Some basic sex etiquette questions

LegacyUser

Hi, despite these questions I have actually had sex a few times, not enough for age my mind you (24), I am relatively very inexperienced and have only been with a few women through the years.

Im just wondering the answers to some basic basic questions of whats "normal" in bed if you can help, I guess it would take a bit off my mind,

Is it normal to ask her to put the condom on and do women mind? I ask because sometimes I lose my erection putting it on myself (nerves i guess)

Is it normal for the girl to guide it in? Just as I said Im not very experienced and sometimes worry about spending half the night trying to find it. In general should I do it myself?
Basically Ive had some women do it but I dont know if they know its because im inexperienced or not if you get me.

When women orgasm is it uncomfortable for them to continue having sex for a while afterwards? Sometimes Ive had the problem of not cumming , does this bother women in the same way it would bother a bloke if the women didnt orgasm? I even had to kind of fake it once believe it or not.

When changing positions should I just do it or suggest it or what?


Sorry I know I might sound very clinical or something with these questions but I guess its just the basic stuff Im wondering. Ive never had a long term girlfriend to the point where I could learn properly and completely relax with sex.

Thanks , any help will be appreciated

hungryhippo

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi, despite these questions I have actually had sex a few times, not enough for age my mind you (24), I am relatively very inexperienced and have only been with a few women through the years.

How many should a 24 yr old have been with? There is no quota that you have to fill on an annual basis. A few at 24 isn't bad going.

Unregistered wrote: »

Im just wondering the answers to some basic basic questions of whats "normal" in bed if you can help, I guess it would take a bit off my mind,

Is it normal to ask her to put the condom on and do women mind? I ask because sometimes I lose my erection putting it on myself (nerves i guess)

Is it normal for the girl to guide it in? Just as I said Im not very experienced and sometimes worry about spending half the night trying to find it. In general should I do it myself?
Basically Ive had some women do it but I dont know if they know its because im inexperienced or not if you get me.

When women orgasm is it uncomfortable for them to continue having sex for a while afterwards? Sometimes Ive had the problem of not cumming , does this bother women in the same way it would bother a bloke if the women didnt orgasm? I even had to kind of fake it once believe it or not.

When changing positions should I just do it or suggest it or what?


Sorry I know I might sound very clinical or something with these questions but I guess its just the basic stuff Im wondering. Ive never had a long term girlfriend to the point where I could learn properly and completely relax with sex.

Thanks , any help will be appreciated

With all these things, it varies from couple to couple and whatever feels right for both of you in the privacy and intimacy of the situation will happen. You are overthinking things waaaaaayyy too much. There are no set mechanics. Stop worrying, relax and enjoy yourself, and she will too.

LegacyUser

Nothing is 'normal'... normality is totally reletive. Normal could be the ould missionary with the lights off and nothing more or really extreme hardcore s**t, sex is all about having a little bit of fun toghther and enjoying each others company! And no two partners are alike... but yes, I know what you are getting at. Hope I can help!

Is it normal to ask her to put the condom on and do women mind?
I wouldn't say any would mind putting it on, but it wouldn't be that unusual to find a girl who hasn't done it before or isn't very good at it! It really is YOUR job If it is taking you a while (greater than 10 seconds) than you should probably practice more and consider that that brand might be a bit small or even inside out. PRACTICE is the key here dude, and have it ready... don't be going digging in your pants pocket on the floor when you feel the time is right. Leave the johnny on the ground beside the bed.

Is it normal for the girl to guide it in? Basically Ive had some women do it but I dont know if they know its because im inexperienced or not if you get me.
Yep. Though she doesn't always. in my experience almost all girls will lend a hand, and even if they don't initially, they soon do if they feel you are fumbling a bit. I am no Ron Jeremy rest assured, but I've been round a bit and this is totally normal.

When changing positions should I just do it or suggest it or what?
Depends on the position really. Some you can't just 'do' without co operation! And ask her what she likes. You like going on top etc.

