Renewal of wedding vows - do we need witnesses?

CathyMoran

Hi, hope that the mods do not mind me asking this here, have already asked in weddings and marriage but did not get the answers that I needed. I suppose that I should state that we are RC. We would like to renew our vows, no big deal but would like it to be in a church, not with the full mass as we would just like the two of us and the priest to be there? Can this be done? I would also hope to renew our vows in a big service (with mass if possible) in another 3ish years if am still here, can we do that also? Thanks!

antiskeptic

CathyMoran wrote: »

Hi, hope that the mods do not mind me asking this here, have already asked in weddings and marriage but did not get the answers that I needed. I suppose that I should state that we are RC. We would like to renew our vows, no big deal but would like it to be in a church, not with the full mass as we would just like the two of us and the priest to be there? Can this be done? I would also hope to renew our vows in a big service (with mass if possible) in another 3ish years if am still here, can we do that also? Thanks!

Your priest is the best one to say whether you can do this from a just you 2 + the priest point of view.

Witnesses are required for the civil aspect of the wedding (which happens to take place during the RC religious ceremony) so there is no need for them again - the renewing of vows not being a civil event

CathyMoran

antiskeptic wrote: »

Your priest is the best one to say whether you can do this from a just you 2 + the priest point of view.

Witnesses are required for the civil aspect of the wedding (which happens to take place during the RC religious ceremony) so there is no need for them again - the renewing of vows not being a civil event

It would be the same lovely priest again, I suppose that I should just ring him? I dont fully remember our wedding as I was ill (though I knew full well that I was getting married - it gave me the strength to carry on), so I would like to say our vows again. Thanks.

arynne

This is sad. Renewing your wedding vows is like washing your clean linen in public.

antiskeptic

CathyMoran wrote: »

It would be the same lovely priest again, I suppose that I should just ring him? I dont fully remember our wedding as I was ill (though I knew full well that I was getting married - it gave me the strength to carry on), so I would like to say our vows again. Thanks.

Understandable under the circumstances. God bless.

CathyMoran

arynne wrote: »

This is sad. Renewing your wedding vows is like washing your clean linen in public.

I dont see how it is sad - I am very proud of my husband. Explain?

Fanny Cradock

arynne wrote: »

This is sad. Renewing your wedding vows is like washing your clean linen in public.

Listen, either contribute something useful, or don't bother posing. It is that simple.

iseeyou

I would tend to agree with arynne, not that its sad as such, but if people can just go and renew their wedding vows whenever they want then whats the point in getting married in the first place, the whole point of getting married is that the vows you take are for life, they dont expire after x amount of years, its not like getting your driving licence renewed, each to their own but I know when I say my vows I intend to only say them once!

magenta73

Hi Cathy, no, you dont need any witness, all you need is your marriage cert, because the priest has to check out that you are in fact married in the first place and not trying to pull a fast one. I think it's a great idea and being married to my lovely husband for 15 years we renewed ours 3 years ago! fair play to you! and Congratulations!

Fanny Cradock

iseeyou wrote: »

I would tend to agree with arynne, not that its sad as such, but if people can just go and renew their wedding vows whenever they want then whats the point in getting married in the first place, the whole point of getting married is that the vows you take are for life, they dont expire after x amount of years, its not like getting your driving licence renewed, each to their own but I know when I say my vows I intend to only say them once!

Again, keep it to yourself. A question was asked about a specific aspect of renewing your vows. If you can't answer the query then don't post.

homer911

Best Wishes Cathy - I think its great that after been married for a good many years, you are still so much in love and committed to your husband that you'd be prepared to do it all again. I've read your other post and it seems you weren't in a position to enjoy it so much the first time round - go for it!

I'm not so sure my wife would want to reaffirm her vows after our 20 years! She puts up with a lot!

philologos

CathyMoran: God bless you, and your husband. Despite what others have said on this thread, I think renewing your marriage vows could be a strengthening of the resolve you have to eachother, and a strengthening of the purpose of your relationship. I don't think it's sad in the slightest. Good luck with it

Tim Robbins

arynne wrote: »

This is sad. Renewing your wedding vows is like washing your clean linen in public.

I think you should press the pause button arynne. Cathy is a regular boards poster and is always very helpful to other posters. If I remember correctly, she had some tougher times and obviously now feels this is something she wants to do.

Cathy delighted for you. Hope you get something you want.

arynne

At the risk of being thrown out, I will explain: When I see a 'Baby On Board' sign hanging on the rear window of the car in front of me I ask myself: What purpose is that serving? (in terms of road safety). It is serving no purpose except one. The purpose it is serving is to tell us all that the occupants of the car have managed to produce a baby. That is crass triumphalism and can be very hurtful to infertile couples. I know that because I deal with them.
Simularly, when I hear of people wanting to renew their wedding vows I ask myself: What purpose is this serving? (in terms of improving their relationship) None, is the answer. But it does, at least to me anyway, smack of triumphalism. This might well be hurtful to people who struggle to keep their marrages together. Again, I know that because I deal with them.
And that is why I quoted Oscar Wild about washing clean linen in the hope of instilling a bit of humor. Obviously it was wasted around here.

