(ex-ish) f**K buddy calling round for a chat, rather give it a miss

LegacyUser

someone i used to knock around with from time to time over the years wants to meet for a chat,

the situation is we've used each other from time to time over the last 18 months but i always knew twas going nowhere,next morning i would be gone as fast as i could, suited me and thought it was for the best, as she was quite happy to hang out and spend next day together if she had nothing on bit clingy, defo not for me tried it once or twice and it was more uncomfortable than it was worth.

we could meet up once in 2 months or 3 weeks in a row anything was possible nothing ever in stone,now she would have asked me to go to the odd function or movies or weekend away, i always had an excuse, she got so used to the excuses she knew i was ducking these things/morning after like the plague,she stopped asking and even started slagging me off bout how i ran out the door on the morning after, i knew and she knew all was fine,or so i believed

now bout two months ago i erased her phone no. coz it had ran it's course, she texted 1 or 2 times(usually drunk wanting to call over) texted back told her couldn't meet was out of town whatever and was hoping it peetered out

her buddy has told me she's going on and on still bout me and is gonna call round and she texted again to tell me as much in the next few days,i offered to call to her that evening know this sounds crappy but i've no interest in spelling it out i know it'll get a bit weepy and i could do without it, i was gonna ring her and try to tell her something to stop her calling,i know i seem like a prick here and defo did use her as she did me but never led her on

what should i do to avoid a messy head to head,

p.s. shes not ill or pregnant her buddy told me when i asked

star-pants

Tell her the truth really, just text her back or call her back and say 'look this has kind of run it's course, I'm sorry but I'm not interested anymore'. She seems to want to be more than fckbuddys with you so you need to be clear to her.

pseudonym1

Wow you sound like a really sensitive person! :rolleyes:

MAybe tell her you have met someone you really like and want to see how things go - or else tell her the truth!

Quite the little wimp aren't we?!

Call her, tell her you don't want to see her anymore. It's the least you can do in any situation that involves the word "buddy".

Queen-Mise

be a man and be upfront.

Tell her the truth/lie, that you only want a friendship from now on. Or you are in the early stages of a new relationship.

Do not let what you say in any way reflect on her.

reprazant

Grown up, man up and just tell her.

You are being nothing short of a coward here.

Oh The Humanity

Gawd, she just isn't getting it is she.

I despair of people like this really I do.

OP, you haven't done anything wrong imho. Unless its specified that there is a relationship there then FB rules apply. Everyone knows that, some I believe PRETEND they dont. Or prefer to remain in denial and fantasise its some sort of relationship and then behave like a scorned lover when you are forced into spelling it out trying to make you look like the bad guy.

I dunno, really -the rules are universal and if you ask me this girl has put out her hand to be slapped. You gave her NO indication there was anything more, what in the BeJaysus had her asking you to functions? Cringe.

If she felt more she should have stated that and cleared this up a long time ago. If it is indeed some sort of half formed attempt to ressurect the dead FB deal or attempt to promote it into a 'relationship' just be very simple and clear obviously without being cruel.

A few nights in the sack do not any sort of relationship contract make as well she knows....
Dont let her start with 'but I thought a b c meant x y z' -unless its explicitly stated that a couple are:
A couple
Exclusive
Boyfriend and Girlfriend

Then they are not, thems the rules. She is playing dumb I reckon.

*Lees*

Agree with the above!

Just want to add to that and say you really need to grow a pair and tell her where she stands because she obviously doesn't get it!

Miss Fluff

While I realise you may have wanted to avoid hurting her feelings by making excuses like being out of town etc, making excuses like these have probably always given her some sort of hope that one day you would be in town and one day agree to go to something with her.

Pick up the phone, be straight and honest with her without being rude and tell her you have no wish to see her anymore. That is was an "arrangement" at the time that suited you both but you have moved on and would prefer she stopped contacting you. If you don't do this, there will always be hope like I said, so just tell her straight. She won't then bother you again (unless he is a complete and utter bunny boiler which would be a whole new thread).

trilo

I agree with all of the above. Better to be honest and direct instead of avoiding the issue and making excuses. It may be difficult but it is one of the best things you could do. For you and for her.