Didn't enjoy college enough

LegacyUser

This isn't a big deal compared to some but I've recently been feeling down that I spent 4 years and a lot of money going to college and didn't really have any of the 'college experience' at all. It's really hit me now that I'm working that I'm not going to get those years back.
I wasn't a loner or anything, I had a small group of friends but they never really were up for doing much and I found it difficult to apprach people outside lectures. I never understood how other people were always at wild parties and had this mad social life, I just never seemed to meet anyone or get invited to things. I lived in halls and I'd hear other people having fun and I'd be sitting watching TV on my own wishing it was me. I basically went to lectures, the library, for coffee with friends and thats it!! No crazy parties, no drugs, no excessive drinking, none of the 'fun' stuff I wish I'd tried. At the time I thought it was silly and I was too sensible in my outlook - I thought drugs were 'bad' and I went to bed at 11 every night so I would wake up for my lectures! At the time I wanted to do well in college cos I was paying for it myself but now I wish I'd just had a lot more fun! I'm considering doing a postgrad, but I'm 24 now and a bit past the 'wild' years, and I guess postgrads are usually a lot more sensible anyway? I just wish I could go back!

CorkLady1983

planning on going back myself to do a postgrad and hoping to get involved at lot more out side of the course this time round. ..Spent far too much time with my head in the books as an undergrad...sometimes it just takes time to come out of yourself a bit...

Dudess

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm 24 now and a bit past the 'wild' years

Phenomenally untrue. In fact I'm surprised - even some of the oldest-acting people I know didn't feel like that at only 24.
Yes, there are plenty others like you who wish they loosened up a bit during their college years or when they went travelling etc, but some of them are not hit by that realisation until it really is too late - age-wise, commitment-wise etc.
You don't appear to have children or any other significant ties and you're still very young, so why don't you make up for it now? Use your weekends to go partying and having fun. Go for trips abroad. Believe me, that doesn't have to stop until you settle down, so you could have another five to 10 years in which to let your hair down.

dazberry

Unregistered wrote: »

No crazy parties, no drugs, no excessive drinking, none of the 'fun' stuff I wish I'd tried.

The other side of the coin is that you could have done all that, fecked your health and ended up having to drop out in 3 year with nothing to show and leaving your career in a hole for years to come. The grass is not always greener. And FFS 24 is young.

D.

corkkaz

I finished my degree last year and doing a postgrad this year. I enjoyed my college experienced I went out and drank alot. I didnt try the drugs or anything like that but I had the best time.:p

In postgrads, its a stressful hectic year, but what got us through was Thursday night outs, a party when a big assignment was handed in or even I enjoyed about 10 of us sitting in the canteen roaring laughing.

College is what you make of it, if your going back and have time to try and be super friendly to everyone the first few days when no one knows anyone (before groups start forming), join a club or society you would love to join and dont forget your Thursday nights out!!!

Best of luck

Dudess

My postgrad was a brilliant laugh. Yes, it is hard work, but you make time for fun...

cafecolour

I'm in my 30s, and wilder now than when I was 20. It's in your head that being 24 is past your wild years (unless you have a kid. Then you are, sorry. Responsibility for other people = settle down. Responsibility for just yourself = you can be wild).

In fact you are perfectly set up for it now. You've got your college degree - you're not going to have to repeat 3rd years since you spent too much time drinking. It's a recession. Take a year, or half a year out to get a party job/lifestyle.

Spend the summer working in a bar/club in a resort town, or a on a cruise ship, or going from festival to festival volunteering/working for your ticket and food, etc., etc. All these can certainly give you a similar vibe of partying, experimentation, and community in many respects.

Save the postgraduate for when you really want to immerse yourself in a field of study, not to try and recapture some 'college experience' you feel you missed.

KnifeWRENCH

I'm just about to finish 2nd Year and haven't really had the "college experience" as such. I know exactly how you feel when you mention sitting at home on your own watching TV while parties are going around left, right and centre. It is a pretty sickening feeling and I have promised myself I'm going to be much more sociable and carefree next year.

I know it's hard not to think back and have regrets but you're doing yourself no favours by reflecting on the bad times. OK, so your college years could have been better, but unfortunately you can't turn back time and relive them. You just have to look at the positives - you survived college, you did make friends (I love going for coffee and having chats ). I know that's easier said than done, but it's the best way to approach things.

