Too much info from BF

LegacyUser

OK so I'm going out with my bf about 5 months now. We get along very well and I really like him. The problem is, we were mates beforehand and during that time he told me a lot of stuff he wouldn't have told me if he'd known we'd end up together. Such as the girls he was with in the last year. It all bothers me a bit but what most bothers me is that we were both at a party last year, and he ended up hooking up with a girl he'd been seeing earlier in the year. They disappeared upstairs and he let slip that she gave him head and they fooled around. Now I can't get this out of my head and it really bothers me. She's a really loud, obnoxious kind of girl and she always texts my bf and leaves flirty mesages on Facebook. I don't think hes interested in her but the whole thing really annoys me! Is it stupid to be bothered by this?

Queen-Mise

No not stupid at all. It's called the 'Past Syndrome', we all have one.
I presume he knows things about you, that maybe as a boyfriend you would prefer he didn't know.

Learn to live with his past, its not going anywere.

O'Coonassa

toomuchinfo wrote: »

Is it stupid to be bothered by this?

I very much think so, who's he with?

mardybum

Stupid? It may be a very unnecessary feeling, but not stupid. A lot of people have the same worries and fears, it's pretty natural and for some people just a not-too-nice symptom of being with someone romantically/sexually.

You could express your feelings, not in an angry or upset way, but just lightly mention that you wish you didn't know. He might say the same thing.

Or you could say nothing and focus on the good parts of the relationship (I'd do this)

LegacyUser

I know everyone has a past, but i think its the fact I was there that night, I know the girl (and dont like her!), I guess in one way I'm a bit annoyed that he obv doesn't have the highest standards! I guess its just too much information. My bf has never seen any of my exes.

mardybum

I suppose when it comes to one nighters, lets face it, quality is not particularly the top requirement, its more to do with drunkeness and availability!

I think what you should ask yourself is, if you were to talk to him about it, what you like him to say (in an ideal world)? Is there anything he could say to assuage your feelings?

shellyboo

toomuchinfo wrote: »

I know everyone has a past, but i think its the fact I was there that night, I know the girl (and dont like her!), I guess in one way I'm a bit annoyed that he obv doesn't have the highest standards! I guess its just too much information. My bf has never seen any of my exes.

Not being facetious, but is there any way, without the existance of a time machine, that your bf can fix this problem? I'm going to guess and say no. It's done, he was doing nothing wrong, he can't go back and change it.

So this is your problem and you have to deal with it - whatever you do, do not take this out on your boyfriend, it really wouldn't be fair. The best thing you can do is to make a resolution to get over it. Tell yourself you're not allowed to be annoyed about it, convince yourself that you're not.

And if you still can't get over it, remind yourself every time she texts him or messages him that you have him and she doesn't. Stupid, bitchy, and petty, yes... but very satisfying.

Katgurl

toomuchinfo wrote: »

I know everyone has a past, but i think its the fact I was there that night, I know the girl (and dont like her!), I guess in one way I'm a bit annoyed that he obv doesn't have the highest standards! I guess its just too much information. My bf has never seen any of my exes.

Sorry but i think you're making your problems his problems. It seems to be you hate thinking of your boyfriend with someone else & feel jealous. I am not immune to this myself but you have to admit this is what's happening. Making excuses or claims that its to do with his 'standards' is complete waste of time, this is about YOUR issues not his. Work harder on not dwelling on these thoughts and enjoying your relationship with him.

Also, trust me on this; loud flirty girls who give guys blowjobs in bathrooms are not the types you should feel threatened by. For all you know, she could be wondering right now why she's only good for a quick fumble upstairs and nothing else.

A previous friendship is a great foundation for your relationship, enjoy it & don't let the green-eyed monster in!