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Buy the ring or let her pick?

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  • 28-04-2009 12:49pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 3


    Hi all, I'm going to pop the question to her in the next few weeks but am stuck with the question of do I buy the ring first or let her choose?

    I'm taking her away to a romantic location to pop the question but I just think it would be a bit of an anti-climax if I ask "will you marry me" and then have no ring to put on the finger.

    I know her tastes in rings wouldn't be too far from the norm so I don't think I'd go too far wrong choosing one for her but just worried that I might ruin an idea she might have in her head for her "perfect engagement ring".

    Any opinions, I've changed my mind on this 10 times while typing the post :confused:


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 508 ✭✭✭Sesame


    I'd say buy it. I got mine during the proposal and it makes the ring more special to me knowing that he chose it all on his own.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,196 ✭✭✭mel123


    Hi all, I'm going to pop the question to her in the next few weeks but am stuck with the question of do I buy the ring first or let her choose?

    I'm taking her away to a romantic location to pop the question but I just think it would be a bit of an anti-climax if I ask "will you marry me" and then have no ring to put on the finger.

    I know her tastes in rings wouldn't be too far from the norm so I don't think I'd go too far wrong choosing one for her but just worried that I might ruin an idea she might have in her head for her "perfect engagement ring".

    Any opinions, I've changed my mind on this 10 times while typing the post :confused:

    let her pick, BUT, go to even Argos and get somethingd dressy and inexpensive to put on her finger, otherwise ur losing the whole idea of proposing and then going, oh well i have not got a ring...sorry!! i think its a risk picking the ring urself, like what if she doesnt like it, ok most jewellers will let u exhange, but it doesnt mean she will like one in that particular shop.
    DEFO got to let her pick. she has got to LOVE this ring, for the rest of her life, so IMO let her pick!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 177 ✭✭bensoneb


    DEFINATELY I would recommend that the two of you choose the ring together. As other posters have recommended, buy a cheapie so that you have something for the moment, although I think even if you don't have a ring, it's a special moment anyhow.

    Choosing the ring together is a very special occasion and it also helps to drag out the celebration for a bit.

    Good luck toyou.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3 monkeymagic_24


    Thanks all. All the offline input on this falls into two camps. Most blokes have told me things along the lines of "because she'll be wearing it forever bring her to choose it just in case she hates the one you get" whilst girls have gone with what Sesame have said. I think I'll be tossing this around in my head a while longer but thanks so far.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,362 ✭✭✭Trotter


    I gave my wife tickets to Dubai for a long weekend to pick out her ring. She had always been talking about how amazing the rings there were so I gave her the tickets first, and as she was wondering what the fek was going on, I popped the question.

    I knew she'd say yes because she'd miss the weekend in Dubai otherwise :D Happily married now!

    The ring you can get over there for your budget is far and beyond whats available here, and the variety is so huge, so the cost/effort of the trip was absolutely worth it.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 32 kittykat84


    def. let her pick. different diamonds suit different fingers. you could buy a plain wedding band and propose with that, then pick the perfect diamond ring together.:) it is very hard to judge a ring with out seeing it on your girlfriend/ future wifes finger. i've just picked my ring. the ring i had in my mind (solitare) didnt suit my finger at all, ended up choosing three stone ring which i love.
    i love the idea of using a wedding band to propose then use it when ye get married.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3 monkeymagic_24


    Thanks all for your help. I think I've decided I'll have to let her pick her own. Sooooo, taking all the advice in about letting her pick herself and doing it cheaper out of country...we're flying back through Antwerp to get the ring :D

    Decision...finally...

    I think ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,802 ✭✭✭statss


    I'm doing it all myself. I reckon it'll be more romantic. How can you propose without a proper ring ?!


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,385 ✭✭✭Jemmy


    Well OP congrats!
    Trotter wrote: »
    I gave my wife tickets to Dubai for a long weekend to pick out her ring. She had always been talking about how amazing the rings there were so I gave her the tickets first, and as she was wondering what the fek was going on, I popped the question.

    I knew she'd say yes because she'd miss the weekend in Dubai otherwise :D Happily married now!

    The ring you can get over there for your budget is far and beyond whats available here, and the variety is so huge, so the cost/effort of the trip was absolutely worth it.