Now the good news: Even if you can't turn back time, by going for a postgrad you have a perfect oppurtunity to make up for lost time. 24 is not that old at all and you definitely don't have to be past the 'wild' years if you don't want to be. You'll still be able to go to parties, make new friends etc. Just make sure if you do go for this postgrad that you relish the social aspects of college life and live it to the full. Undoubtedly doing a postgrad it will be a tough year but with the wisdom and experience gained from having been through college already, you'll have a fair idea of the workload involved and so you can figure out the best way to balance that workload with an improved social life.

Constantly keep an eye out for social events around college you think might interest you and perhaps join a club or a society for the year.

Best of luck!

Lollipops23

i got all that out of my system in 1st year and to a lesser extent 2nd yr. tbh i don't feel like i missed out on anything in 3rd yr, i was in a class with all new people(we got reshuffled) and honestly didn't gel well with most of em. but like another poster said, some of the best times i had in college were sitting in the canteen or smoking area with a big group of people having the craic. even some of the lecturers were a source of fun, one of them insisted on taking the class outside on the green cos it was so sunny:D

seriously OP, i'm sure going for coffee,hanging out with your mates was great fun. think of all the kids who have to drop out due to too much partying and failing exams and assignments.fair play for taking your studies so seriously.

gogglebok

I agree with everyone about not being too old for anything at 24. Ten years later you always look back and wonder what the hell you were worried about - and what pleasures you missed by not getting involved.

I would have two concerns about doing a postgrad now. One is if you're doing it for purely social reasons - that's a lot of work, where you might be better advised joining a few clubs or meetups. The other concern is about tackling a postgrad on top of a job. You're 24 now. A double workload like that and you could be 50 by Christmas.

wylo

Unregistered wrote: »

This isn't a big deal compared to some but I've recently been feeling down that I spent 4 years and a lot of money going to college and didn't really have any of the 'college experience' at all. It's really hit me now that I'm working that I'm not going to get those years back.
I wasn't a loner or anything, I had a small group of friends but they never really were up for doing much and I found it difficult to apprach people outside lectures. I never understood how other people were always at wild parties and had this mad social life, I just never seemed to meet anyone or get invited to things. I lived in halls and I'd hear other people having fun and I'd be sitting watching TV on my own wishing it was me. I basically went to lectures, the library, for coffee with friends and thats it!! No crazy parties, no drugs, no excessive drinking, none of the 'fun' stuff I wish I'd tried. At the time I thought it was silly and I was too sensible in my outlook - I thought drugs were 'bad' and I went to bed at 11 every night so I would wake up for my lectures! At the time I wanted to do well in college cos I was paying for it myself but now I wish I'd just had a lot more fun! I'm considering doing a postgrad, but I'm 24 now and a bit past the 'wild' years, and I guess postgrads are usually a lot more sensible anyway? I just wish I could go back!

tbh dont do a postgrad to get the college 'experience', its contradictive. Postgrads are the time when you actually do have to knuckle down and not go to partys.

Your only 24 and your complaining that your past it, lol , the best parties Ive been at were after I finished college honestly. And I dont mean grown up boring parties, I mean proper wild decent parties. You werent missing that much, its not like college in America like you see in the movies.

Dudess

Postgrads are hard work but you can still have fun one night a week. You're not expected to be studying all the time, and then you have the few months for your thesis - again, hardly gonna be doing thesis work round the clock.

wylo

wylo wrote: »

tbh dont do a postgrad to get the college 'experience', its contradictive. Postgrads are the time when you actually do have to knuckle down and not go to partys.

Hmm I don't know. Obviously you can't be partying every night, but you're still in a college sort of 'atmosphere' where you're meeting lots of people and can work on your own schedule. I hope to socialise a good bit during my Masters, just going for pints on Fridays and that kind of thing. My ex had a great social life during his Masters.

I was the exact opposite of you and trust me, I'd much rather be in your shoes.

Svalbard

Unregistered wrote: »

This isn't a big deal compared to some but I've recently been feeling down that I spent 4 years and a lot of money going to college and didn't really have any of the 'college experience' at all. It's really hit me now that I'm working that I'm not going to get those years back.
I wasn't a loner or anything, I had a small group of friends but they never really were up for doing much and I found it difficult to apprach people outside lectures. I never understood how other people were always at wild parties and had this mad social life, I just never seemed to meet anyone or get invited to things. I lived in halls and I'd hear other people having fun and I'd be sitting watching TV on my own wishing it was me. I basically went to lectures, the library, for coffee with friends and thats it!! No crazy parties, no drugs, no excessive drinking, none of the 'fun' stuff I wish I'd tried. At the time I thought it was silly and I was too sensible in my outlook - I thought drugs were 'bad' and I went to bed at 11 every night so I would wake up for my lectures! At the time I wanted to do well in college cos I was paying for it myself but now I wish I'd just had a lot more fun! I'm considering doing a postgrad, but I'm 24 now and a bit past the 'wild' years, and I guess postgrads are usually a lot more sensible anyway? I just wish I could go back!

