First impressions

LegacyUser

I have a trial tomorrow for a new job. It usually takes ages for people to get to know me and like me. I don't know why, it just does. I'm talking months. In front of strangers I think I come across rather serious, charmless and I am really very very crap at small talk. I can never think of anything to say. With my friends I am a good laugh and very relaxed but clam up if I don't know people and so they end up not liking me. So my dilemma is how to make a good and lasting impression tomorrow? I really really want this job...

star-pants

I guess the best thing is to try and be relaxed, hard I know, but if you're relaxed you might be likely to be more yourself.
Everyones aware that the first day someone is going to be nervous, a bit reserved and just trying to get to know the place. So just try to be friendly and polite, smile at people and most of all just try and take in what you're being shown. The ability to pick up on your job is going to be a bit more important than how well you socialise with people on your first day.

LegacyUser

Just be yourself. Remember the saying, "how can you expect anyone else to like/love you if you do not like/love yourself". If you have difficulty with this, think of the real you, the person inside. Remind yourself of all your good traits and of how nice you are and be nice to others. People will know that the first day is always hard, but once you are pleasant, and you feel good about youurself, this will shine through. Good luck, a new job is always hard but it's the start of a new part of your life and who knows what amazing things will come out of it.

wylo

Op you pretty much described me, the difference is im not as self concious about it as I used to be and that has actually helped me.

My main bit of practical advice (coming from someone who understands) is DONT try and make too much an effort to be someone your not, i.e. saying too much or trying too hard to be friends with everybody, thats all well and good if you have the natural personality for it but it has the opposite effect if you dont, people can see desperation from a mile away.

My other advice is to be "sound", i.e. smile if yer talking about something thats worth smiling about, if your asked any casual questions try and elaborate a bit but dont put pressure on yourself to put on a social performance. Try not to go around with a serious head.

youve to remember the most important thing is people dont really care as much about you as you might think. That might sound harsh but i mean it in a good way, there all too wrapped up in their own thing to be judging your personality.

In summary, be polite and friendly, just dont fall over yourself with stupid stories for the sake of it.

Girrrrseach

Hi there!!

I would suggest the following:

1) Dress to impress, but be comfortable!! Pick out all your clothes and little details the night before.
2) SMILE!!! Nothing like it.
3) Handshake
4) Ask questions - you want to be seen as being interested, and the interview should be two-way
5) Act confident even if you don't feel confident.

They're some main ones that come to mind.... remember, a first impression is made within the first 3 seconds of contact, so smile and don't be phased. Your CV got you this far, so you have the skills - now its just a matter of selling yourself and showing them just how much they need to hire you!!!

cafecolour

I've interviewed plenty of people. Competence is far and away what someone is looking for - make sure you have gone over possible questions in your head, have answers prepared with specific EXAMPLES of what you did (in a previous job/experience) or would do.

Serious is fine, they aren't interviewing for drinking buddies. BUT if you come off as a wanker - ie someone who will be difficult to work with - then you're in trouble. So stay friendly, and use an example or two to illustrate how well you work with other people.

Honestly, IMHO keeping the small talk limited is a better way to go - too much just seems like someone is nervous/overcompensating. Just have some vague pleasantries - ie weather, the trip here (yeah it was easy enough to get to, I drove/took the bus/etc.), the facilities (never been out here before, nice building, etc.) - to start, and then get into the meat of it.

LegacyUser

OP here, thanks a mill to you all for taking the time to give me your advice. Will definitely take it all on board....