The key is to relax. And making a mental not while you are actually in the act itself. I'M GOING TO RELAX AND ENJOY THIS, AND I AM GOING TO MAKE SURE SHE ENJOYS IT TOO

Good luck!

kdak

like hungryhippo said it'll all come naturally (no pun intended!) but it is difficult not knowing what to expect and worrying who will do what.
just hand her the condom! she'll get the point!
as for guiding it in, just play around and cuddle, she'll do it when shes ready and if she doesnt just try do it yourself, if you find it awkward she'll prob cop on and help you along.
at the end of the day if she just leaves you to do everything and doesnt help you out a bit is she really worth the effort?!
maybe tell her beforehand that you're a bit nervous. she wont mind.
changing positions, it depends on how drastic a change it is!
i mean you can do subtle changes without discussing it but you cant just lift her up and fling her down without saying anything! you get me? you'll know whats right as you're doing it, maybe just say 'how about we try something new' and see how she reacts?
sorry im not much help but it is generally just a natural thing that happens!

Blisterman

First off, there's no such thing as normal. There's whatever's right for both of you.

But I can see why you wouldn't want to seem inexperienced. So I'll attempt to answer your questions:

Is it normal to ask her to put the condom on and do women mind? I ask because sometimes I lose my erection putting it on myself (nerves i guess)

Personally, I'd do it myself the first few times, just so you can make sure it's on right. If she offers, let her. Losing the erection could be caused by the condom being too tight, for you. (More than about 5.5" around) Try getting a box of Trojan Magnums, which are a bit wider.

Is it normal for the girl to guide it in? Just as I said Im not very experienced and sometimes worry about spending half the night trying to find it. In general should I do it myself?
Basically Ive had some women do it but I dont know if they know its because im inexperienced or not if you get me.

There's no normal way of doing it. If she guides it in, well and good. If not, do it yourself. I'm sure you have a rough idea of where you're aiming for. Just gently slide your cock up and down her vulva until you feel the right spot. You're unlikely to accidentilly stick it in the wrong hole, so I wouldn't worry about that.

When women orgasm is it uncomfortable for them to continue having sex for a while afterwards? Sometimes Ive had the problem of not cumming , does this bother women in the same way it would bother a bloke if the women didnt orgasm? I even had to kind of fake it once believe it or not.

Depends on the woman. Some women find it uncomfortable. Some, want you to continue. A lot will never orgasm from sex alone, some will never orgasm period. So you'll probably have to judge by her reactions, or just ask her.
I've had the never cumming problem before, and It's usually a result of too much alcohol, so I'd cut that out. If not, I'd just try and finish off by hand. If she's satisfied, I don't think she'll really mind.

When changing positions should I just do it or suggest it or what?

Best thing is to show confidence, and take the lead. Tell her what to do (not in a nasty way), "Lift your leg up", "turn around" etc. She may very well have a few suggestions of her own.


Most importantly of all, don't worry too much. If she's in any way a nice person, I'm sure she'll be understanding, if you're a little clumsy or awkward. Everyone's got to start somewhere.

Latchy

Unregistered wrote: »

,

Is it normal to ask her to put the condom on and do women mind? I ask because sometimes I lose my erection putting it on myself (nerves i guess)

Quite normal because not every girl is expierenced either so might make it intresting and exciting for her doing so

Is it normal for the girl to guide it in? Just as I said Im not very experienced and sometimes worry about spending half the night trying to find it. In general should I do it myself?

Also quite normal .If your a bit on the big size or just average she might have trouble taking you in straight on , so by guiding it in, she is making it as comfortable for herself as much as you

When women orgasm is it uncomfortable for them to continue having sex for a while afterwards? Sometimes Ive had the problem of not cumming , does this bother women in the same way it would bother a bloke if the women didnt orgasm? I even had to kind of fake it once believe it or not.

