Loves hobby more than you.....?

LegacyUser

Anyone got an OH who is very in to their hobby it gets more attention that you.

It is the kind of thing that affects us wherever we go, it comes along. He works a least one day of the weekend as it brings him paid work too (I often come as only way to spend time with him sometimes). Very hard to get a day with him when he doesn't work at it whether it be for work or his own pleasure. You could be relaxing in front of TV and next the laptop comes out and he's working on his hobby beside you (which I find very annoying and a bit rude, does it his house, my house). Wish he could switch off a bit more, he never stops!

Anyway, understand it is his passion and I'm glad he is so passionate but it does get me sometimes. Apart from that he's very good to me and supportive but does tend to be wrapped up in himself. I do feel feel ignored and far from a priority at times - I know the weekend work will come before me everytime. For the next couple of weekends am not going to make any effort to go to him (quite a distance) and do my own thing here, exams looming, wonder will he make the effort to visit. Sometimes it's as if he's just constantly thinking about it, even when you are out he's not 'there' at times, distracted. He's just kind that of person. If he had no interests or wasn't hardworking he probably wouldn't be the man I love.

You here of golf widows and girls who have bf's in bands.
Is this very common?

bluecell99

Sounds to me as if you are second place in his lfe.He is wrapped up in his hobbies,work and his life.Is that what you want?

Prompting seldom works.Its classic taking things for granted.

Unfortunately you have to act.Decide what you want ,tell him,put a time limit on change or get out and find someone who wants a fifty,fifty relationship.

John Mason

its football with me, whether its going to matches, managing his team or watching it on telly

but i think its great, i get a chance to follow my hobbies or just have time to myself.

e.g. he is off to berlin for the weekend to watch football, the girls are up tomorrow night and have loads planned for the weekend

you should embrace it or else join him golfing

LegacyUser

Yes, I was going to get involved though it's not golf. We don't live together, new realtionship so it tends to just impinge on 'our' time, we're far apart too so that's weekends only. If we lived together I doubt it would bother me at all. I have things going on too that he supports and if I was more involved in something at least I know he would never have an issue with me being busy or out and about which is good to know.

littlebug

After 11 years I just love that my OH spends so much time on his hobby. I get nights (but not too many) with the house/ sofa/ telly to myself and noooo complaints when I want to spend time/ money on my own interests:D

CathyMoran

My husband loves computers, but I found that joining in was easier - I got interested in it myself and now work in the area (have and plan to do more qualifications in it), though he will always have a greater knowledge than me of it I can keep up with him!

Is there any way that you can join in with your bf - otherwise develop your own interests more.

We have the same hobby which is one of the things that brought us together in the first place, so I would recommend you consider getting interested too if that's a possibility. My Mum was a golf-widow and late in life decided to see what all the fuss was about and has never looked back ... she golfs with AND without him, discovered she loves the sport.

You seem well aware of the importance of this hobby to your chap so you're going into this with your eyes open ... if it's like this at the start of the relationship (when I would expect couples to be trying to impress each other a little bit) then I can't see it getting any better. And it will actually get to you less if you make a conscious decision to cope with it.

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone. It's photography, he could make a living from it if he chose. Everyone likes to take and look at a nice picture & I've no digital camera at mo so am going to buy one soon. We'll probably go off on holiday in summer and I know he'll be taking lots of pics so I'm best to join in I reckon rather than feel left out, took a few before and enjoyed it. I'm studying part-time & I do this on his time occasionaly also and he volunteers himself as guinea pig for practical bits. I have a very old passion I hope to take up again in the summer & I know he'll come even if he doesn't participate (prob go off and take pite ics somewhere!). He thinks I'm annoyed with him right now as I'm under stress and have custody issues and he was out last night and I didn't let on at all so not to spoil his night. Have solicitor's appointment today. I'm quite down past coupple of days and it must have come across by text as indifferent but I'm just very upset, God love him for taking it personally. Least it might keep him on his toes

Cianos

Unregistered wrote: »

Anyone got an OH who is very in to their hobby it gets more attention that you.

It is the kind of thing that affects us wherever we go, it comes along. He works a least one day of the weekend as it brings him paid work too (I often come as only way to spend time with him sometimes). Very hard to get a day with him when he doesn't work at it whether it be for work or his own pleasure. You could be relaxing in front of TV and next the laptop comes out and he's working on his hobby beside you (which I find very annoying and a bit rude, does it his house, my house). Wish he could switch off a bit more, he never stops!

Anyway, understand it is his passion and I'm glad he is so passionate but it does get me sometimes. Apart from that he's very good to me and supportive but does tend to be wrapped up in himself. I do feel feel ignored and far from a priority at times - I know the weekend work will come before me everytime. For the next couple of weekends am not going to make any effort to go to him (quite a distance) and do my own thing here, exams looming, wonder will he make the effort to visit. Sometimes it's as if he's just constantly thinking about it, even when you are out he's not 'there' at times, distracted. He's just kind that of person. If he had no interests or wasn't hardworking he probably wouldn't be the man I love.

You here of golf widows and girls who have bf's in bands.
Is this very common?

Some people find sitting in front of the TV unbearably boring. I do in any case. If he's a creative person he gets more enjoyment out of an activity he can interact with rather than passively watching the TV to pass the hours. So maybe there are more fun or involved things you could be doing when spending time together. It doesn't have to be something strenuous as you are probably tired from working all day. But something that you both enjoy that doesn't involve computers or the TV.

Nickibaby*

It's good that he has such an interest in something. When myself and my OH got together I found it strange all the time he spent golfing. He still gets on my nerves sometimes about it :P I tried to embrace the sport - but it's just never going to happen. Definately a good walk wasted IMO but I understand it's what he is into and will go out sometimes with him and drive the buggy (only fun thing about golf courses and it cuts down on the time) or watch it on tv for hours :rolleyes:. I tried to get him back by making him watch the soaps with me BUT had the opposite effect, loves the soaps now and makes me record them for him if he is golfing

Perhaps try and find a hobby of your own? It' best to embrace what he is into, even if you wont love it like he does try and show some kind of interest in it.