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Shyness problems

  • 24-04-2009 3:11pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi

    im a shy person and i always have been. I do have good friends and a boyf tho so i dont feel alone. My problem is that my friends often ask me to parties or to pubs where there is going to be people i dont know, and i just dread it. I always make some excuse to avoid it and to be honest im running out of excuses. But any time i do go to these things i never know how to talk to other people and i just feel awkward and dont enjoy it.

    The thing is im happy enough to stay at home, i enjoy being at home and i know i can see my friends other times when theyre wont be a big crowd of strangers there. I just feel worried that people must think im weird that i always avoid these things. And also my boyf has said it to me once or twice that i dont open up when we're with his friends and im too quiet. I dont want them to think im rude or cold, im just very shy around people i dont know.

    The thing is i'd be quite happy to be the way i am if i didnt worry so much about what others might think of me. I know theres been threads on this before so sorry if im boring everybody. I guess im just looking for some advice or if there is other people who feel like this and how do you handle it.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Unregistered wrote: »

    The thing is i'd be quite happy to be the way i am if i didnt worry so much about what others might think of me. I know theres been threads on this before so sorry if im boring everybody. I guess im just looking for some advice or if there is other people who feel like this and how do you handle it.


    I used to be very like you and am still to a point...

    I used to have to get drunk before going to parties so I could interact as I was totally self conscious.

    Firstly, I guess I have more going on in my life now so I am less concerned of having nothing to talk about... I have also fairly strong opinions and feel now that I can air them, without caring too much with what other people say.

    I have a hobby now which means I interact more now with people who have similar love of the hobby and it means

    Here;s a thing - I hang out with some friends and I have realised over the last year of so that actually, I don't have a lot to say to them really and that they don't have a lot to say to me - they were more friends of a friend of mine. I used to think that it was me but I realised having travelled and having made other friends in the last few years that it wasn't me that was the problem.

    Also, I used to get on only on a one-to-one basis so I'd hate being in a pub in a big group - I still prefer one to one if it's a good conversation. It never suited me sitting in a bunch of lads talking ****e - I'd rather have a good laugh/witty banter.

    Sometimes we might be a bit scared of saying the wrong thing - well, that's allowed and it's quite human to do so... if someone ever takes me up on it, I acknowledge it and then move on.

    I realised that I really like people and I really like interesting people - they don't have to be loud and outgoing.

    If you're happy not to go out and party then don't - it doesn't suit everyone.


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