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  • 29-04-2009 1:45pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm not really sure where to start here but things haven't been going well for me lately. I keep thinking about stuff that happened in the passed and not a lot it was good.

    I should really be more specific but it frightens me. I know I should move on and whats done is done but I can't.

    I just keep wondering where would I be now if I'd kept my baby, if I hadn't walked down that lane, if I hadn't gone to that party...etc. I'm pretty you can guess the things I'm alluding to.

    I've tried going to talk to someone but it doesn't help even though I've told them everything. I've tried shoving it to the back of my mind. Nothing seems to be working...

    I don't know what to do. I hate to be whinging which is what I feel like I'm doing whenever I think or try to talk about these things.

    It feels like its just getting worse and worse...


Comments

  • #2
    kdak
    Closed Accounts Posts: 96 ✭✭kdak


    those feelings are completely natural if im understanding your post in the right way.
    its hard to know without fulll details but i can guess.
    its not your fault. at all. no matter what you wore, what you drank, who you to talked to...
    about the baby, it obviously wasnt the time or circumstance for you and thats more than understandable.
    theres not more i can say without knowing the full story or at least knowing ive picked you up in the right way, which you obviously dont want to go into and thats perfectly understandable.
    im relatively new here, so i don't know who anybody is or anything so if you wanna pm me feel free as you'll still be annonomous to me.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    You are on the right track... Sometimes I just feel so helpless... I can't help but feel stupid when I think like this!


  • #4
    kdak
    Closed Accounts Posts: 96 ✭✭kdak


    don't feel stupid at all. theres no reason to.
    of course you're gonna think 'what if' but if its affecting you on a regular basis you need to get some help dealing with those feelings.

    do your family know what you've been through? or your friends?

    have you had any 'closure' on the issue? like have you faced the people/ procedures you need to before you can move on??
    the baby for example, have you mourned your loss properly? because whether or not it was your decision to do what you did, it was a bloody hard one to make, you know? and if you're feeling a sense of loss for the child then you need to grieve, whether it be for the baby or the 'what that could have been', whatever you just need to let it out and talk about it.

    and even if you had kept the baby there still would have been 'what if' feelings, believe me. if it wasnt your time to have a baby and you decided to do it anyway you would have been thinking 'i could be getting on with my life but instead ive to mind the baby' and things like that. i know that sounds horrible but i think that would have been the case if you genuinely werent in a position to be a mum at that moment in time.

    i hope im helping a little, if im in the wrong direction let me know and il try get back on the same track as you...


  • #5
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    Hi OP,
    If you have tried to talk to someone professional and it hasnt helped would you consider finding someone different to talk to? Sometimes we need to make a connection with counsellers or professionals of that nature to be able to really work through our feelings.

    Dont for a minute feel like you are whinging - you are not. You have a real issue that is causing you emotional pain and that means that its healthy to talk about it and deal with it, keeping it in would only make it eat away at you and wreck you from the inside out.

    You know its ok to feel the way you do, it doesnt mean there is anything wrong with you, it just means that you have some stuff you need to get your head around so that you can move on with your life and deal with things.

    Have you told your GP how you are feeling?

    It may be of benefit to you to find some kind of group therapy where you get to relate to others who have had a similar experience to you - I am sure your GP or the internet could help you find such a group.

    Whatever you do dont feel bad for feeling bad - if you know what I mean, let it out of your system and tell someone you trust how you are feeling and seek the proper help for yourself.


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