I hate my stepsister

useful_contacts

The title sounds dramatic but i do. I found out this week that she attacked my father in a drunken state and gave him a black eye.

This little 17 year old brat has already taken years off his life with taking drugs/ drinking/ having unprotected sex with the scumbags of our town, being caught giving the local homeless guy a bj, being arrested, defacing property/ stealing. The list goes on...

The whole family is furious with her and one of my older sisters is bulling for her blood because during this drunken fight with my dad she also kicked my niece in the back(shes the same age)

She and this niece of mine were caught doing drugs when they were both 14, my niece had her eminem ticket ripped up, her holiday cancelled, her phone taken off her and was grounded for 6 months. My stepsister got a telling off and that was it.

Nowdays my niece is a sensible 17 year old doing her leaving cert, has a job at the weekends and is saving for college, doesnt drink/smoke. Being punished for what she did has made her into a sensible person(her words)

Meanwhile after being caught with drugs the first time my sister went on a 2 week holday with my parents to spain because she was "upset about what happened", She has never been punished for anything my stepmother just turns a blind eye and keeps everything from my father(he doesnt know half the stuff she has done)

But now everything she has ever done has come out

i was up the other day visiting my dad and for a man of 65 he looks 90- stressed and exhausted with a black eye the size of texas. That little cow was sitting across the sitting room smirking and when my father left the room i admit i walloped her across the face. I hate that little bitch so much , im so angry at her shes killing my father slowly and thinks its a joke!! My stepmother claims shes "sorry" and wants to make amends with the family... but its not happening. No one in the family wants anything to do with her anymore she is poison

LegacyUser

Sounds like shes very unhappy TBH. Obviously her behaviour around your father isnt on, but to some extent, in fact to a very large extent, those responsible for her care are the ones who have been negligent in allowing her to grow up in the way she has done. You say shes only 17, but she has been brought into a family situation, you (not just you obviously but you sound like you are at least a couple of years older then her) are responsible for ensuring her wellbeing, that she grows into a normal adult. How would you rate the wellbeing of a young girl who is going around giving homeless men blowjobs? It doesnt seem fair to me to hate her for what you have allowed her to become.

I have a friend who I can somewhat relate your stepsister to. His parents allowed him to become the asshole that he is. However its not just your families lives that this girl is harming, its her own. What future does she have? What aspirations?

Im not sure what exactly you can do about it, and I can understand your hatred of someone who treats your father in this way, but you cant evade the responsibility which is yours even if only in part for allowing her to turn out this way. Spare a thought for how sh1t she must feel most of the time to act the way she does

ellie1

useful_contacts wrote: »

The title sounds dramatic but i do. I found out this week that she attacked my father in a drunken state and gave him a black eye.

I feel very sorry for her. She seems like a very angry and hurt girl. So do you.This little 17 year old brat has already taken years off his life with taking drugs/ drinking/ having unprotected sex with the scumbags of our town, being caught giving the local homeless guy a bj, being arrested, defacing property/ stealing. The list goes on...

The whole family is furious with her and one of my older sisters is bulling for her blood because during this drunken fight with my dad she also kicked my niece in the back(shes the same age)

She and this niece of mine were caught doing drugs when they were both 14, my niece had her eminem ticket ripped up, her holiday cancelled, her phone taken off her and was grounded for 6 months. My stepsister got a telling off and that was it.

Nowdays my niece is a sensible 17 year old doing her leaving cert, has a job at the weekends and is saving for college, doesnt drink/smoke. Being punished for what she did has made her into a sensible person(her words)

Meanwhile after being caught with drugs the first time my sister went on a 2 week holday with my parents to spain because she was "upset about what happened", She has never been punished for anything my stepmother just turns a blind eye and keeps everything from my father(he doesnt know half the stuff she has done)

But now everything she has ever done has come out

i was up the other day visiting my dad and for a man of 65 he looks 90- stressed and exhausted with a black eye the size of texas. That little cow was sitting across the sitting room smirking and when my father left the room i admit i walloped her across the face. I hate that little bitch so much , im so angry at her shes killing my father slowly and thinks its a joke!! My stepmother claims shes "sorry" and wants to make amends with the family... but its not happening. No one in the family wants anything to do with her anymore she is poison

She was 14 when some of this behaviour occurred. The fact that your father and stepmother choose not to punish her behaviour indicates to me that they are partially to blame for her turning out this way. Young children and teenagers need boundaries and rules and when there are none in place, they turn to attension seeking behaviour.

She hit her father and you hit her. You have deemed her actions as acceptable by hitting her. I understand your anger and you have every right to be.

I think you need to change your attitude towards your step sister. Apolisigise to her in the hope of trying to forge a relationship with her. Maybe she is looking for the sibling love that you have with your other sister. Talk to her and try to explain things from your point of view. I know she was smirking but often people act like this when nervous or guilty.

It seems there is a lot of other issues there and this 17 year old may be the brunt of much bitterness and resentment. Correct me if I am wrong.

Snowie

I can see your point Op and I can understand, it..

What i will say is that kid is screaming for attention.
her action are out landish in every way like

what self respecting girl gives a homeless guy a bj ?

Not many its clear she has no idea on what's right or wrong, so that would indecate a poor up bringing...

So I wouldnt burn your step sister I'd burn your step mother and father for not bringing her up properly!

Communicator

The previous poster is correct, your stepsister is crying out for attention.

Have you thought that she herself has some underlying issues with someone? The fact that she has been sexualised by such a young age screams to me, that she (perhaps) has been abused herself? I have worked with people who have suffered sexual abuse and it many cases, they behave like your step sister at a young age.

Has anyone spoken to her about her behaviour and tried to get to the bottom of it?

Lollipops23

honestly i agree with other posters that lack of parental guidance is more to blame than anything else. however, that's not you dad's place, it's her mums. that's speaking as someone with parents/step parents in the equation. there are boundaries when it's a step parent and the real parent can take huge offence in being told how to raise "their" child,even though the step parent takes on many other parenting responsibilities. crap,i know, but that's how it is in most cases.

your step mum needs to wake up, NOW.it's not too late to save this kid from herself. it honestly sounds like she needs proper help; as mentioned,there's something badly wrong with a kid giving BJs to a hobo.

You have every right to be angry,i'd be baying for blood if it was me. but it'd be your stepmums, not the kid.