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Losing interest??

  • 05-05-2009 9:12pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi, I'm a female in my mid-twenties. Recently moved in with my OH. My problem is that I feel like I'm starting to look like part of the furniture to him and that he's losing interest. Before we moved in our sex life was a little slack and I thought it would pick up once we were in our own home, however, this has not happened. I really try to entice him but i'm still only having sex every other week which is not enough for me. I've spoken to him and he says its no big deal just a dry patch but when this happened before we broke up over it as I couldn't deal with it and he proceeded to hook up with an ex. It is really annoying me and I don't want to keep mentioning it. Should I just keep stum or start to play him at his own game and pretend I don't give a sh*t?? Just so frustrated.... can't get an answer out of him and sick of spending time and effort dolling myself up for nothing.


Comments

  • #2
    Katgurl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,145 ✭✭✭Katgurl


    Sounds rough, I have a high $ex drive myself & always feel rejected in those situations though.

    I'm guessing though from very little information that you are more concerned about what happened before & this is just reminding you of it - the breakup / hook up with ex. Can you say a bit more about that?


    Sometimes in a previous relationship i used to pick fights and create dramas that were similar to something that happened earlier in that same relationship because i wanted to go back there and trash them through a bit more. I realised it was because i felt i had brushed things under the carpet & never fully resolved them, they were still preying on my mind.

    I could be way off but that's what i'm guessing is happening here.


  • #3
    SunInDublin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25 ✭SunInDublin


    Well It is a delicate situation but i don't think the answer to to play games, you will not get anywhere with that and it will in my opinion make it worst, best policy is to be honest.
    Better for you to keep things clean and if it does bother you that much then keep mentioning it, maybe set a date with him at home with dinner (no tv on!) and simply and calmly tell him how you feel or how he makes you feel, without accusing or pushing him down, diplomacy is important so he doesnt get offended, starts to get all mad and all and all he will is get more introvert about it. Guys usually hates confrontations, tell him we need to talk and he will think..."am i in trouble"!? or "here we go again" so i guess what im saying is, make a nice dinner, look nice, be calm, tell him you love him and you're happy to have moved in with him but you would realy like to discuss and have his opinion, again, on the matter.

    I can understand its frustrating, i probably would too, but communication is the most important in a relationship and if you dont have that early on he leads to problem down the line.

    you didnt really explain how and who iniciated the getting back together after you broke up and slept with the ex...could be something there for him. im just guessing here.

    best to you.


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