If your both enjoying then it then it doesnt matter to much if you dont cum and lots of people may find they have to fake it for effect as much as anything . The foreplay and build up is as much important as anything .Depends on the womon if she does / doesn't feel comfortable after orgasm

When changing positions should I just do it or suggest it or what?

She might like that fact that you asked .Lots of women would but some like it done without words exchanged to . Go with your gut feeling and dont worry about it to much .You'll be surprised what's good for you both as you experiment along the way

gagomes

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi, despite these questions I have actually had sex a few times, not enough for age my mind you (24), I am relatively very inexperienced and have only been with a few women through the years.

Im just wondering the answers to some basic basic questions of whats "normal" in bed if you can help, I guess it would take a bit off my mind,

Is it normal to ask her to put the condom on and do women mind? I ask because sometimes I lose my erection putting it on myself (nerves i guess)

Is it normal for the girl to guide it in? Just as I said Im not very experienced and sometimes worry about spending half the night trying to find it. In general should I do it myself?
Basically Ive had some women do it but I dont know if they know its because im inexperienced or not if you get me.

When women orgasm is it uncomfortable for them to continue having sex for a while afterwards? Sometimes Ive had the problem of not cumming , does this bother women in the same way it would bother a bloke if the women didnt orgasm? I even had to kind of fake it once believe it or not.

When changing positions should I just do it or suggest it or what?


Sorry I know I might sound very clinical or something with these questions but I guess its just the basic stuff Im wondering. Ive never had a long term girlfriend to the point where I could learn properly and completely relax with sex.

Thanks , any help will be appreciated

I can't comment on the condom, as I never wore one. As for guiding it in, some girls will either help you with their hands or guide you with words and if you're struggling they will take the lead, because they want it in the right spot and it's not pleasing to wait in such circumstances either.

Regarding positions, just ask her openly what she prefers next, you should always give the choice to her (unless it's someone you dont really care about, like a one night stand).

As far as not having an orgasm, I can tell you that with my first and only gf, we spent 3 days in a hotel doing it like bunnies for the whole 3 days, I came out all injured in it and never orgasmed once, then we spent 2months away from each other (she lived in an island) and when she came back for 9 days holidays with me, we spent another 7 days without me ever getting an orgasm...and during the 9 days, I only had 1.. I don't think they mind, as long as you don't over'react about it, but I can say that on the 6th day, my gf started crying and blaming herself for being a lousy partner... and it was all due to my unfit conditions and nervousness (she thought I wasn't virgin when she met me, so that thought of me being nervous never crossed her head).

As the other members previously said, sex is about having fun. If you feel nervous, open yourself to your partner and tell her. Enjoy it. I have this kind of attitude which makes me only enjoy sex when the partner is enjoying it, so to actually get me "on", I have to first make sure she is enjoying it greatly, because in the end, it's not very pleasing to look at the woman frustrated about not having had pleasure / enjoyment, even if they don't say it or say they don't mind - never trust these statements, bad sex in these days and era is more than enough reason to break up marriage.

Practise it!!

orestes

When it comes to sex there is no such thing as normal. All people, situations and relationships are different, just go with what feels right for you and your partner, learn to read each others bodies and preferences and follow your instincts and respect each others boundries and preferences. If you are not comfortable following your instincts with a lover, or not sure of what they would be comfortable with, discuss it with them. However, I personally feel that if you are sleeping with someone it is generally a good indicator that you have a general indicatio of their mindset and what they wil and will not like as a person.

There is no sex-guide 101 that will tell you how to please every lover perfectly (sex for dummies has yet to be written, thank gods), it is the dynamic between the people involved and their understanding of each others wants and needs that is important and leads to a satisfying sexual relationship imo.

LegacyUser

Is it normal to ask her to put the condom on and do women mind? I ask because sometimes I lose my erection putting it on myself (nerves i guess)

I like putting it on right as I know it will be done right. I am female.

