Condoms are ruining sex for me!

LegacyUser

Heya,
I'm a bit frustrated here,I'm a 26 year old male, I got out of a 5 year relationship 6 months ago and in the past few weeks have finally started to move on with my sex life. Last week I ended up bringing home a girl I met that night in a bar & we were getting down to business, everything was going fine until I got her to put a condom (which I havent used 1 of in years) on me & within a minute I lost my erection! Needless to say it was mildly embaressing & she left soon after this! I put it down to a few possibilities, : Performance anxiety as it was someone different: Brewer's droop :even guilt/ feelings for the ex. I got over it anyway and put it down as a blip as I've never had any erectile problems bar too many beers the odd time!!
Anyway, have had the same scenario this weekend with another girl I took home Friday night, once the condom went on I lost my erection within a minute. This time however, the girl wasn't taking no for an answer and (Yes Im an idiot I'm not looking for advice or comments on this I will be getting checked this week) we had unprotected sex without any problems. I've now put it down to sensitivity issue by being too use to sex without a condom! Does that make sense to anyone else as it does to me. Has anyone had a similar problem & any advice on how to get around this? I'm not looking for a relationship as I'm still getting over the last 1 and don't want to catch any STI's while I'm living the single life. I'm thinking cutting back on masturbation would help, no I wouldn't consider myself a chronic wanker, I just live by the rule "love someone everyday even if it's yourself."
Hope you can help!

dny123456

every day! wow.

I do share your feeling on condoms tbh, awful things. Have similar effect on me. I'd prefer not to anything involving insertion, than use them.

anonymous_joe

Have a few posh wánks to get used to it?

Gary ITR

anonymous_joe wrote: »

Have a few posh wánks to get used to it?

That's about the best advice you'll get. Buy a box of 12 and knock yourself out. Literally

SarahSassy

Go to an escort - it seems to be all the rage...

Gary ITR

SarahSassy wrote: »

Go to an escort - it seems to be all the rage...

Actually that's an even better idea

aare

SarahSassy wrote: »

Go to an escort - it seems to be all the rage...

Actually that seems a REALLY good idea to me...seriously...who better to know all the ins and outs of getting men to perform while wearing unaccustomed condoms?

finbarrk

Too much beer doesn't agree with them either.

Unregistered

Unregistered wrote: »

Heya,
I lost my erection! Needless to say it was mildly embaressing & she left soon after this!

If thats what she did...you had a lucky escape.
Totally totally shallow.

And they say us lads are bad...

As for your problem.To be honest,thats not going to happen all the time.
Relax and try again only this time with someone that deserves you

Wibbs

SarahSassy how is that on topic advice? It's not. Please stay on topic. Thanks

star-pants

anonymous_joe wrote: »

Have a few posh wánks to get used to it?

I've seen this advice given before as then you can get used to wearing protection whilst being excited so it won't be as much of a change from normal when you *need* it.

Deleted User wrote: »

If thats what she did...you had a lucky escape.
Totally totally shallow.

And they say us lads are bad...

+1 a bit unfair of the lady

Liam Byrne

It's probably a combination of performance anxiety and sensitivity.....but TBH the fear of an STD or a pregnancy has FAR more potential to "ruin" sex or to act as a "softener" or putter-offer for me than either of those.....

And if they don't (and from your encounter it sounds like they don't) then I'd be more worried about why that's the case.....

Check your priorities, man!

maxxie

stop having sex!
problem solved

Joey the lips

What about the dear condoms made of the different material cant think of its name but they are ment to be thin, really thin!

Yes you have guessed I have not tried them just telling someone else about them

Nevyn

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

Joey the lips

Joey the lips wrote: »

What about the dear condoms made of the different material cant think of its name but they are ment to be thin, really thin!

Yes you have guessed I have not tried them just telling someone else about them

The ones for people allergic to latex. Avanti.

Joey the lips

Moonbaby wrote: »

The ones for people allergic to latex. Avanti.

No not advanti there are ment to be made of a total different material. I will see if I can find a link and attach. I am blank at the moment sorry

Side note: Cant find a link sorry advanti are out ages these only came out 2 years ago they are made of natural rubber I think
obv if they are that hard to find they wont be easy to get - sorry

MCMLXXXIII

I had the same problem when I became single after 3 years...and although there isn't as much sensitivity, I don't think that's the problem: you lose your hardon before the sensitivity even begins! It was a psychologicalthing for me because I knew it wasn't going to feel as good, so I would start to droop. Also, the performance/new person/etc. thing also had a slight effect.
Back before I was in my relationship, I would have fun when I went out, and I would certainly have more fun later on in the night on a pretty regular basis - usually with someone different, but always safe. So I just convinced myself that I used to be able to perform and that it was much more fun than being with the wench of an ex. Thinking of that, I was able to stay hard for a minute after putting the condom on, and once it was "in" I was able to perform with no problem. I've been fine ever since.

Either that, or buy a cockring. :rolleyes:

I think "Joey the lips" is talking about lambskin condoms, and to me, they feel the same as latex...

crotalus667

Joey the lips wrote: »

Side note: Cant find a link sorry advanti are out ages these only came out 2 years ago they are made of natural rubber I think

I know i am going to spell this wrong but it "polly-your-a-tine" i'm not sure if it's avinti that makes them , you should be able to buy them cheap in bulk from "the condom king" website

Joey the lips

crotalus667 wrote: »

I know i am going to spell this wrong but it "polly-your-a-tine" i'm not sure if it's avinti that makes them , you should be able to buy them cheap in bulk from "the condom king" website

YES spot on thats them I still cant find the feckers even though I seen them in a shop. I have not tried them so I dont know if they are suitable
but thats them they are ment to be expensive but ultra thin.

Found them on smart paddy website, durex avanti

Durex Avanti condoms are designed to make the moment feel more intimate. Made from polyurethane, they transfer body heat effectively, which means they increase sensitivity and feel much more natural. Transparent, teat-ended condoms made from polyurethane. Non-spermicidally lubricated. Nominal width: 64mm.


Sorry to you who said avanti I just could not see polyurathene in the description before,

sardineta

Spray-on condoms may be here soon:

http://www.switched.com/2007/11/26/spray-on-condoms-invented-ready-for-production/