My girlfriend & facebook

LegacyUser

Hi guys,
this has been bugging me for a while , am I over-reacting? would like some advice pls.
been in a relationship with my gf for 2 years now, healthy normal relationship etc
I've noticed in the last few weeks that my gf has been accepting/inviting a lot of foreign men to her facebook friend list. at first this did'nt bother me,it's not my business to say who she can or can't have as a friend on f/book,but over the last week there has been over 20 new guys on her friend list & i don't know why but it started to bug me
Anyway there was one guy who had a public account & of course I could'nt resist so I checked out his page. My g/f had left a comment on his wall which read " hi there, how are you! thanks for accepting my friendship invitation...hope we can be in contact".
I'm just confused now, should I ask her why she's sending invitations to guys from around the world or am I been just totally paranoid & over-reacting. As i said our relationship is good,so why am I feeling so jealous? thanks for listening.

liah

Maybe she wants to expand her cultural horizons?

Bit odd, but her comment doesn't seem hugely conspicuous.. actually seems quite businesslike.

Does she do much online in general? I have a load of foreign guys on my facebook via gaming, design, and various forums.

Perhaps she's on a forum where she's met some people who can help her with something or made friends with them?

Just ask her.

TriceMarie

Yes,i can understand where your coming from...and ofcorse your going to be slighty jelous as I'm sure you love her...Perhaps ask her in an un-invasive way?

star-pants

Hi OP, personally I'd find it a little odd. But that's me.
I've seen girls/guys on bebo/facebook who just add everyone (dunno why) so it's not completely uncommon. Does she work? Maybe if she's a lot of spare time she's adding people to talk to.

Chocoholic84

Hey, you're definitely not over-reacting! I'd be weirded out by that, quite frankly.

Why does she feel the need to be adding strange men to her friends list?
I guess if she was single, it would be ok...but when she has a b/f?

I bet she wouldn't be too thrilled if you went around adding strange women to your friends list! In fact, maybe you should, and see if she says anything....

all the stars

I dunno,

I have a facebook and add plenty of people in other countries for networking purposes. Nothing else.
Posssibly your over-reacting.

Has she any plans to travel?
The forums suggestion is a good answer too.

But yes, you should be worried. I wouldn't advise playing games though. I'd just be honest and ask her. Maybe make a joke of it! 'I'm thinking of buying a sunbed after i seen the amount of foreign blokes you've been adding!!' Or make an effort to spend a little more time together or make the time you do spend a bit more interesting.

There are some proper facebook weirdos out there. My ex adds everyone she ever met and updates her status 5 times a day sometimes. I don't get it at all but maybe your girl is low in confidence and trying to boost the old friends count.

bubblewrap

If it was anything sinister, she wouldn't be leaving comments on their walls - but saying that, I would feel a little uncomfortable with the idea. I agree, try adding some random girls and if she feels it is unacceptable, then confront her about the foreign men.

LegacyUser

Does she use MSN? A friend of mine uses facebook to get in contact with these men (she has a thing for dark skinned men, turks, algerians etc) and then she chats, and does a little bit more, on MSN. This seems to be the MO of these guys.

Personally I'd be wierded out by it as they're men shes making contact with, not women. Next time shes on facebook ask her to look up a mutual frends page, then 'notice' the amount of men shes friends with and mention that you're not comfortable with it.

I think the only thing you have to worry about here is that you need to ask us.

In my opinion relationships will not work without trust and communication.

You need to just say “wow, I’ve noticed this, what’s that all about” and see what she says.

I live with two girls at the moment and our rule is that we are honest and open about everything and we ALWAYS communicate. Otherwise it just couldn’t work.

Also the longer you leave it before talking about it, the angrier and more paranoid you will be, and the less calm, rational and productive you will be when talking about it. Talk now rather than explode later.

I think you will find she is interested in some aspect of foreign culture that she can only find out about by talking to people in that culture.

Das Kitty

liah wrote: »

Just ask her.

This.

kittenkiller

Maybe she's adding people so she can increase her group sizes in all those application yokes.

I have over 1000 "friends" on FB but probably only kow 20% of them in real life.