Multitude of emotions...

LegacyUser

ok so im really confused and i dont know what else...

i am 21yrs old, it was both of ours first ever serious relationship...i broke up with my boyfriend of a little over two years a few weeks ago. we weren't getting on great on every level (at all) and basically i was making both of our lives a misery (even though he says i wasnt making his) nagging him constantly about little things because he is a little immature. i love him loads and he is my best friend and i wish we could hang around and go out with each other now and do things together as friends still but we couldn't it would be just too complicated because he wants to get back together and i dont. id love to be with him but i was miserable the last few months of the relationship and he didnt see that and he just took all of my nagging because he..well i dont know why he did...and i dont want to be a nagger (my mother is a nagger and i am determined not to end up like that)

like after the break up i did cry but like maybe for 5 minutes that was it..and i didnt tell anyone that we broke up that i didnt have to.. i told my brother and my mother and let them tell the rest of my family and obviously i told my close friends.. but i dont want to talk about it..i dont know why maybe for fear of i dont know crying maybe even though i dont want to cry i am happy now i just miss him.. and i still havnt talked about it i dont want to...

my mother probably isnt helping because she absolutely loved him and always thought i was a pure bitch to him but she never knew the half of it like the little fact that in the first 6 months of our relationship he cheated but i could never have told her that because she would be a total bitch to himif she knew..but she doesnt understand she keeps telling me looks isnt everything and love isnt real that once you get married its all gone and ill never find a guy that will treat me as well that wont be a criminal or something totally unacceptable to her. so now shes making me feel bad for wanting my own happiness...and i know looks isnt everything im not looking for looks im looking for happiness...and i was only ever happy in the relationship to a certain extent.. like we were/are great friends and got on great most times but at the same time disagreed on most things..had totally different opinions...had totally different outlooks on things.. are totally different, its hard to explain like we were polar opposites in personality but got on like a house on fire generally e.g. id be sensible enough and very independent.. not a prude like i do go out most weekends..whereas he cant make a decision on his own without consulting his dad first he is totally dependent on his dad for everything doesnt have a job his dad is loaded (or was in the boom times) has a stupid expensive hobby that he is in serious debt for as a result of the recession his dad stopped funding it.like that is just an example of our differences..they were something i thought i could get over but i couldnt in the end..

like i miss him and think about him alot which isnt helped by the fact that he texts everyday just general chit chat and id love to get back with him but it wasnt working..we broke up before for the same reason and he always said it wouldntbe same but it was always the same things we would argue about and he would say they would be different but they never were we were going around in circles..so the relationship i know is a dead duck..flogging a dead horse..waste of time.. and i know this but then why am i still really confused about:-

how i handled the break up first of all (i.e. am i total cold bitch who hides their feeling etc.) and

about whether it was the right thing to do firstly because my mother keeps saying it wasnt and secondly because ive been out a few nights since and every other guy i meet is a total cocky wanker that "knows hes gonna have me on the flat of my back by the end of the night" or "i am going to ride the arse of that one tonight" (both actually said to me and in front of me).

i dont know... like i am happy now not in the relationship im just confused about everything really..i dont know...

i suppose i am just looking for other peoples perspectives/opinions..

Salome

If you feel like you've done the right thing for you, then you've done the right thing.

Don't listen to what your mother says or thinks, she wasn't dating him. Maybe you should fill her in on his infidelity?

And about the comments you've received while out, you don't have to go near these oiks. You don't need to start dating immediately. It's always healthy to take a break between relationships anyway.

star-pants

Ok, my view of this

you guys dated for around 2 years, 19-21 ish, both the first for each other. Thing is even though you didn't get along great all the time, you both have gotten older and perhaps have grown apart more. You knew it was the right thing to breakup, which is why you don't feel the heartache of losing him as a lover, you feel the pain of losing him as a friend. You're not coldhearted you just didn't feel as strongly for him anymore and you knew you needed to move on.

You mother (no offence) has no business trying to guilt trip you over the breakup. Relationships are between those two involved, no one else. She's not in it so she doesn't know how things were or how ye both felt. And you're far too young for her to be running the line of 'you'll never find someone else'. That's crap. You will, in time.

Guys perhaps at the moment aren't right or at the right time. BTW what those guys said, I'd have walked away in disgust myself.

End of the day - it's down to what *you* feel and what *you* want. And if it wasn't working, then it was right to end it. IF you feel happier now, then it was the right choice.