Friend thinks I'm slutty

LegacyUser

So last week I was on a sun holiday with one of my best friends and her male cousin (they are quite close, live in the same street etc). I only met him for the first time in the airport going over, I thought he was hot and seemed really nice. We went sightseeing for a bit on the first day, all got along great and then the second day we all went to the beach. There was a definite chemistry between me and the cousin by this time, he was cheeky and flirty with me, when my friend was in the sea he commented that I had great tits - I laughed and flirted back. That evening we went for dinner and had a good few drinks. When we came home, my friend went into the master bedroom in the apartment and me and the cousin stayed up having a beer and chatting. We soon started kissing and going a little bit further lying on the couch - I had my boobs out so he could suck and bite on my nipples and he had his hand inside my pants. My friend happened to walk out at this moment to go to the kitchen, we just carried on as we were pretty drunk and didnt think it was a big deal. She went back in and we were messing around for another half an hour or so, I gave him a handjob and a little bit of head and we went to bed.

The next morning my friend was obviously annoyed, I apologised for being a bit indiscreet on the couch but she seemed annoyed that I'd been with her cousin at all. She asked me what we'd done together, I told her and she seemed appalled and said it was tacky and slutty to do stuff with a guy Id met a day earlier. I was a bit shocked, as I don't see anything wrong with hooking up casually, it's not like we even had sex! We didn't do anything else for the rest of the holiday and the atmosphere was terrible. She's barely speaking to me now. Did I do something wrong or is she being a cow?

Beruthiel

stupidgirlx wrote: »

Did I do something wrong

You would appear to be lacking in tact, manners and a basic subtly in regards to your nocturnal activities.
A bit of sensitivity with regards to her being in the same apt. as you would suggest that you at least control yourselves until you had total privacy. No?

Considering the above, you at least own her an apology for your thoughtlessness and lack of consideration.

Armin_Tamzarian

stupidgirlx wrote: »

he commented that I had great tits

Pics or GTFO.

Kimbot

OP, do you normally hook up with guys on a night out when at home?

Beruthiel

The_Coon wrote: »

Pics or GTFO.

Banned for a week.

SoupyNorman

I think your friend would have not been that happy with you that you were fooling around with her cousin in general, but I think she'd be still talking to you if you didnt go legs akimbo in front of her.

A little bit of discretion and tact would of went along way here...unlike The Coon's post above :rolleyes:


edit 'it was a little slutty' (but thats allowed from time to time)

Dr Bolouswki

all seems reasonable enough behaviour to me - would've been better to have your fun where you wouldnt be walked in on, but its hardly something for anyone to get their knickers in a twist about unless people are part of the "god save our morality campaign" or whatever. I prefer to think personal morality goes a bit beyond being slightly embarressed about something.

LegacyUser

jonny24ie wrote: »

OP, do you normally hook up with guys on a night out when at home?

The odd time, yes. Not all the time or anything.

It's not as if we did stuff on purpose in front of her. We both thought she was sound asleep and we didn't hear her getting up. There was only one bedroom, where were we supposed to go?

Salome

Maybe it was the fact that it was her cousin you were fooling around with. A friend of mine once objected to me seeing her brother - perhaps she didn't want her friend getting involved with her cousin?

I think you should have asked her if she minded - on two counts - if she minded if you got with her cousin and two, if she minded that you fooled around in the same apartment?

A little consideration for her feelings might have made it a bit more palatable for her.

You need to apologise for not taking her feelings on board.

Kimbot

stupidgirlx wrote: »

The odd time, yes. Not all the time or anything.

It's not as if we did stuff on purpose in front of her. We both thought she was sound asleep and we didn't hear her getting up. There was only one bedroom, where were we supposed to go?

Well you could look at it like this:

A) She thought that it may end bad between you guys and maybe she doesn't want you guys fighting or bitching about each other.

If you do get with a lot of guys she might not be into that scene.

Either way you say she is close to her cousin. Maybe that is the reason for it.

Overheal

I don't think I would have given her the details. I don't think she Really wanted to hear about it.

Similarly while I love a good literotica as much as the next guy I don't see how those details are relevant here.

kmart6

Beruthiel wrote: »

You would appear to be lacking in tact, manners and a basic subtly in regards to your nocturnal activities.
A bit of sensitivity with regards to her being in the same apt. as you would suggest that you at least control yourselves until you had total privacy. No?

Considering the above, you at least own her an apology for your thoughtlessness and lack of consideration.

She did apologise!

SarahSassy

stupidgirlx wrote: »

My friend happened to walk out at this moment to go to the kitchen, we just carried on as we were pretty drunk and didnt think it was a big deal.

stupidgirlx wrote: »

It's not as if we did stuff on purpose in front of her. We both thought she was sound asleep and we didn't hear her getting up.

So which was it? Did you know she passed or not? Did you carry on when you knew she was there or not? Just a tad inconsistent dont you think?

stupidgirlx wrote: »

There was only one bedroom, where were we supposed to go?

Somewhere private...

I would rather not walk in on my friend and cousin getting it on and think it was not slutty but very tacky.

wylo

Nothing wrong with hooking up but....

stupidgirlx wrote: »

My friend happened to walk out at this moment to go to the kitchen, we just carried on as we were pretty drunk and didnt think it was a big deal.

of course she thinks your a slut. lol I wouldnt know what to do if i walked out to my kitchen to find my cousin getting a blowjob or handjob and they didnt stop, id probably start laughing

Overheal

There was only one bedroom, where were we supposed to go?

