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Depressed and insecure

  • 24-04-2009 6:03pm
    #1
    irrevocably
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭


    I have an amazing boyfriend who is one of the nice guys and he chased me for months,now we've been together almost a year and we're so in love,we're young but he's proposed to me again and again and he talks about our future all the time,thing is I suffer from depression,and i'm not sure if that's the cause but i'm completly irrationally insecure and jealous. Not that I have anything to be jealous about,I just get insecure if there's a good looking girl in a film we're watching,if a good looking girl passes us on the street,if a good looking girl USED to be in some club he USED to be in,or if there USED to be a good looking girl in the school he USED to be in,if his friends girlfriend is pretty,if there's any girl in one of his classes,if one of the guest speakers happens to be female,if his mam has her middle aged friends over for drinks I ask him if they're hot?!! I'm ridiculous! He's so understanding but I have this irrational fear that he'll cheat,even though he only kissed one girl before me! I feel really sad and insecure in all the above situations and I can't stop,it's mostly about girls in the past,even before we went out,what celebrities he fancied etc.. I don't know what to do,it's not fair on him and it hurts me so much...but maybe I just have to put it down to the depression,anyone any idea?


Comments

  • #2
    star-pants
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    OP I'm not sure it's really down to depression (it may or may not be a factor). I have known female like yourself, just jealous about any other female in their OHs life - even celebrities they fancy. Infact a friend of mines' bf used to hate when she'd say if she found a guy in a movie hot.

    It's something you personally need to get over, you need to conquer this - start small.
    You also have to trust your boyfriend - otherwise what's the point? You'd only be a nervous wreck everytime he was out of your sight.
    Regarding you feeling low, I would suggest maybe a trip to your GP to see what they think. You might benefit from counselling, and this may also help with the jealousy/fear.


  • #3
    bluecell99
    Closed Accounts Posts: 259 ✭✭bluecell99


    I dont see this as depression more like obsession.You are happy and content but this is affectiong things and ultimately could damage your future together.You will have to get over the fact that there are other women everywhere you turn and many are attractive and desireable for guys.But he is with you.Why doubt his committment?Your own insecurity needs to be dealt with.Try to focus on your own situation and forget the what ifs.Like does he fancy someone else he migh see in passing or someone he works with.This is unhealthy and you must know this deep down.Its completely irrational.

    Relax and enjoy more.If after some more time and these feelings and doubts are still there or getting stronger then you should see someone in a professional capacity.No shame if thats the case and it is an issue which can be dealt with.But deal with it you must.


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