I can relate, I went of to college at 17 HUGELY naive and always felt kinda out of the loop or that I should be doing more socialising.
Like you I had a small, yet great group, of friends who preferred just hanging out and enjoying each other's company than going wild.

But there was always this feeling that I wasn't having the proper college experience.

What I have to say to disagree with the above posters is this - not everyone is a wild party animal, and that's just fine! Those making the loudest noise aren't necessarily having the best time. There's nothing wrong with being quieter or more reserved. It doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself, it just means maybe you find different things enjoyable.

So, for me, looking back I don't wish I was more of a party animal, I wish I'd just not worried about what I thought I should be doing and just enjoyed my friends and our 'boring' (yet surprisingly fun) chats over coffee!

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

This isn't a big deal compared to some but I've recently been feeling down that I spent 4 years and a lot of money going to college and didn't really have any of the 'college experience' at all. It's really hit me now that I'm working that I'm not going to get those years back.
I wasn't a loner or anything, I had a small group of friends but they never really were up for doing much and I found it difficult to apprach people outside lectures. I never understood how other people were always at wild parties and had this mad social life, I just never seemed to meet anyone or get invited to things. I lived in halls and I'd hear other people having fun and I'd be sitting watching TV on my own wishing it was me. I basically went to lectures, the library, for coffee with friends and thats it!! No crazy parties, no drugs, no excessive drinking, none of the 'fun' stuff I wish I'd tried. At the time I thought it was silly and I was too sensible in my outlook - I thought drugs were 'bad' and I went to bed at 11 every night so I would wake up for my lectures! At the time I wanted to do well in college cos I was paying for it myself but now I wish I'd just had a lot more fun! I'm considering doing a postgrad, but I'm 24 now and a bit past the 'wild' years, and I guess postgrads are usually a lot more sensible anyway? I just wish I could go back!

I envy you. At least you made friends and are living an Independent life. Im finishing my Undergrad now, and I wish I had done something different. I didnt make friends, I still live at home as I cannot afford it and I have felt depressed since the start of this year. But this thread isnt about me.

Look, you still have loads of time to do whatever you want. You can still party. You can still do the wild crazy student thing, and do a post-grad. Go on a J-1 or an Inter-railing trip, party at the weekend! Why does it have to be while you are in College? I know people in their 30s who act like they are college students, going out mid-week and getting pissed.

Grass is always greener. If you had gone out every night and got drunk and stoned, perhaps you would have been on this forum asking for help, that you cant get into a decent MA or post-grad because you wasted your college years getting wasted instead of learning or getting acceptable grades.

piby

Define the 'college experience'. I say that because I think there's a common perception, helped in no part by the influx of American college movies like Road Trip, American Pie etc., that all there is to college is getting absolutely wasted on drugs/alcohol. Now I'm not going to lie that has been a part of it for me (not the drugs!) but just one tiny part. I know plenty of lads/lassies who drank 8 nights a week living the 'dream' and where are most of them now? College drop-outs sitting at home in their parents' basement who'd give anything to go back and do it the other way!

My point is that you don't need to be in college to drink all the time, you can do that anyway. So my definition of the college experience is one where you have been involved in all aspects of college life, sports, societies etc. Postgrads are hard work! Granted some of my mates are doing ones and live more like students now than they did as undergrads but it's easy when you have a mummy and daddy willing to throw money at ya!

Don't do a postgrad merely for social reasons but if you go ahead with one make the most of it. Join societies, play sports, get involved in the SU even, get to know the party animal in your class in the first days, get to know people in general! The point is it's up to you to go looking for the experiences they won't come to you!

Photojoe

I'm going to take a slightly different view than the rest here.

I would say that yes, you have missed out a bit. You are fairly young but those 18-22 years or being fresh in college are gone for good.

I still have regrets that I didn't go mad enough, sleep with enough women etc.
Still the memories I have with my friends will last me a lifetime. I'm 26 now and we still have wild times but the early years are always fairly special. Orgies, drug and drink madness, jesus when I think of it. Its good that you have your career now and you've done well in college but you could have had a good time and done well. Its a more rounded education in life as well.

But its not all bad, enjoy your life now do some crazy stuff but it will be a bit harder to have the fun times at this point.

