing rooms and they have those mirrors pointing in all sorts of angles. I hate looking at the side view of my face- my nose looks massive, cheeks look strange, hair, eyes, etc; nothing is like what I have always thought I looked like. It's really weird!

Then I heard someone say something to the effect that seeing only one angle of yourself robs you of all the many different dimensions that make you YOU! I remember that made me feel better. I am sure you have nothing to be worrying about if you are happy with what you see in the mirror so just try and disregard it. (Easier said than done I know!)

Liam Byrne

AARRRGH wrote: »

For example, Adrian Brody is a sex symbol

Apparently so is Russell Brand; and what surprised me is that it was with women!

So, OP, on one level there's no accounting for taste....if there was, 90% of the population (male and female) would be single!

Also, I'd be worried if you did think you were God's gift, because that's not an attractive trait.

And finally, there's more to what women want than looks or a Lily Allen song; thankfully they're not ALL that shallow.

So quit fretting and just ENJOY the fact that she likes you.....

liah

I'm the EXACT same way as you.

I honestly don't think I look like I do in pictures. I look like a total fool in them, I'm just completely unphotogenic, but in the mirror (any mirror in any given location with any given lighting, even just a reflection) I look quite attractive (at least in my opinion).

I'm constantly worried about getting my picture taken, the ones I have of myself I actually keep are only ones I've taken myself that show me as I feel I actually look. I refuse to let anyone else get a picture of me for fear of how it may turn out-- which is usually awful.

I look like such a gimp in pictures, I hope people don't think I look like that.. I hope I don't ACTUALLY look like that.

I feel your pain, OP.

Otis Driftwood

liah wrote: »

I look like such a gimp in pictures, I hope people don't think I look like that.. I hope I don't ACTUALLY look like that.

I LOLed.:D

For years and even now to a certain extent I wont pose for photos (unless Im soused)I just hate how I look in them but think I look much better in the mirror.Id say for a period of 8 years there are maybe 3 photos of me in existence.

You arent alone OP!

sheehan1

I hate the way i look in photos too. What helped me was reading a little bit about how to pose for a photo. Now when i'm about to have my picture taken, i turn my head about 10 degrees to the left, make sure my posture is good (stomach in, shoulders back, chin up) and give a genuine smile but try to keep my lips together somewhat (my teeth are not great). The result is i'm happier with how i look in photos now. Do some googling and play around with the self timer on a camera, see what works for you