Ex Girlfriend visiting my dreams all of a sudden

LegacyUser

ok, this is weird... about 2 years ago me and my longterm girlfriend (6-7 years) broke up... the breakup was really hard on me cos she was the very first girl i properly gave my heart to and we were ready to settle and have kids, then he went on a mad one saying she wanted to go see the world and all that.. fair enough!

ok so that was 2 years ago and i have been with heaps of girls since, but the closest any of them have come to being a girlfriend was about 4 or 5 weeks.. i guess i had a lot of steam to blow off hehe..

anyway out of nowhere.. in the past 2 months or so, i am dreaming on my ex every single night.. sometimes twice a night... i cant help it, and some of the dreams are so real, and were back together and im so happy to be back with her.. but then when i wake up i always remember every detail of the dream and it leaves me depressed in the mornings.. some nights i wake up at 3am after having the best dream ever only to realize it was not real, i end up feeling really low and feeling like i will never ever find the right girl
what we had was great together and it all changed so quick, it took me ages to get over her, and i had to completely rebuild my life (and still am) but since the breakup i have had the freedom to do some amazing things and meet some really cool people that i know for a fact i wouldnt have been able to if i was still with her.. i saw the breakup as a push to get out there and follow my dreams..

but i just think its really weird that i cant stop these dreams lately, cos to be honest if she did offer to get back with me.. i would have to think very long and very hard about my decision because i never ever want to feel that pain that i felt 2 years ago.. it nearly killed me.. probably why i have trouble opening up to women i meet now.. who knows..

any thoughts?

LegacyUser

I'm in a similar position, myself and the ex split about two months ago after almost a year of on/off etc, the first real break, and since then, has left me fairly messed up. I'm slowly rebuilding, and while the major heartache has eased, and i certainly don't wish to get back with him, I find he's on my mind a lot, and in my dreams. It's wrecking my head, as I'm sure these dreams must be with you....but I figure it's just your mind and heart craving affection and connection with someone....for yourself, considering it's been a while, perhaps it's not HER you want back, but you miss the relationship...time to start trying for real again? Or maybe there's a few lingering issues from ur past with her you've not yet healed. it's funny how you can push things down, forget about them, but it's not healed...don't ask me how you do the healing...still working on that part

aare

I wonder, did your subconscious somehow take in the notion that she would be gone "a couple of years"?

...and is that falling due now?

As if a part of you dealt with it by believing she would be back now...and no matter how much the rest of you has moved on, that part of you is only beginning to grieve now?

LegacyUser

Something simular happens to me. I broke up with my gf 10 YEARS ago, but sometimes get these very real dreams of metting her again, then I wake up and get really depressed, sometimes for a day or two, sometimes for up to 2 weeks. I am married now and have children, all of whom I love dearly. She is also married with children and I would never dare think of contacting her. As I say, I am happy and love my family. I guess Ill have to put up with the odd bout of depression and hope that someday it will fade.

LegacyUser

I think the worst thing people can do is make decisions and live their lives by something they have dreamt about. We dream about all sorts of crazy things and don't act on them.
Forget the dream if you want to contact the girl maybe you should. But think about it in terms of life and would you be happy. Your dreams can mean a million different things and people could tell you a million completly different reasons for the dream.

LegacyUser

This happens to me every so often as well. Its been over 10 years since I was last with the love of my life. She moved on with her life and I moved on with mine. Both of us are married now and both of us have families. Every once in a while she will pop up in my dreams and the next morning I get the same feelings of depression and sadness because of this. The one thing that I hate about it is that it feels unfair, I don't think about it too much and I've no real desire to reconnect with this woman. I just think it happens because things ended really badly between us all those years ago.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Something simular happens to me. I broke up with my gf 10 YEARS ago, but sometimes get these very real dreams of metting her again, then I wake up and get really depressed, sometimes for a day or two, sometimes for up to 2 weeks. I am married now and have children, all of whom I love dearly. She is also married with children and I would never dare think of contacting her. As I say, I am happy and love my family. I guess Ill have to put up with the odd bout of depression and hope that someday it will fade.

Contact her and meet up after 10 years you will both have changed and you will realize that when you meet her and this will put an end to it. Worked for me and brought me even closer to my current partner.

10 years is a long time and your missing the a girl that is now ten years older it would be much different if it were only a year or a couple of months.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Contact her and meet up after 10 years you will both have changed and you will realize that when you meet her and this will put an end to it. Worked for me and brought me even closer to my current partner.

10 years is a long time and your missing the a girl that is now ten years older it would be much different if it were only a year or a couple of months.

Trouble is that I did bump into her a couple of years ago. We only had a very brief chat and that was it, have not seen her since. After that time we met though, I could not stop thinking about her. I got really depressed for a few weeks and drank a lot, did not eat nor sleep.
She was the first love of my life and we got on really well together. I was young at the time and did not want to be tied into a relationship so I split up with her. She took it quite badly. Even though I broke up with her, I felt awful but I thought I was doing the right thing. I said some things about her to friends of mine on the night we broke up that should not have been said(Drink talk) and did not realise that she was sitting close by and overheard everything. I will never forgive myself for this and I believe that this is half the reason that I got so depressed after seeing her a couple of years ago. Got to live with it now though I guess.