Janitor's closest, Ice Dispenser, Elevator, Hot Tub, The Beach, Alleyway, Hotel Lobby/Lobby Bathroom. Basically Anywhere else, which accounts for about 99.999999999999999999999% of all places you could have made strange with her cousin.

i think she has every right to be annoyed.. she walked in on her cousin and best friend getting it on. no one wants to see that.

the fact ye stayed out on the couch for another half an hour after getting caught suggests that yes, your friends opinion of you is spot on.

LoGiE

Is her Cousin getting the same treatment? If he's not I guess it's the fact you where with a relative of hers. She had gone to bed ffs.
Your both adults and can fool around with whomever you like and you where in an apartment away from the public! Slutty is going at it in a back alley or hanging off the balcony screaming. Hell have you been to nightclubs in Dublin? There's a hell of a lot worse going on in dark corners and toilets. If you ask me she's over reacted.

Ciaran B

She was probably just shocked to find her friend and cousin in flagrante. You apologised if she still has an issue with the two of you that's her problem, you can't make her change her opinion. I'd just let it go.

LegacyUser

I can totally see where shes coming from. Put yourself in her shoes; she goes on holiday with a close friend and her cousin, expecting to have a good time. First night there, shes totally excluded and becomes an unwanted gooseberry/third wheel. Perfect way to spoil the holiday for her IMO.

If hes really so hot and great, could you not have waited till ye were back home?
And if hes not that hot or great, why would you take the chance of hurting your friend?

Very selfish behaviour.

estar

if you are going on holidays, are single, might think of getting personal with someone, spend the extra bucks on your own room.

otherwise keep your clothes on. its really disrespectful in a closed area to start having semi - full relations and then not even acknowledge another person is there, like covering up when they walk in.

you were sharing the space but you treated her like she wasnt there.

of course she isnt speaking to you.

just apologise, say you werent thinking, and that you will take her comments on board.

she isnt over reacting at all, she just has standards of how she wishes to be treated. a group holiday means behaving as if you are part of a group, not hooking up and having relations in front of the third person like they werent there.

but if you are happy with your behaviour, and think shes over reacting, get new friends who dont mind watching you having nearly full se% at the drop of a hat.

and as for your comment - where else were we meant to go

were all three of you in one room in an apartment? where was he meant to sleep? where was his room?

and - horror of horrors, couldnt you just say, wait until you had privacy?

honru

I see nothing wrong with hooking up with your friend's cousin, unless she specifically asked you not to do so beforehand and you agreed. Otherwise, there's no real issue.

If she walked out on you two, she probably felt hurt that you didn't acknowledge her. That I can understand.

michellie

you should have stopped when she walked into the room....ffs, have a bit of respect like:rolleyes:

ibarelycare

LoGiE wrote: »

Is her Cousin getting the same treatment? If he's not I guess it's the fact you where with a relative of hers. She had gone to bed ffs.
Your both adults and can fool around with whomever you like and you where in an apartment away from the public! Slutty is going at it in a back alley or hanging off the balcony screaming. Hell have you been to nightclubs in Dublin? There's a hell of a lot worse going on in dark corners and toilets. If you ask me she's over reacted.

+1

OP, you're NOT a slut. You had an attraction to this guy, you hooked up and had a bit of fun, nothing at all wrong with that.

However, as most people have said, a bit of discretion wouldn't have gone astray.

I do think your friend is overreacting though. Do you mind me asking what age you all are? I think it's quite immature for her to be mad at you for being with him, it's none of her business who either of you hook up with, you're both consenting adults (I presume!) If it's just the fact that you hooked up with each other in the next room that she's mad at, then I still think she's overreacting. I'd probably be a bit mad too at the start but she should have gotten over it and not dragged it on for the whole holiday.

I wonder is jealousy an issue? I know it's her cousin and all but perhaps she's very close to him and doesn't want an intrusion in their relationship. I have 2 friends who have brothers that some of my other friends ended up being with and it did cause a bad atmosphere within between them and I think jealousy was the reason.

Anyway, don't worry, you're not a slut. Just be more discreet the next time!

Dudess

In my opinion there's only one thing out of order with what the OP did - not stopping the sexytime when her mate came into the room. That was bad form - ok, you were all hot and excited and it would have been hard to stop, but still possible. Did you not think things would heat up between you when you went back to the apartment?

Other than that though, I think the OP's friend majorly over-reacted. It's not "slutty" to fool around with a guy you've just met - especially on holidays and behind closed doors, there's nothing wrong with it being her friend's cousin either - what on earth would be wrong with that? That's almost as silly as that nonsensical "rule" that guys can't date their mates' sisters. If the two were attracted to each other it would be very selfish of the best friend to take issue with them hooking up just to save HER feelings.

Piste

I thik slutty is a pretty subjective term. I think what you did was totally slutty and tacky, does it make it wrong? Not necessarily, the only wrong thing you did was pissing off your friend.

KittyeeTrix

OP, to hell with your so called friend.......
None of her goddamn business, she should have turned on her heels when she saw ye and went back into her room...

Can understand ye were drunk so ye didn't realise to stop, well at least I hope that's the why it carried on even when she didn't have the cop on to go back to her room.

Honestly forget about her.
By the way what age are ye both, I mean you and the friend?

hungryhippo

Forget about it. What happens on holiday stays on holiday. She should know this. You were there to let your hair down and you did. Thats the whole point of sun holidays. Boozing and getting your end away while hammered. Rinse and repeat x 7/14 nts.