Otaku Girl

Call me old fashioned and cynical but...is'nt college supposed to be about getting an education rather than a four year long Roman orgy of decadence?

Photojoe

Otaku Girl wrote: »

Call me old fashioned and cynical but...is'nt college supposed to be about getting an education rather than a four year long Roman orgy of decadence?

It is about both. Always has been.

I threw myself into study, sport, music, women and parties. Not everybody has to replicate that experience but I certainly have very few regrets, mainly that its all over.

Dudess

Photojoe wrote: »

I still have regrets that I didn't go mad enough, sleep with enough women etc.
Still the memories I have with my friends will last me a lifetime. I'm 26 now and we still have wild times but the early years are always fairly special. Orgies, drug and drink madness, jesus when I think of it.

Not everyone's into that though - I hung out with a crowd of people who took ridiculous amounts of drugs and seemed to just **** their way through people simply for the sake of it. I hated all that - found it skanky. I was delighted when they calmed down...

But its not all bad, enjoy your life now do some crazy stuff but it will be a bit harder to have the fun times at this point.

I'd disagree again - yes, the fun times in a college context can't be recaptured (unless of course the OP does a postgrad) but fun times in general? Jeez, I've had countless fun times since joining the working world. Weekends and trips away, festivals... there's ample scope for good times. Plus, there's money.

Photojoe

Dudess wrote: »

Not everyone's into that though - I hung out with a crowd of people who took ridiculous amounts of drugs and seemed to just **** their way through people simply for the sake of it. I hated all that - found it skanky. I was delighted when they calmed down...

I'd disagree again - yes, the fun times in a college context can't be recaptured (unless of course the OP does a postgrad) but fun times in general? Jeez, I've had countless fun times since joining the working world. Weekends and trips away, festivals... there's ample scope for good times. Plus, there's money.

Yes but as you said the college days are gone for good. And don't be dissing sex and drugs, a quality combo

Heard this song the other day and I laughed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOSvrrMVvTI&feature=fvst

Spent time in college in america and it was just like some frat party movie. You haven't lived till you've done keg stands in a toga party and throwing lengths into blonde yanks.

Dudess

Photojoe wrote: »

Yes but as you said the college days are gone for good.

Well maybe the OP might do that postgrad.

And don't be dissing sex and drugs, a quality combo

Well as you can see, I'm not dissing sex and drugs per sé - I'm dissing over-doing the sex and drugs to the point of being scummy

Firetrap

Hey, you're only 24. You're far from an old codger yet - there's still lots of fun to be had out there if you want it. I just hope that you're not associating great times just with college and expecting things to be just the same if you do go back. When I was a year or two older than you, I went back to college to do a part-time diploma and I found it a strange experience. All the students seemed to be kids and the idea of eating plates of raw eggs and onions during rag week for a slab of beer just didn't seem to appeal any more.

Like you, I didn't go mental in college first time round. The only thing I sort of regret is not getting more involved in the clubs and societies but it's a minor quibble. If I wanted to, I could join no end of similar clubs now. Not everyone in college has a mad hectic social life or loads of friends or gets smashed. I've learned that in normal every day life, some people have small groups of friends (that'd be me) and others have loads of friends and are always on the go. It's just the way things are.

piby

Photojoe wrote: »

I'm going to take a slightly different view than the rest here.

I would say that yes, you have missed out a bit. You are fairly young but those 18-22 years or being fresh in college are gone for good.

I still have regrets that I didn't go mad enough, sleep with enough women etc.
Still the memories I have with my friends will last me a lifetime. I'm 26 now and we still have wild times but the early years are always fairly special. Orgies, drug and drink madness, jesus when I think of it. Its good that you have your career now and you've done well in college but you could have had a good time and done well. Its a more rounded education in life as well.

But its not all bad, enjoy your life now do some crazy stuff but it will be a bit harder to have the fun times at this point.

I see where you're coming from but I wouldn't whole-heartedly agree. You see the point I make is how much of the drink, drugs and sex is down to college and how much is down to being young? Sure I would agree that college is a great medium for these things and you know that a lot of the people will, like you, be there to experience new things and hence the above is quite common.

However, you can experience the above without being in college. Sure if anything I've had more of that madness on holidays away and even during nights out in Dublin during non-term time. Admitedly it is a bit harder when you leave college but only if you're the sort of person who, like I said in an earlier post, sits and hopes the fun will come to them. Go out and look and you'll see there's plenty of it to be had!

OP, you're 24 not 44 plenty of time to have a load of crazy adventures college or no college