Is it normal for the girl to guide it in? Just as I said Im not very experienced and sometimes worry about spending half the night trying to find it. In general should I do it myself?
Basically Ive had some women do it but I dont know if they know its because im inexperienced or not if you get me.

I would tend to yes.

When women orgasm is it uncomfortable for them to continue having sex for a while afterwards?

No its fine as long as the man doesn't persist in jabbing at the clit with fingers or doing bad cunnilungus, can be very sensitive! But as for simple riding, no problem. Might even come again so I might!

Sometimes Ive had the problem of not cumming , does this bother women in the same way it would bother a bloke if the women didnt orgasm? I even had to kind of fake it once believe it or not.

Doesnt bother me unless they are upset. Sometimes it just wont happen. Happens to everyone!

When changing positions should I just do it or suggest it or what?

I personally like it when a man pushes me around the bed a bit! I like a dominant man!

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies everyone, I appreciate it and it also puts my mind at ease. I do appreciate there are no set rules and I was worried Id come across that way, I guess i was just wondering what the norm was with certain things like that.
Reading here will give me more confidence in bed anyway so thanks again. While I know its only practice that makes perfect I think you can actually become very good in bed from just reading advice like this or other articles about womens body etc! Just thought id mention that

That_Guy

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi, despite these questions I have actually had sex a few times, not enough for age my mind you (24), I am relatively very inexperienced and have only been with a few women through the years.

Don't worry about how many times you've had sex. Nobody has to know that unless you feel comfortable telling people.

Im just wondering the answers to some basic basic questions of whats "normal" in bed if you can help, I guess it would take a bit off my mind

Normal sexual behaviour varies from couple to couple. Straight forward sex (in, out, finish) may not be considered normal to other couples who may find S&M normal.

Is it normal to ask her to put the condom on and do women mind? I ask because sometimes I lose my erection putting it on myself (nerves i guess)

I understand how you feel. It depends on the girl really. Twice before a girl has put a condom on for me orally. It was the just in the heat of the moment really. I don't mind putting it on myself either but I find it much more arousing if a girl puts it on but I don't force it upon her.

Is it normal for the girl to guide it in? Just as I said Im not very experienced and sometimes worry about spending half the night trying to find it. In general should I do it myself?
Basically Ive had some women do it but I dont know if they know its because im inexperienced or not if you get me.

If a girl guides it in herself it's not a reflection on how inexperienced you may feel yourself to be. If it should pop back out she may steer it back in herself. It's no big deal if she does. You shouldn't be so paranoid about this type of stuff.

When women orgasm is it uncomfortable for them to continue having sex for a while afterwards? Sometimes Ive had the problem of not cumming , does this bother women in the same way it would bother a bloke if the women didnt orgasm? I even had to kind of fake it once believe it or not.

I'm not sure about it being uncomfortable. Drawing from experience I've often continued and she didn't mind at all.
Ejaculate in your own time. You shouldn't feel pressured that she's done it first and you haven't. Sex should be enjoyable for you both so don't finish til you.... finish..

When changing positions should I just do it or suggest it or what?

Again this depends on the girl you're with. If you're in the heat of passion it might just happen without warning. One time however, I was changing positions but she wasn't comfortable with it. I was a little embarrassed but we were soon back to it. Make sure you don't change into a position you or your partner are not comfortable with.

Sorry I know I might sound very clinical or something with these questions but I guess its just the basic stuff Im wondering. Ive never had a long term girlfriend to the point where I could learn properly and completely relax with sex.

Thanks , any help will be appreciated

There's no harm in asking. No doubt you've asked what a lot of people are too afraid to ask. Best of luck mate.

LegacyUser

I too have an etiquette question that I'm not too sure about so hopefully someone will be able to advise. It's based around entering the bedroom with a girl (mainly on one night stands)

...do people normally hop into bed and then see what happens
or do they take each others clothes off etc?

Sorry to be so blunt but any time this has happened feel so awkward and don't know what to do.