Whats wrong??

LegacyUser

I've been reading threads on this lately, some are similar but I just find things a lil too specific for me. Basically, I'm a guy, looking for gal etc but I feel I'm the only one looking for relationships as opposed to flings etc. And yet I always find the wrong ones, however seldom that is!

It's not that I'm ugly, not trying to sound arrogant or anything, I hardly love myself these days, but I've had my lil "15 mins of fame" if you know what I mean, I was in papers, on TV etc lately (maybe one of ye saw me during it, I dunno) and I've heard on several occasions a couple of peeps in my local town (and even a few of the gorgeous women associated with.... shall we just say "the fame") describing me as something from "cute" to "fit" etc. But I still have a serious problem finding someone!!

One person I was talking to for a few months, I started to like. But she only wanted a player and became very bit**y to a good friend of mine so neither of us have talked to her in a while.
Another one was a mix of bad timing and my fault. I was afraid she was just 'slutty' but turns out she genuinely wanted a relationship, just she'd "been around" from what I'd heard. We got on really well but by the time I made up my mind to go with her, her ex (who she still had feelings for) broke up with his grlfriend and they're trying again. She's tried texting me once or twice but I haven't replied in the last 2 weeks.
The last one lately said she liked me too but just saw us as friends, she probably wanted things to move faster than I did, but I just want to know the person longer than 3 weeks beore going out with them after my last ex cause she was a disaster! Is that abnormal??

Anyway, since then my phone has been quiet. I'm used to texting people for a long time nearly everyday and now that I'm not, I'm getting bored and frankly, a lil depressed! I can't go for nights out much cause I'm a barman working in a nightclub for people older than me so I can't find someone there. And I'm fairly low on confidence etc when it comes to chatting with someone new so when I am out, I'm too quiet to chat someone up. Or I might pass a group of girls on the street and once or twice they've said something like "he's famous" etc, just joking and stuff but I still wouldn't be able to look them in the eye!! I know this points absolutely anywhere but..... what should I do?? Should I try get a night off and just try socialize more? Since the 3rd person I mentioned said she just saw me as a friend, we haven't said a word, should I text her again and be more forward or what??

Sorry for the long post, just wanted to fill in the situation...

Queen-Mise

What age are you OP? The age is a big factor as to what advice/experience to give.

One thing comes to mind, you may talk to a hundred girls before you would meet one you may actually go out with.

It sounds as if your confidence has taken a hit/or all the excitment of whatever your talking about has worn off. If this whole thing has affected you a lot, it may be good to talk to someone and get rid of things lingering on.

Just get out there and start living again - get out and do things, meet people, take up hobbies, all the usual sh*te :rolleyes::rolleyes: Its a cliche, I know, but still true you do meet people doing things.

**Caroline**

Hi

After reading your post, it seems almost as if you're craving a relationship. You're anxious to meet someone and you're worried that because it hasn't happened yet, that you're doing something wrong or it'll never happen.

Some people are lucky enough to meet someone, click with them and live happily ever after. Other people have to date a lot of frogs before they find their prince (or princess in your case lol).:p

Anyways, my advice is just not to give up hope. You're not doing anything wrong. You're probably just looking too hard and in the wrong places. Sometimes when you stop trying so hard and you least expect it, it just happens! (I know that doesn't sound realistic to you at this moment in time, but it's true;))

Try get out there and socialise, enjoy yourself:D and have a bit more confidence in yourself. Meet new people and take up new activities if you have to. When girls see you having a good time, your personality will attract them to you and once you find someone you can talk to and with similar interests or hobbies as you, that's the grounds for a good happy relationship.

It will all fall into place. Take each rejection as an experience. And when you do meet someone you like, try not to get in too deep too quick. Girls will find you clingy if you try to make things serious very fast and it could scare them off.:(

You will meet someone, just hang in there!

Snowie

Hey man

Chill man look if you want something like a relationship, things start to go pair shaped...
You mentioned a previous relationship that went a bit pete tong.
which I can say personally say has happened to me to, what you need to do is pay attention to what your feeling it may not seem the right thing to do but it is... Dissmissing how you feel and then texting people only hides the problem and it can work,, Accepting that you feel possibly lonely a bit unconfident, and unhappy about the things are presently is ok to feel like that we all do ....

What i would say is paying attention to other people is not what you need to be doing you need to pay attention to your self... Your needs wanting to be in a relationship with some one is ok to but you would appear to be quite low.

So my advise would be this

Dont text the 3rd person her thoughts are hers... Dont push thing's with her.. dont be more forward, ule come across as desperate and not incontrol....
You need to pay attention to your self..

I think trying to get out more would be a very good thing, but lets start from square thing but allso since you work in a night club flirt with some women itle help ease your confidance with the ladys... even if they are older....


hope this helps

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies! Well I'll just say I'm in college to give you an idea of my age, I'm getting paranoid someones gonna narrow down who this is, heh.

First thing is this whole thing that happened, I never tried to make a big deal out of it but yeah, the buzz of it has worn down... but I still got a little recognition off some randomer at work just last night...

I may have come across very badly from the first post, thing is, I'm not really looking very hard or anything, I can barely look some people in the eye I don't know why, it's just how I am, I'm normal around my friends but quiet when I'm not. The other thing is I've been doing that whole "just enjoy yourself" thing for ages and it's never worked for me....
And that last relationship I had, we split cause I had to leave most days of the week for colllege and she was in school but the big mistake about it is I didn't get to know her first, we both just kinda liked each other from the start, but she's a psychopath! I mean, she's actually really dangerous in a temper!! That's just one thing, the rest isn't necessary, you get the idea, I'm over her.

I know I may have sounded needy too, I didn't mean that, that's not how I am... at least I hope not anyway heh. The reason the 3rd girl said she just saw me as friend was cause I wanted to get to know her first. She wanted to rush it but I learned from past experience never to do that! The reason I go for relationships is cause flings just aren't my thing, is all. What I meant by "should I text her again" was: should I forget what I learned from my last ex and just go with her??..... That sounds like a 'last resort' situation too, that's not what I meant by that either, I'm really bad at explaining myself, sorry. Hopefully you know what I meant