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Don't know what to feel anymore

  • 30-04-2009 12:19pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Sorry if it is going to be a bit incoherent.

    Me and OH decided we'd like to have a baby sometime this year. I scheduled a health check up and stuff like that...The atmosphere in the house was somehow really nice. I suppose it was overall exciting even though nothing was happening yet (I'm still on the pill).
    We talked a lot about our future together with a small one and all sorts of things we want to do before we start trying (like a nice trip).

    But the other day we had a talk about a possibility of moving to a different city for a funded postgrad course because the work situation here is not great and I have only occasional employment now and OH's long term employment is not very certain.
    So we were talking about having to put the whole baby thing on hold for a few years.

    Which is all ok and reasonable and probably a right thing to do given the circumstances but then following this both of us just broke down. I cried a lot and he felt incredibly sad. It was weird. We are both confused. Now I just feel numb and don't know what to make of mine and his reaction to entire thing and what I do and do not want.

    I suppose I don't really have a defined question to ask, just wondering if anyone else was in the same boat.


Comments

  • #2
    littlebitdull
    Closed Accounts Posts: 518 ✭✭✭littlebitdull


    In a way you are almost mourning the loss of your child. You and your husband were planning your life around this little person - the fact that the wee one was only in your heads doesn't make this any less of a loss.

    If the right decision for you now is to wait - this feeling should pass. So give it a little time. See how you feel.

    Maybe say to each other that you are putting it on hold for a short time - and review the situation sooner than you are planning on now?


  • #3
    star-pants
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    Good advice above.
    You'd mentally prepared in your head for a baby and then decision is made that you won't get that bady for a few years. It is understandable you're disappointed/emotional over it.

    How does your partner feel? Was he ok with putting it on hold or was he upset like you?


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    star-pants wrote: »
    Good advice above.

    How does your partner feel? Was he ok with putting it on hold or was he upset like you?

    He was upset as well. More upset than he ever expected to be too. I think he also feels a bit guilty that he was the one to suggest both things first.

    I think in some ways he feels like he ade it more complicated for me and it's making him feel worse.


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