Seaneh

She didn't ask fior a debate. she asked for specific information. Either offer that specific information or jog on.

philologos

arynne wrote: »

Simularly, when I hear of people wanting to renew their wedding vows I ask myself: What purpose is this serving? (in terms of improving their relationship) None, is the answer. But it does, at least to me anyway, smack of triumphalism. This might well be hurtful to people who struggle to keep their marrages together. Again, I know that because I deal with them.
And that is why I quoted Oscar Wild about washing clean linen in the hope of instilling a bit of humor. Obviously it was wasted around here.

Actually redoing the marriage vows can be useful in cases where people have struggled with their marriage. They might need to refind the purpose in their marriage so as to hold it better together.

If your main argument against doing marriage vows is that others may get hurt if they have broken marriages. It isn't their marriage that they are dealing with.

It is wasted, because we don't live in a society where married couples should have to pander to the sensitivities of others if they want to renew their vows.

CathyMoran

arynne wrote: »

At the risk of being thrown out, I will explain: When I see a 'Baby On Board' sign hanging on the rear window of the car in front of me I ask myself: What purpose is that serving? (in terms of road safety). It is serving no purpose except one. The purpose it is serving is to tell us all that the occupants of the car have managed to produce a baby. That is crass triumphalism and can be very hurtful to infertile couples. I know that because I deal with them.
Simularly, when I hear of people wanting to renew their wedding vows I ask myself: What purpose is this serving? (in terms of improving their relationship) None, is the answer. But it does, at least to me anyway, smack of triumphalism. This might well be hurtful to people who struggle to keep their marrages together. Again, I know that because I deal with them.
And that is why I quoted Oscar Wild about washing clean linen in the hope of instilling a bit of humor. Obviously it was wasted around here.

While I respect your view point I still do not see any harm in renewing our vows. As someone who is having issues with my fertility at the moment (miscarriages) I do not find the baby on board signs offensive, though I will admit that I avoid going into Mothercare, but I still love children! In terms of our vows, I meant them the first time, I just want to reafirm them for us as I was very ill the first time we said them - it would not be a big ceremony. I am hoping (if I am still here) that we have a big renewal ceremony after 5 years as that will also be linked with me being in remission from a very serious illness for 5 years, I did not get to plan my wedding as I was too ill, it is my dream to be involved in the ceremony this time. I do not know if you deal with people with serious illnesses but sometimes we need something to keep us going and this is something for us.

We are looking into having the ceremony for the two of us, am looking forward to it, should be very special.

arynne

I need to apologise to CathyMoran. I was referring to renewal of marrage vows in general. Her case is special. I'm sorry.

Film company

arynne wrote: »

At the risk of being thrown out, I will explain: When I see a 'Baby On Board' sign hanging on the rear window of the car in front of me I ask myself: What purpose is that serving? (in terms of road safety). It is serving no purpose except one. The purpose it is serving is to tell us all that the occupants of the car have managed to produce a baby. That is crass triumphalism and can be very hurtful to infertile couples. I know that because I deal with them.
Simularly, when I hear of people wanting to renew their wedding vows I ask myself: What purpose is this serving? (in terms of improving their relationship) None, is the answer. But it does, at least to me anyway, smack of triumphalism. This might well be hurtful to people who struggle to keep their marrages together. Again, I know that because I deal with them.
And that is why I quoted Oscar Wild about washing clean linen in the hope of instilling a bit of humor. Obviously it was wasted around here.

Sit the **** down and shut the **** up. I advice that you either wash the sand out of your vagina or grow a heart. If a couple want to express their love for each other again than that is none of your biz. So unless you have something constructive to say, may you forever hold your piece. Damn, why not go one further. Go to the wedding and say it to their face. So who broke your heart to make you so nasty. Get your act together and allow them to have their moment. Also you have already put your linen out for the public to see with your comments on how much of a wicked spinster you are. Now be quite.

Film company

philologos wrote: »

Actually redoing the marriage vows can be useful in cases where people have struggled with their marriage. They might need to refind the purpose in their marriage so as to hold it better together.

If your main argument against doing marriage vows is that others may get hurt if they have broken marriages. It isn't their marriage that they are dealing with.

It is wasted, because we don't live in a society where married couples should have to pander to the sensitivities of others if they want to renew their vows.

Well done for taking that step. I want to do the same. I love my wife and if I could do it I would marry her everyday for the rest of my life. I agree with the point of struggle and the act to renew. Marriage is not easy but to renew shows that we will never give up on our loves. Sickness and health is the promise we made. YOU GO GIRL XXXX

Delirium

MOD NOTE

Locking this thread as it's quite old.

@Film Company, please try refrain from being hostile/abusive to other posters in any future postings.

Thanks for your attention.