    Heard of a few ppl doing this, great idea I think and I'm a lady btw!
    I def think let her pick her own.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,796 ✭✭✭MJOR


    Good luck! let her pick and just get her a cheap and cheerful one for the actual proposal


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27 Mary42


    MJOR wrote: »
    Good luck! let her pick and just get her a cheap and cheerful one for the actual proposal

    I have to agree with this. Get a cheap one for the proposal and then let her pick the engagement ring


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,661 ✭✭✭mickman


    monkey magic - where are you going to pop the questeion?


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,905 ✭✭✭Rob_l


    I say buy it, they are accepting your marriage proposal not a gift voucher to go jewelery shopping


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 147 ✭✭ASIL1983


    I am hopefully getting engaged later this year and my boyfriend will be buying the ring and i wouldnt want it any other way. I dont think the ring would mean as much to me if i picked it out-he knows what i like and want so i dont think he can go too far wrong.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 177 ✭✭bensoneb


    Rob_l wrote: »
    I say buy it, they are accepting your marriage proposal not a gift voucher to go jewelery shopping

    This is a ridiculous statement! Accepting a proposal doesn't mean that we should run the risk of wearing a totally unsuitable ring for the rest of our lives. I would bet that alot of women on this site thought they knew what type of ring they wanted until they actually started to try them on. So, what you think may suit someone may be totally unsuitable afterall ...

    An engagement ring is a symbol of something very special so choosing the ring should be a special occasion also. My husband proposed to me and that in itself for a memorable occasion. However, the actual shopping and choosing of the ring was an occasion that was made way more special by sharing it. It was a very exciting time and it helped to keep that natural 'high' going for a week instead of a once off brief moment.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,661 ✭✭✭mickman


    well said. of course the woman should be involved. i wouldnt like if she bought me an expensive watch without my input


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21 Ruby Rainbow


    To ech their own...
    But I'd definitly want a ring bought for me...If I picked it it wouldnt be as magical.
    But Men? Keep reciepts just in case....;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 467 ✭✭aoibhebree


    Definitely definitely go shopping together to buy it!! Before I got engaged, my fiance and I had looked in shop windows together and had always like the exact same ones, so if he'd gotten it on his own, he would have picked exactly what I thought I wanted. But he didn't buy it - and I still had the most romantic proposal ever, and he gave me a box with gorgeous diamond earrings in it. Then when we went shopping together for it the next day, the style of ring I thought I definitely wanted didn't suit me at all, and we ended up going for something totally different that I didn't think I'd like at all - and we both absolutely loved it, still do! Also we spent that whole weekend together (with him spoiling me rotten!), and my memories of going shopping for it and everything are every bit as special as the proposal itself.

    I'm not saying that getting engaged is all about a bit of jewellery, but for the next few weeks it's all that friends and family are going to be looking at it, and it's lovely to know that you picked it together and it's definitely what you wanted. I mean, even if you bought one for your fiancee and she loved it, there might always be that little niggling doubt in the back of her mind that it mightn't just be "the" perfect ring.

    This is (hopefully!) her one and only ever experience of getting engaged, and I think that going shopping for the ring together just makes it so much more special and lovely. And as for the proposal - who cares if you don't have a ring, think of something else, be creative!!!

    Good luck :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13 Betti


    Buy the ring together - it's so special! You can make a big day of it and they'll put trays of fabulous diamonds in front of her (it's kinda like pretty woman or being a princess:)

    This is what I did and I wouldn't change it for the world - my ring is totally unique and had he picked it I think I would have got a prefectly nice ring but it wouldn't have been my perfect ring.

    Buy a temporary one for the proposal - she can wear it on the other hand once you have the sparkler!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18 query08


    Different girls like it different ways, and it really depends on what your taste in jewelery is! My finance got my diamond in South Africa and got the ring custom made here, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. i absolutly love my diamond, and I feel it would have taken from the proposal if he didnt have hte ring, but then I always knew he had great taste in jewlery. If you have ever bought her jewlery before and she didnt seem over the moon with it, I would let her choose herself!
    I think it really makes it special though that he put all the thought into what would suit you!!


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