Could I be asexual?

LegacyUser

hi tthere, im in my late 30's. never had a serious boyfriend. have fallen in love with guys in short term relationships(4 months longest..). have slept wit lots of men usually when drunk.
fantisize about men when masturbating.

hwever am noticing now as im getting older and not going out drinking as much..have no interest in men..??i would love a relationship and kids but when i go out(when..) there is no men that take my fancy...at all??!! its freaking me out a little now as have had not an encounter in over 2 years now...all my single frinends are in and out of relationships...sometimes I pretend to be interested in someone or will say in conversation of I remember my ex Peter... etc...just to fit it!!

Any ideas???I d suffer from depression...and not much self worth...the longer i am single the more I feel unfeminine...ugly...something wrong...

And have tried the whole internet dating and speed dating - terrible....

Wibbs

Unregistered wrote: »

Any ideas???I d suffer from depression...and not much self worth...the longer i am single the more I feel unfeminine...ugly...something wrong...

Which is probably the main reason for the lack of romantic feelings. The lack of one for a time, then feeds the other.

Would you not consider counseling? To get yourself back on an even keel emotionally. Then you will be much more open to the idea of another.

LegacyUser

Could be perimenopause.

tolosenc

Unregistered wrote: »

have fallen in love with guys

fantisize about men when masturbating

You're not asexual.

MB Lacey

I don't think you sound a-sexual - just bored.
You, along with loads of others go out, don't meet anyone you're attracted to and assume the problem lies with you.
Not necessarily.

If your social interests have moved on from going out to pubs/clubs - what are you actually doing to be social?

If you suffer from depression, as another poster said, this can lead to a major lack of motivation to get out there.
You should try and fight that feeling as much as possible through counselling/medication/exercise - whatever works for you.
But it does sound like you need to make a different kind of effort to get out to places other than pubs/online dating.

Spend a bit of time on the internet doing a search on social groups who meet up.
Might be crap but you won't know unless you try it - and the alternative is to just keep staying at home which you're not happy with either.


good luck.

kittenkiller

You've probably just gotten to a stage where it's been so long since you had an intimate relationship with someone that you've forgotten what you're missing out on.

Stop being so down on yourself.
Arrange a good night out with friends and get all dolled up beforehand, head to the beauty salon or hairdressers for it.
Do something that'll get you enthusiastic about solialising, not even going on the pull.
The better you feel about yourself, the more likely you are to brush off the issues you mentioned above and start enjoying yourself.
And whatever your preference, having fun and enjoying yourself is the bottom line!

Best of luck.

Dudess

Depression kills libido, kills interest in what one is normally interested in, dents a person's self esteem, makes them feel guilty and punish themselves... seems like that's what the problem is. Go to your doctor.

It doesn't seem at all as if you're asexual.